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The all-time greatest FMLs

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 1 109

Out of step

By inexperienced - 19/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm 25. I dropped out of college when I was 19 because I didn't fit in. I was developmentally behind and looked like a fifteen year-old. All of high school I was excluded. I'm back in college now, but everyone still feels more mature than me. I no longer look or act young for my age due to years of stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 237

True believer

By No Prayer for Fools - 24/04/2025 03:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 73

Idiot

By Father of a moron - 04/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 111

Ignorance is bliss

By JasonThorn - 12/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I can't share most of the great things going on in my life with my family, because they will respond with lectures about indulging, or doubt about what is going on, and will refuse to continue talking, or say I am wrong when I speak the verifiable truth. I hate putting my family on information diets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 117

Progress

By This meme isn't funny anymore - 13/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "school after you graduate" meme is true. When I was there, only one of the classrooms had AC. Now they all do. Additionally, a bunch of particularly ineffectual teachers got sacked. I missed out on being around adults with spines and brains and not being cooked alive every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 108

Flu season

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 03:00

Today, without any warning, I projectile vomited all over my laptop. I think I broke my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 93

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 839

Clipper time

By azurekitten - 07/06/2021 07:59

Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 219

I can't win

By abt2bsingle - 13/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 302

On the move

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that not only do I have to move to fucking Miami for my dad's work, but my new school doesn't have a hockey team. My parents won't let me stay behind with my grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 117

Best teeth in the game

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 17/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had to get three teeth pulled. That would've been fine if they were all on the same side of my mouth. Nope, two were on the upper left and one on the bottom right. I kept thinking my upper lip was gauze it was so numb, and I kept drooling like a baby. I've barely been able to eat as it's so sore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 107

Good boy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, someone has been knocking at my back door all day then running away, driving me mad. Turns out, next door has a new dog and the knocking was actually the dog wagging its tail hard against their back door. This means it won’t ever stop, it’s going to keep banging that damn tail forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 116

Tech issues

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I installed an update on my computer and it's decided WiFi doesn't exist at all. Not on my desktop and not in settings. I'm currently bedbound for weeks due to chronic illness and it's my main source of entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 86

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 08:01 - United States - Trenton

Today, while spacing out about my hot male boss, he called my name for something and I replied, "Yes Daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 449

Messy

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 09:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 121

These must be yours

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 122

Weight is just a number

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was proud of going to the gym 3 times a week (instead of once a week) to get in relative shape. I even started doing light cardio and (I thought) started to eat better. I've gained six pounds, despite watching what I eat and even increasing the resistance on the exercise bike that I use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 115

In this economy?

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 190

By boudinette - 15/04/2015 10:14 - France - Saint-martin-d'heres

Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 235

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 167

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 16:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 339

What could go wrong?

By Rebecca - 03/10/2020 23:07

Today, I slipped into an ATM vestibule quickly without a mask. The place smelled like the antiseptic at a doctor's office, so I figured, "What could go wrong?" Not more than 6 hours later, I found out that I’m sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 941

Welcome!

By Vicky - 27/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 91

BDSM FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 17:00 - Australia

Today, I realised I need to grow up when I couldn’t stop laughing throughout a very serious meeting entitled, “Master / Sub Remediation Program.” It’s about electricity meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 795

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 76

Great party

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 212

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 187

It's the thought that counts

By Mommy - 23/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, my toddler proudly presented me a "beautiful drawing" he'd made... on my freshly painted living room wall. When I started to scold him, he said, "But I made it for YOU, Mommy!" Now I feel guilty for being mad at Picasso Jr, and having to paint over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 176

Don't attempt this

By jammy - 25/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 294

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 81

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 023

You deserved it 4 915

Random

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 506

You deserved it 5 313

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 164

You deserved it 2 466

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 555

You deserved it 14 041

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 593

You deserved it 64 769

Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 282

You deserved it 574

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 130