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That thing you do

By Here we go - 14/02/2026 12:00

Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 78

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 107

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 116

Manchild

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 78

I'm out

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end my engagement after my fiancé agreed to let several of his obnoxious family members move in without even asking me. He says 'family over everything' but what does that make me? To make matters harder, I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 52

Red tape

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after spending 40 minutes on the phone with an IRS agent to change my address, and after she asked me how to spell Reno, then she put Reno as a state. and Nevada as a city. She’s not able to help me because my address does not exist and now I have to send in the paper form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 57

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 153

Take a look at this shit

By Sara - 13/03/2026 15:00

Today, I went to the doctor for advice on the horrid diarrhea problem I have, because I go every thirty minutes. Luckily, I had two very big stool samples to give my doctor when I got there. Why? Due to slow drivers and hitting ALL the red lights, it took an hour to get to the doctor's. Life sure is good when it's easygoing, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 70

Music is noise

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, during a first date, we somehow got onto the topic of music, and I admitted I’d never listened to one of his favorite albums all the way through. He stared at me like I’d admitted I couldn’t read. The rest of dinner became a passionate TED Talk about artistic genius while I nodded in silence and ate fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 64

Square one

By Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 152

Never gonna happen

By Fuck the rich - 23/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my dad explained to me that it's actually a "good thing" that we have a trillionaire in America now, because he builds rockets, and those are cool or something. WEALTH. TAX. NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 291

Priorities

By L - 01/03/2026 12:00

Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 79

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 68

You had a choice

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I had no choice but to break up with my fiancee because my son absolutely despised her, no matter what I try to do, made me choose either her or him. I'll always choose him, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 172

Glow up

By Ciana - 23/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my ex, who physically and emotionally abused me, is in a happy marriage. His new wife is glowing and they have a kid, with another on the way. So basically, he was capable of being a Prince Charming who could give another woman her happily ever after, just not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 134

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 142

It's not a phase… or maybe it is

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, we found out my niece has been faking all her issues in order to keep up her “damaged, beautiful disaster” online persona. She went too far and ended up on a 72hr hold. Now she’s screaming, crying, and begging to come home because the hospital is “too scary.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 91

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 09:00

Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 190

Triggered

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 60

Korma is a bitch

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 20:00

Today, my favourite Indian restaurant, the one restaurant I’ll willingly sit inside instead of getting a takeaway, was shut down. Turns out they were dealing drugs from the back door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 81

In big 2026?

By Brainrot Blues - 13/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I work at a craft store. One of the things we sell are wooden numbers. If I had a dollar for every time a random kid took all the 6's and 7's and lined them up across the floor, forcing me to stop what I'm doing in order to go put them back, I'd probably have more than $67. It's an almost daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 60

Related by blood

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 03:00

Today, via Ancestry, I learned I am distantly related to my boss. Did it bring us closer? Did it buggery. My boss is a vindictive harpy at the best of times and now she knows we share a great-great-grandmother, she hates me even more because “my side of the family blah blah blah…” FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 88

Cash out crashout

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I applied for a 0% balance transfer credit card to switch my balance. The application crashed at the last stage and now I've been told I might not get the same limit, plus my credit score is affected if I apply again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 81

Valentine is dead

By Anonymous - 17/02/2026 00:00

Today, for Valentine's Day, my husband spent all day promising me romance and a good dicking. Instead, his boss hit him with emergency overtime, our romance was defrosted lasagna, and he fell asleep during the dicking so I had to crawl out from under him and watch TV alone. I hate his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 81

Father figure

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 62

Witch's brew

By Anonymous - 19/03/2026 20:00

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to have sex while she’s on her period. She kept half-whispering, half-moaning weird phrases I didn’t understand. After some googling, it roughly translated to “Bound in blood. Together forever bound by blood.” I think she tried to hex me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 114

Beyond parody

By Anonymous - 17/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I had the supreme mega ultra final bosses of Karens. I knew I was cooked when they approached my brunch bar. I didn’t ID them because they were all very obviously 35+. They took immense offense to this and demanded to speak to my manager. They told on me for doing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 84

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 00:00 - Switzerland - Klingnau

Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 73

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 84

Magic!

By Floppy arm - 08/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my nephew asked if I wanted to see a magic trick. I humored him and let him give it a go. He covered my phone with a blanket, counted to three, and revealed that it had "disappeared." The little genius had dropped it into a fish tank while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 89

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The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 5 106

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 516

You deserved it 4 037

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 4 327

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 4 330

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 227

Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 128