afrikaaner

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afrikaaner

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1165
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About afrikaaner : I love Ice cream!

afrikaaner's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:02am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 8:02pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:52am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:59am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:38pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:21am<b>chirockz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:30pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:43pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:33am<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:18pm<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:35pm<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 3:53am<b>kayy_leigh</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:23pm

afrikaaner's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

afrikaaner's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

by woopdeedo_1 / 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

by nutrigrain123 / 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

by Samantha / 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids