About alexwagner21 : My name's Alex!
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alexwagner21's favorite FMLs
Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 11:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
by emancipate me / 05/15/2016 at 3:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 05/10/2016 at 9:30pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by just-a-fat-cat / 05/02/2016 at 11:25pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML
by Squeepy / 04/09/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous