About alexwagner21 : My name's Alex!
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alexwagner21's favorite FMLs
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML
by Squeepy / 04/09/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
by mel / 03/25/2016 at 9:20am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2016 at 9:21am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work
Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML
by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy