The Top

Hey guys! Op, here. I didn't think this would get published! Thanks for all your comments. They made me feel better and definitely made me laugh! Just to follow up a bit, I'm no longer taking that medication and I have a neurologist appointment soon to see if they can help me with the pain! Thanks again!

By hanzastfu - 26/10/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 9 342

Tracking

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 2 729

By Brinty - 24/10/2009 04:26 - Australia

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 502

You deserved it 3 571

Call the cops

By pleasekillme - 19/04/2013 11:44 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, it's been over three months since my housemates ended their one month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 159

You deserved it 4 473

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 533

You deserved it 747

By mhm - 06/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Woodbridge

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 537

You deserved it 37 491

Ivy league

By WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 6 283

By that makes me a sad panda - 19/05/2014 21:44 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my landlord's control issue got out of control when I got a call telling me I have "too much stuff" and have to move out of the apartment. I sold all my furniture when I moved in and all I currently own is a scratch post, a chair and a pair of curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 945

You deserved it 4 112

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 571

You deserved it 8 493

By moosy0_o - 07/04/2013 19:22 - Netherlands - Berlicum

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 066

You deserved it 8 489

moosy0_o tells us more.

moosy0_o 15

Monday 8 April 2013 9:31

OP here. A few comments: the cashier was a guy, not a girl. I don't know why most of you think that. Also, there were two elderly people waiting in line who were laughing and berating me as some of the commenters here are doing. And I'm a woman from Belgium, not the Netherlands (but FML didn't ask for my country when I posted it). I WAS already out of the store and going home when I noticed it, so I needed to go back into the store, wait for a slow customer to pay while the rest of the cue was wondering why I was standing there like a complete idiot, and then explain to the cashier why I wanted to pay for the bread. By the way, the freshly baked, honestly-payed-for, Italian bun was delicious, after I had cleansed my palate from the disgusting comments I received.

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 918

You deserved it 3 727