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Juryduty

Offline (the 06/13/2015 at 8:43pm) | Search for a member

Juryduty

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Juryduty's page activity

Visits<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:56pm<b>silverstream20</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:09am<b>Bubbles68</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:44pm

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Juryduty's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (9813)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (2538)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41082) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43401) - you deserved it (4436)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56072) - you deserved it (7162)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (20935)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56922) - you deserved it (6493)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46534) - you deserved it (8748)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47169) - you deserved it (4775)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (6040)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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