abbybailey204

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Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 10:28am)

abbybailey204

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2353
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About abbybailey204 : Hi, I'm Patrick. Most people think I'm funny, and fun to be around. I treat others the way they treat me. Period. You don't piss me off, I don't piss you off. It's how it works. Also, feel free to message me!

abbybailey204's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - yesterday at 1:39pm<b>walid820014</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:34pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:14am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:48am<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:11am<b>ninety</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Nathan_h24</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:51am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:31am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:51pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:19am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:58am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:44pm<b>theycallmemerlee</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:39pm<b>FreshToDeathEf</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:52pm

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abbybailey204's favorite FMLs

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by Grrrreat / 02/04/2015 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

by middleagednurse / 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

by sammarli530 / 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

by longsock123 / 04/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

by stadams1024 / 09/11/2012 at 4:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 3:23am / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

by tylah / 06/23/2012 at 11:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous