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Triggered

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 58

Scaffolding?

By NervousDog - 25/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 76

Broken promises

By Perky_p!nk - 19/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got a message from a woman who reached out to me to let me know that my boyfriend is going behind my back and getting on dating sites and apps, begging women, or at least her, for sex, and to meet up with him in our fucking apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 77

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 161

I'm fine, I'm OK

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 22:00

Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 62

I'll just order an Uber…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our third date went so well, we went straight back to her place, tearing each others clothes off. It was only afterwards I noticed what a shithole her house was. Clothes and mess everywhere, broken furniture, overflowing cat litter boxes. I could even smell her unwashed bedsheets on my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 197

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 178

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 84

Socialite

By Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 147

I'm real!

By DianaSeventeen - 07/09/2025 09:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents and siblings for the first time. Their first reaction was, "Oh? You're her? All this time we thought you're some cartoon character from yet another lousy anime he keeps babbling about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 57

Korma is a bitch

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 20:00

Today, my favourite Indian restaurant, the one restaurant I’ll willingly sit inside instead of getting a takeaway, was shut down. Turns out they were dealing drugs from the back door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 80

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 22:00

Today, my parents, who always bitch that they don't see me enough since we live in different states, completely ignored me during their early Thanksgiving visit and used me as a free hotel for my younger siblings. I maybe spent four hours with them during their three day stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 83

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 22:00

Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 79

Needy

By Arnold - 21/10/2025 09:00

Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 198

Knackered

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 20:00

Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 62

Nervous

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 160

Names and faces

By Steve Froemming - 20/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I hate when I go out and I forget peoples' names; even though they know me and I know them, I forgot their name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 91

Are you OK?

By Louis - 05/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, a colleague said I looked “different” and I thought it was a compliment. It turns out they meant that I looked “tired and stressed.” I smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks?” while internally dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 87

He hath returned

By Come to think of it.... it does! - 09/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 101

Enjoy it while it lasts, bucko

By Employed - 25/05/2025 05:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, during an argument, my boyfriend had the nerve to tell me he'll make more than me at his new job that he starts next week. He can't keep a job for more than six months. I've been working at my job for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 106

Well played, Deborah

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 02:00

Today, my bitch ex has successfully trained our daughter to refer to her second husband as “Dad” and me as Mister, or Sir, or even by my first name a few times. This has to be abuse of some kind, mental anguish, cruel and unusual bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 91

Some fans take it too far

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I finally figured out what two kids in my neighborhood have been yelling for what seems like the past month. I don't know where they are exactly, so my efforts to get them to knock it off has almost made me go insane, all from hearing them yell "CHICKEN JOCKEY!" over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 70

Sociopaths

By piggies - 07/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 350

A for Effort, but…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to balloons, streamers, and my roommates yelling “SURPRISE!” Unfortunately, they got the wrong day. My birthday is next week, and now I'll probably have to pretend to be surprised again in seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 99

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 128

Healthy living

By Sean - 27/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it's my second week of living with my ex. The first week or so, her brother's kid gave me and my kids a bacterial infection. I almost died, I swore to live in my car. I lasted 7 days of no real sleep, then ended up almost dying from heat-related illness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 178

Honey, I'm home!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 89

Let it go

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 20:00

Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 74

Twisted

By no vacation then I guess - 20/11/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 116

Taste test

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 20:00

Today, I noticed my boyfriend tasted different than normal so he got a doctor's appointment, which is where he discovered he has a yeast infection under his foreskin. Yuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 124

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The Top

Today, I was at a bar. When asked if I wanted a refill of my coffee, I said yes, and moved the cup from my lap to the counter. As I did this, the waitress spilled hot coffee right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 285

You deserved it 3 267

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 112

You deserved it 1 247

Today, I was riding my scooter and humming a tune while doing so. It happened to be the tune you hear at weddings. I got married to the garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 762

Today, my boyfriend, and father of my son, announced that he’s leaving me for my best friend. His reasoning is that he feels bad that she’s a single mom. When I pointed out that by him leaving me, I’ll also be a single mom, he responded with, "But at least she has her pre-pregnancy body back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 176

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 787

You deserved it 349

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 103