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By Mrs. Teacher - 18/09/2012 00:21 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 744

You deserved it 23 535

By picaru - 21/06/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 544

You deserved it 5 343

Bad time for a joke

By Demotivation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 302

You deserved it 12 854

By groom - 20/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 472

You deserved it 6 029

By humorizer - 12/09/2012 08:44 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 2 381

humorizer tells us more.

humorizer 14

Wednesday 12 September 2012 21:39

^ Yard sale. My parents always complain that I hoard too much junk (they never get the idea behind why I have so many different controllers for my NES, SNES, Genesis, N64, Wii, PS3, Xbox, Xbox 360, etc)... and demand that I throw away all the controllers and only keep "one or two since that's all you need". And don't get me started on chargers... they think all I need is one single charger to take care of my multitude of laptops and game consoles and cameras... So when they see a 'worthless picture frame' (which I believe had an image of the Bronte sisters as the default on the lock screen the last time I saw it), they think they're doing me a favor by getting me money by selling a 'picture frame [I] just leave laying around on the floor'.

QAnon weirdoes

By my kid! - 24/10/2020 23:02 - United States

Today, some idiot with a #saveourchildren shirt followed me around a store. When I finally asked the fucker what their problem was, they started screaming, asking why I was holding hands with black children that obviously didn’t belong to me. I’m white. Their mom is black. They’re my kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 149

By off-balance - 16/01/2016 15:00 - Finland

Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 003

You deserved it 1 432

By mom2010 - 15/12/2010 15:07 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me that he doesn't think cheating is a big deal because everybody does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 027

You deserved it 3 939

By Mayo - 04/12/2018 13:30

Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 460

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 09/01/2016 03:20 - Canada

Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 288

You deserved it 1 824

By Becca_Jo - 06/01/2016 04:19 - United States - Caledonia

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 082

You deserved it 1 656

In through the out door

By NeedTea - 21/12/2018 12:00 - United States

Today, I stopped at Starbucks to get tea before work and was surprised that there wasn't a line. As I was leaving, the automatic door closed, knocking my tea out of my hand. I headed back in, only to discover a huge line had formed and they made me pay for the replacement that their door spilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 802

By TraumatizedMother - 02/10/2011 07:27 - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 10 334

Beach bum

By YouSoSmelly - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Kannapolis

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 189

You deserved it 12 338

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 009

You deserved it 93 022

By Vomit - 17/12/2018 05:00

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 209

Neat

By moms know best??? - 27/07/2013 21:41 - Canada - Morinville

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 906

You deserved it 4 664

By Soninuva - 25/12/2015 03:37 - United States - Mcallen

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 925

You deserved it 1 747

Soninuva tells us more.

Soninuva 41

Saturday 26 December 2015 1:51

OP here. It wasn't a mistake, I was getting ready and they said they were leaving. I told them to wait, and they said they wouldn't, as they were already late. Ordinarily I am very punctual, to the point of being early everywhere. I wasn't that day, because the time had been moved, and nobody told me. Originally it was going to be at 6:00 pm, and they moved it to 3:00 pm. They didn't wake me until 2, and didn't tell me that it had been changed until they were saying to hurry up a few minutes before. I was asleep because in addition to being a substitute, I work at Toys R Us, so even though I'm off for one job, the other is stronger than ever. The days leading up to it I had worked two fifteen hour days, then the night before an eight hour one, where I got out around 1:30 am. My dad came back after 15 minutes, so it ended up working out alright, but I was mad as hell.