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The all-time greatest FMLs

Meddling

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I received a letter from the doctor's office saying that I'd missed an appointment and could be dropped as a patient if I missed another. My mom scheduled the appointment for me without my knowledge, and never told me that I had one. I also can't make it to any appointments right now, because my car broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 74

No escape

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was all set and ready to leave my cheating, narcissistic husband. I couldn't because my kids wouldn't come with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 130

Hanging out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 156

Circular

By Mario Hugo - 05/07/2021 20:00

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 450

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 215

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 20:00 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 111

Don't look back in anger

By Newny Cooper - 31/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Roselle

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 205

Quality time

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I realized the only time my boyfriend actually makes a little bit of time to see me is when I'm having a full mental breakdown/anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 155

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 3 304

Kids these days

By natasha - 29/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter flat out refused to eat her father’s mashed potatoes. Just a day ago, she was raving about how much she loved her dad’s cooking. Why would she lie? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 143

Great role model

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my possibly soon-to-be ex-husband assaulted his sister because she said that our adoptive kids weren't really ours. Because of the pending criminal charges, we may have the adoption revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 71

Sneaky girl

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I came home from work to pet-sit 2 dogs and 3 cats, only to find the dispenser for the cat food empty. I'd filled the dispenser yesterday and thought I'd placed it where the dogs couldn't reach it after I left for work. The Labrador could in fact reach, and a week's worth of cat food is now in her stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 201

50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 12:00

Today, I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Too bad it put me in the hospital with a slipped disc and a concussion, and yet I just know me and the violent lady in question will probably do it all again at our next date. Good thing my health insurance is paid up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 257

Memories…

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 15:00

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 120

Never enough

By Hyeg - 03/03/2026 03:00

Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 86

Welcome to capitalism

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 91

Nearly there

By Pete - 09/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my grandmother, trying to teach her how to use Facebook. I patiently explained the difference between posting a status and sending a private message. Five minutes later, I saw her new status: “I love you, honey. Thanks for being so patient with me. By the way, I still don’t understand this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 119

Two things that aren't the same

By YanezIbanez - 13/05/2021 06:01

Today, my mother called me "wasteful" because I left the refrigerator door open and that "electricity money doesn’t grow on trees." This is the same person who lets my little sister have her light on all night, because she’s scared of the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 1 458

Haunted dog

By Boo! - 31/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

No kinkshaming

By FutureColombianTourist - 08/11/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow job as we watched a show about Pablo Escobar. This girl wouldn’t put out on my birthday, but Pablo killing a guy in jail gets her going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 213

Shady dealings

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I found out that my husband booked one-way tickets for our family to another country, without any return flights or even a place to stay, or money to navigate anything. We're living with my income, and I’m not sure if I want a divorce or a protective order against him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 73

Sleep cycled out

By ninithel - 24/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 153

Sir, this IS the internet

By greg - 03/04/2024 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m 24 and apparently going back to school and working a minimum wage job is still considered less than the bare minimum. It sounds like something off the internet. However, people’s actions speak even louder than their words. Sorry I wasn’t given everything or blessed with good looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 157

Speak up

By Help me - 28/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 162

Better life

By Coffeelock Jade - 24/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered that my friend's mom found my little sister, who is severely narcoleptic, muddy and sleeping in the park yesterday. She thought she was abandoned and took her to their home. They are extremely rich, and was treated royally that night. Now my sister refuses to "wake up to reality" and come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 85

Flustered

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 140

Safety first

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my parents had my little sister's birthday pool party at our house. My mom decided to tell all the guests that the pool was "just for decoration" and nobody would actually be allowed to swim in it. Cue a million screaming tantrums and my parents and even me receiving tons of hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 115

Brainiac

By Anonymous - 02/08/2026 22:00

Today, my ex-husband has always been a snob about his high IQ and has always been open about his disappointment that our children are academically average, but now he tells me he won’t be helping pay for college because, as he puts it “What’s the point?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 100

Spiteful

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 182

By anonymous - 30/06/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 884

You deserved it 804 287

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 151 618

Random

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 965

You deserved it 2 974

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 608

You deserved it 2 585

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 416

You deserved it 2 457

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response? "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 012

You deserved it 6 533

Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 126

Today, I asked my dentist to have a look at the tiny crack his colleague repaired a few years ago, because it’s giving me trouble again. He looked in my mouth, took an X-ray, and could find neither the crack, nor the corresponding filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 139