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A bit late for that

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I slipped on the wet floor of a café, spilled coffee all over myself, and fell flat on my back. The barista ran over, not to help me, but to put up a bright yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” sign next to me while I was still laying there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 99

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 123

Support needed

By Rick - 04/04/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, when I tried to talk about how I feel insecure, my fiancee ranted about how supportive she always is of me. Her idea of supportive is to say, "Oh, you'll be fine! You're amazing!", then get back on her phone or turn up the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 96

Buddy boy

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 09:00

Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 51

I'm never going to live this down

By BubbleBladeBunz - 01/09/2025 15:00

Today, there's no door between the bathroom and bedroom. So far we've managed all number 2 s(h)ituations without trouble, but I'm on my period, which comes with period poops. He usually sleeps like the dead. I was mid-evacuation of a multi-missile launch when he sat up, wide awake, eye contact, grin on his face. "Hah! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE FIRST!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 110

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 443

Competitive

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 22:00

Today, my husband has such a fragile ego that he secretly visited an escape room five times in the two months before 15 of us went as a group, all so that he would know all the answers in advance and impress everyone. He’d have managed it too, except he paid with our credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 67

Public spectacle

By Veronica - 22/10/2025 15:00

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 83

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 347

Here we go again

By Change my number - 07/10/2025 20:00

Today, I discovered that my direct work number is Googleable to the public. This was brought to my attention when my extremely toxic ex called me wanting to rekindle our dead relationship. I just have to ignore the ankle monitor, continued addiction issues, and police charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 63

Must stay productive

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 70

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 15:00 - China - Guangzhou

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 82

In this economy?

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 188

Lemons

By Leah Magers - 29/12/2025 22:00

Today, my husband and I were finally about to put our house on market because we have killed our savings on moving and two mortgages for the past couple of months. Then the pipes burst. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 60

Wheeler dealer

By htiek - 07/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, my wife ripped my head off because my brother-in-law is buying a commercial office building in Moncton and I wasn’t the agent that found him the property. I sell commercial real estate in GTA. I don’t even know where Moncton is on a map. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 114

Toxic workplace

By Keerah - 31/08/2025 13:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at work, I wondered: What's worse than a psychotic, gaslighting supervisor with his classic "You are worthless!" and "I never said/did that!" and other variations? A combination of said character with an autistic employee who panics at every such situation to the brink of peeing themself. I hate being that employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 127

Never do this

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 15:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 443

Where am I?

By I hate myself - 21/06/2025 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 101

Stop staring

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - China - Suzhou

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 124

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 67

Ashes to ashes

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 125

Thanks, Canada!

By Cough Cough - 06/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

Today, just like every other day, I live in the Midwest. If you're not living in the Midwest, and you're wondering how we're doing with the Canadian wildfire smoke, I'm here to tell you that we're quite miserable. Especially if you're me, a person who already has very janky lungs. I'm afraid to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 104

Wax on, wax off

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 102

Toxic workplace

By Fuck off Jim - 20/11/2025 09:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for drinking Kombucha at work, swearing it was "fancy Asian beer." I went to HR with the bottle and they dismissed the write up, since they saw sense and realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 68

Just doing my part

By Jimmy - 29/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I biked to work to save gas money and also to be as eco-friendly as I could. A freak April hailstorm pelted me so hard that my helmet cracked. Local news called it “just another Monday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 116

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 131

Right on time

By Debz - 29/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 113

Probably

By Brittany - 12/01/2026 22:00

Today, I caught my husband making out with our nanny. I had hired her in the first place because I didn’t see her as a threat. She’s 19 year-old chubby girl with glasses. Is he out of his goddamn mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 282

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 230

Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

By Rizuki_Tsurai - 02/04/2025 06:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 1 524

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 159

You deserved it 7 688

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 979

You deserved it 3 337

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 543

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 590

Today, I had a Zoom meeting with co-workers. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and it was early in the morning, so I was super tired. I dozed off and my head hit the keyboard’s space bar. Apparently, this feature allows the mic to unmute itself. The entire group heard my snoring. I woke up unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 1 100