The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

It's the thought that counts

By Mommy - 23/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, my toddler proudly presented me a "beautiful drawing" he'd made... on my freshly painted living room wall. When I started to scold him, he said, "But I made it for YOU, Mommy!" Now I feel guilty for being mad at Picasso Jr, and having to paint over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 176

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 58

What was that?

By Meow - 30/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the task of picking up her cat from the vet. As I carried him out, I heard a really deep and scary noise that caused me to drop the pet taxi with him in it. Then I heard it again, more loudly this time. Turns out that's what his meow sounds like. He never meows, so I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 187

I wanna go home

By "Anonymous survey" my ass - 04/06/2026 12:00 - Brazil - Itajaí

Today, I got written up at work. Apparently, "Going fully remote" is not an answer to "How can we be more sustainable at work and help save the planet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 78

I'm in this FML and I don't like it

By stupid as fuck - 24/10/2023 12:00

Today, and everyday, I'm so dumb that if there is no sign, I can’t tell if a door is pull or push. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 319

Think this through

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents were surprised when I told them that changing the internet and cable service would also cut themselves off from the internet service's email. Which they have everything connected too. I thought about this when they told me they were saving $200 on switching. They apparently did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 75

Keep on trucking

By Katie Rose - 17/11/2025 09:00

Today, for the second time this week, a jerk in a big truck let a big rock fly out of their uncovered back and damaged my windshield. Both times the cops refused to do anything and I can't afford to fix it as I was demoted at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 104

I'm never going to live this down

By BubbleBladeBunz - 01/09/2025 15:00

Today, there's no door between the bathroom and bedroom. So far we've managed all number 2 s(h)ituations without trouble, but I'm on my period, which comes with period poops. He usually sleeps like the dead. I was mid-evacuation of a multi-missile launch when he sat up, wide awake, eye contact, grin on his face. "Hah! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE FIRST!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 112

No way, uh-uh, no, not doing it

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 06:00

Today, I asked my son to show his grandma how to do some basic stuff on the computer. He said no way, he knows how long it takes old people to grasp computers. I jokingly threatened to ground him for 6 months unless he did it. He took the 6 months without hesitating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 1 233

RIP Dipper

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 06:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I made the mistake of watching The Daily Show clip where Jon Stewart talks about losing his dog, and it made me think of my dog I lost. Then, right on cue, the song "Every Breath You Take" came on. Now I'm waiting for my doctor's office to open and sobbing in the car, with people staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 224

Frustrating

By No comment (pun not intended) - 04/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, Facebook severely restricted my account, all because I edited a comment too many times. Apparently, all of the vile shit I see on that website every day is perfectly okay, but editing a comment is not. Some mental gymnastics right here. First world problem, I know, but very frustrating nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 170

The grift situation is insane

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my daughter wants to forego college to embrace the whole “tradwife” bullshit. She doesn’t seem to understand that the videos she loves so much are as fake as anything else on the internet. These are people cosplaying as “traditional” while making millions off gullible idiots online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 110

Thanks for the reminder

By have no mom - 16/05/2024 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 85

I am business

By Viscerion - 15/02/2023 04:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I sold an item on eBay and received $8.36 after fees. It cost me $1.39 for a satchel and $9.70 postage. It cost me $2.73 to give someone my item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 877

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

By Annabell - 07/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Louisa

Today, it's been 5 good months since I reconnected with a guy I've known since elementary. I have him on every social, he called me pretty, etc. We weren't ever together but he acted like my boyfriend. He stopped talking for a month, with messages every now and then, and now he has a girlfriend and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 206

I did warn you…

By sadmd - 29/04/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, my elderly patient accused me of not taking good care of her, because, during my time off, she was taken to the hospital for anemia. I tested her for anemia months ago and discussed it with her, and she'd told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital. Guess who everyone believes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

Popping

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Colwyn Bay

Today, my in-laws were visiting from Texas, so I made a brisket, smoked for 10 hours on the barbecue, and it was perfect. Alas, when my husband cut the meat, he burst a perfectly cooked cyst the size of a lemon that stank the whole house out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 90

What did you expect?

By Not Marge - 22/11/2025 09:00

Today, my husband is hurt and upset that our daughter legally changed her name the day she turned 18. I had to ask him, as nicely as I could, what the hell he expected when he named her Lisa and her last name is Simpson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 168

Good luck with that, Carol

By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 79

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

Stinky and itchy

By Tetetete - 03/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried out a new fabric softener, thinking it would make my clothes smell like fresh mountain air. Turns out I’m allergic to it. I’m now covered in hives and smell like a pine-scented car air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 102

Time is on my side

By Old soul - 25/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I, a person who will be 21 in a few months, was mistaken for my mom's older brother. My mom is in her fifties. Apparently this is becoming increasingly common, because the world sucks. I didn't realize it was affecting me this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 159

Experimental cuisine

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I packed my lunch meticulously: salad, sandwich, fruit. Then I put the entire thing in my backpack, on top of what turned out to be a leaky water bottle. By lunch, I was faced with eating a soggy mess of lettuce soup and bread mush. It was not great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 115

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 137

On my butt

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 10:29 - France - Paris

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 91

Wheeler dealer

By htiek - 07/03/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, my wife ripped my head off because my brother-in-law is buying a commercial office building in Moncton and I wasn’t the agent that found him the property. I sell commercial real estate in GTA. I don’t even know where Moncton is on a map. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 118

My kingdom for some peace and quiet!

By Yudith - 08/08/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 109

All alone

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have no friends because I have severe anxiety and severe social anxiety. I thought I had family but as it turns out, my family is trying to get rid of me by sending me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 134

Chilled

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was on a video call with my crush from work. Trying to look totally chill, I leaned back in my chair. The back of chair gave way, so I fell out of frame, and the only thing he saw before I disconnected was my foot in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 220

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 6 669

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 151 618

Random

Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on it due to my make-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 294

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 198

You deserved it 16 147

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 101

You deserved it 8 492

Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtly pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 162

You deserved it 3 528

Today, I've been caffeine-free for 2 weeks. It's turned me into a constipated angry bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 755

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 783