About DiJsLifeStyle : I come from the land of sand..
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DiJsLifeStyle's favorite FMLs
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
by Kira / 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals
by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by walllflower / 02/08/2015 at 2:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by sorry :/ / 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML
by PikidiliJo / 12/24/2014 at 2:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML
by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML
by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML
by anyoldnamewilldo / 12/11/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by unlucky / 12/11/2014 at 8:26am / Hong Kong / Work
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
- Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright,… Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts… Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of…