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Kallystos

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Kallystos
  • Town/Country : Leiria, Portugal
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 28
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kallystos : I am just me!

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Kallystos's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
199 comments

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51612) - you deserved it (5416)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (60267)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (14846)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (16133)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (6431)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78611) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50071) - you deserved it (8584)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51989) - you deserved it (4781)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (11594)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (9365)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54962) - you deserved it (22591)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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