Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

afrikaaner

Search for a member

afrikaaner

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1076
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About afrikaaner : I love Ice cream!

afrikaaner's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:38pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:21am<b>chirockz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:30pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:43pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:33am<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:18pm<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:35pm<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 3:53am<b>kayy_leigh</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:23pm<b>RiahBaby97</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 10:58pm<b>frenchaussie</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:00am<b>nitrams</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 12:19pm<b>heaskittles</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 6:27am

afrikaaner's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

afrikaaner's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (3302)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (26345)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61487) - you deserved it (3815)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47245) - you deserved it (20820)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (699523) - you deserved it (470129)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252794) - you deserved it (86625)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: