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Brilliant66star's favorite FMLs
Today, I was travelling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
by sufia / 09/29/2016 at 7:14am / Pakistan / Transportation
by christacat / 09/28/2016 at 6:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by tedfragle / 09/28/2016 at 5:52am / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
Today, I was talking with a very attractive co-worker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as the moth lady. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Work
by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by American Idiot / 09/20/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Whybother / 09/20/2016 at 4:13am / United States (Hawaii) / Work
Today, after talking to the man whose car I scratched, we agreed that the damages and cost of repair were so low and instead of me paying I just buy him coffee. When I showed up he saw me, decided I was too ugly to have coffee with, and instead demanded full payment in cash. FML
by ilovepancakes / 09/19/2016 at 8:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my girlfriend contacted me. She said she'd thought over her feelings over our temporary break in the relationship, and she wanted to try again. Being my stupid, self-loathing self, I asked her so many questions on if she was sure or not that she went back into doubt and revoked the offer. FML
by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
by sweetdreams / 09/18/2016 at 2:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by tracy4191 / 09/18/2016 at 1:21am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by polkadotpinup / 09/16/2016 at 1:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Work