About BntyHntrSeattle : I play piano.
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BntyHntrSeattle's favorite FMLs
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
by sad and hungry / 06/06/2015 at 10:37am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anathema_360 / 05/30/2015 at 11:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/30/2015 at 6:59am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by ugh / 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by pgmonster / 05/21/2015 at 6:48am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 7:43am / United States (California) / Work
by SOTS4335 / 05/16/2015 at 6:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by yif2 / 05/16/2015 at 7:47am / United States / Animals
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…