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By SummerTime98 - 27/10/2009 05:44 - Canada

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 64 728

Small world, eh?

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 06:00

Today, my husband is in the garden smashing a tree stump with a sledgehammer because our 22 year-old daughter brought her first serious boyfriend home. He’s my husband's boss, a man-whore who has been bragging about all the nasty stuff his new girlfriend does to him in bed, unaware of who her dad was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 126

By desbuhbear - 27/08/2015 17:50 - United States - Harrogate

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 110

You deserved it 1 975

desbuhbear tells us more.

desbuhbear 22

Saturday 29 August 2015 6:32

Hey guys! Op, here. I didn't think this would get published! Thanks for all your comments. They made me feel better and definitely made me laugh! Just to follow up a bit, I'm no longer taking that medication and I have a neurologist appointment soon to see if they can help me with the pain! Thanks again!

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 549

You deserved it 6 581

By picklet - 12/05/2012 14:36 - Malaysia - Kajang

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 4 547

God friended me

By fmlimoverit - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 3 762

Tracking

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 721

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 994

You deserved it 6 445

MVP

By anonymous - 10/09/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 094

You deserved it 3 374

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 22:09 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 250

You deserved it 3 393

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 529

You deserved it 747

By tbalboa - 01/07/2011 17:27 - United States

Today, a cop pulled me over and started bitching me out. He was certain I'd been drinking, because, "Nobody goes to Albertacos this late at night unless they're drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 770

You deserved it 3 292

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 568

You deserved it 82 961

As a treat

By Username - 28/06/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 110

You deserved it 4 733

Rough

By vela9002 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me, and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men," he said, "Oh yeah, me too, I really like buff guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 981

You deserved it 13 889

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 350

You deserved it 5 950

By averagemom4days - 07/09/2016 02:45 - United States - Roosevelt

Today, I spent a ridiculous amount of time working and reworking a design for a client. Eight hours and many tears later, she sends an email saying, "Let's go with the first design. I liked that one the most." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 074

You deserved it 1 035

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 564

You deserved it 80 770

By carwife - 21/08/2010 04:13 - Canada

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 7 653

By Beast - 30/03/2013 06:57 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 3 871

Good one, dad

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 486

You deserved it 4 286

Stuck on Amber

By 1234567898765432 - 27/03/2009 16:47 - Canada

Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 719

You deserved it 6 132

By imok - 07/10/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 435

You deserved it 53 667

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 473

You deserved it 9 360

By kha - 24/03/2009 10:18 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 15 169

WTF VHS?

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 04:02 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 1 025

By war_monkey - 10/04/2014 12:20 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 768

You deserved it 4 278

war_monkey tells us more.

war_monkey 6

Friday 11 April 2014 0:55

It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.