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Cost effective

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 15:00

Today, I got into yet another fight with my wife because I keep telling her Los Angeles is too expensive and that we need to move somewhere cheaper. But she won't listen. She keeps saying all these high prices are going to blow up in the government's faces. I agree, they probably are, but when? Tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 68

They don't make em as they used to

By Kylie - 22/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 148

Private stuff

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 90

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 66

Make it happen (RIP)

By Dyne mk.III - 02/11/2025 00:00

Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 101

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 515

I'll just order an Uber…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 207

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 182

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 89

I'm out

By tired af - 25/01/2026 20:00

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 71

Love hearts, love hurts

By Suzyy - 14/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is traveling to his terminally ill grandmother's for Valentine's Day weekend. He said he "doesn't know if she'll pass soon; gotta visit her just in case." He gave me a box of chocolate-coated strawberries to make up for it. I'm allergic to strawberries, and he has known this for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 131

It's all in the game

By and then drunk dialed me - 05/04/2026 03:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, after seven months of my supporting him, including paying all the bills, cleaning the house, and cooking, my unemployed "aspiring rapper" boyfriend finally got paid for his music. Did he buy me something nice? No, he called his boys to hit the club and pissed away everything he'd earned and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 307

Retail work hell

By Sheila2004 - 19/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 98

Don't give up

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't think our marriage was going to survive our stillbirth, and that we should get divorced. He said, "No way. We're going to marriage and grief counseling and not giving up on our marriage." He just doesn't understand that I blame myself so much and want to set him free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 299

I'm fine, I'm OK

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 22:00

Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 62

Who is this and what do you want?

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, out of nowhere, several spam calls started calling my cellphone number. Every single one of them about health insurance. I didn't know why they were calling me or how they got my number. After a bit of questioning, it turns out my dumb dad used my name and cellphone number while trying to look for info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 72

I wanna go home

By "Anonymous survey" my ass - 04/06/2026 07:00 - Brazil - Itajaí

Today, I got written up at work. Apparently, "Going fully remote" is not an answer to "How can we be more sustainable at work and help save the planet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 72

Heartless

By Out of Pocket to all! - 12/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was reminded of my ex who works and now lives in Manama, Bahrain. How? My sister and her in-laws called me a heartless dick for not being worried about her. We broke up 15 years ago, she's a pediatrician and an OB-GYN, and the ONLY reason why they care is because they used to get free services and meds from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 90

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 87

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I’m what they call “first world poor.” I own a phone and a laptop paid for with credit, and every time I use them it’s to check my emails to see all my new job application rejections, and to check my bank so I can watch my savings dwindling away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 100

He hath returned

By Come to think of it.... it does! - 09/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 104

Bad joke, dude!

By Peterrulesall - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 3 481

Recruitment hell

By Unemployedloser - 07/06/2026 18:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I had a job interview and the interviewer assumed that since I'm short, I wouldn't be able to take the garbage out. Yesterday I had another interviewer call me a loser for being a stay-at-home mom. I'm gonna be unemployed forever it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 71

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 02:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 72

Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 75

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my moms are driving me mad. My biological mom, a therapist, keeps telling me I need to try new things because life is short. My non-biological mom, a doctor, keeps telling me everything new I want to try has health risks that will shorten my life even further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 73

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 135

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 144

High potential

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 84

Never felt more lonely

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 256

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 674

You deserved it 2 833

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 587

You deserved it 14 780

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 416

You deserved it 40 101

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 770

You deserved it 8 425

Today, I got the letter from the IRS that would FINALLY enable me to get the tax return I was supposed to get two weeks ago because they needed to confirm my identity. I logged on, entered the information, and was told that I would get my return… after "up to 9 weeks for processing." I need to pay bills NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 185

Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 82