By Username - 14/08/2011 07:16 - United States
The Top
By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista
By marcranger - 11/08/2014 23:40 - United States - Denver
marcranger tells us more.
Confused
By caseyl - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
caseyl tells us more.
Finland. Can't blame the education, my friend is the kind that chooses to forget everything after passing the exams...
By ClutchJunkie - 05/12/2016 15:44
By whiskey'swino - 09/06/2019 14:19
By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 04:04 - United States
rd_less_traveled tells us more.
hey everyone. I'm the ball kicker. To clear up a few things. 1-how i kicked his balls: My foot was halfway off the ground and i was bumped into causing me to stumble and landing my foot in his crotch. 2-why he went to the e.r: I was wearing steel toe boots (hindsight, not a good idea. but i had to go to work after class and i drop things on my feet alot and i work in a storage area. shit is heavy) 3-why i couldn't stop myself from kicking him: I have no answer for this. It was a horrible moment and I have yet to stop saying sorry. 4-how he is doing: there was no major damage to the actual testicles, but his inner thigh is bruised. In other words, he's fine. 5-he does forgive me and we went our first date the other night. and 6-about the asshole who ran into me: karma. thanks for all the advice, comments and other stuff that was said. Some of you guys are hilarious and it makes me feel better for the horrible incident.
Uber awkward
By nitrok - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00
Where am I?
By anonymus - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto
Timing
By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 06:42 - United States - San Francisco
By Username - 14/07/2019 20:00
Egg mode
By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 02:00
By ShowerGirl - 30/04/2013 07:54 - United States
Not so white lie
By mintyfresh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Leave it
By caleighrossi - 16/06/2014 00:21 - United States - Ottumwa
By revan546 - 26/04/2013 13:23 - United States - Hillsborough
revan546 tells us more.
Hi guys, OP here. Yeah I've been a vegetarian for a few years and my friend finally decided to call me out on it. I think i died a little inside when i heard it haha. He eventually did admit that he was wrong and we're still friends and whatnot. Common sense isn't so common nowadays though is it.
By Aprilfools - 12/04/2009 10:47 - United States
About that raise…
By onlyolivia - 05/10/2016 14:43 - United States - Elkridge
But… why?
By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States
That one weird kid
By Laura - 27/05/2014 15:58 - United States
Simmer down, dad
By QQQ - 20/05/2014 17:27 - United States
Mr Selfish
By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 11:00
By jobless - 08/09/2016 18:18 - Canada - Sherwood Park
Dad joke
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States
Attraction
By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States
By Mikey832 - 09/08/2010 13:24 - United Kingdom
Eyes on the prize
By tatatest - 06/04/2012 03:02 - United States - Casselberry
By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence
By KatieB - 04/04/2012 21:11 - United Kingdom - Newark
Keywords
Hey all, OP here! Glad to see I made some of you laugh...I wish I could say the same about my cousin, his wife, and my aunt and uncle (the proud first-time grandparents)! At least my dad, who I was staying with for this event (I live up in the mountains, but this was in Denver), laughed his ass off when everyone else was out of earshot and said he honestly felt the same way (and since I was a baby once...thanks, Dad?). Oh, well. At the very least, I think the new parents will avoid me like the plague at future gatherings, even ones specifically planned to honor the new addition (oops), and this might get my relatives to back off about when exactly I'm making my own contribution to the family line.