The Top

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Love is…

By manderz? - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 621

You deserved it 1 144

Trippin'

By tammyg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 654

You deserved it 6 350

Knock out

By don't rub it in bitch - 13/05/2026 16:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I saw a friend from college, who I'd cut ties with after her much older boyfriend convinced her to drop out of college and marry him. She looks amazing and has two beautiful kids, while I'm a struggling obese single mom. She said, "The hoe phase really worked out for you, I see." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 101

Don't give up

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't think our marriage was going to survive our stillbirth, and that we should get divorced. He said, "No way. We're going to marriage and grief counseling and not giving up on our marriage." He just doesn't understand that I blame myself so much and want to set him free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 217

Mother's Day is sacred

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to a note from my wife, saying that since I spent Father's Day golfing, she booked herself a spa day, so I could take care of our 4 kids and the house like she does every day. She ignored every single one of my calls and didn't even tell me what spa she went to. What mother does that to her family? FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 815

Genius, huh?

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 12:00 - Australia

Today, after pulling an all-nighter on an essay, I submitted it one minute before the deadline and felt like a genius. Later, I reopened the file and discovered I'd uploaded the rough draft instead of the final version. The last line ended with “fix this later,” which was not my finest academic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 184

Consolation Prize

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 41

Benefits

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 20:00 - Poland

Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 28

Cashier 4U

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at a busy register, I greeted a customer, started scanning items, and only halfway through realized they were on their phone with earbuds in and had not actually been talking to me. I got flustered, scanned the same item twice, and had to call over a manager while the line behind them got longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 836

You deserved it 2 937

Today, I took my new girl out on a date after work. Ten minutes later, my ex-wife, her new boyfriend and my daughter showed up at the same restaurant and decided a double date would be fun. My ex lives an hour away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 454

You deserved it 178

Today, the friend I recommended for a job at my workplace is getting fired for being one of the worst people they have ever hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 343

You deserved it 858

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 56

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 600

You deserved it 2 672

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 139