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Hey everyone, I'm the OP, not sure if this will work as a follow-up since I wasn't logged in when I posted this, but I'm going to try and explain further anyway. First off, I want to say that this is wouldn't have happened IF my debit card worked, since my mum could just complete a bank transfer. For the people saying that this is a bluff - we are a very healthy family and only eat organic food, which gets spoiled quickly (I am also on a strict diet because of health issues and can only eat certain foods). I borrowed some money from classmates as school is still going, so I should survive the week. #4 My neighbors didn't though

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 668

You deserved it 8 797

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 849

You deserved it 2 969

How could you?

By Ashlee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 288

You deserved it 7 923

Dead wrong

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 08:08

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 588

By Anonymous - 10/04/2016 11:41 - United States - Bronx

Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 662

You deserved it 1 952

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 102 986

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 526

You deserved it 3 852

By FamilySecret - 29/01/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 945

You deserved it 4 833

The bed is lava

By for better or for farts - 06/08/2020 23:01

Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 461

You deserved it 213

By estrelladam - 08/03/2016 20:52 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father complained to me about his lack of money. He makes twice as much as me, and doesn't pay rent, electricity or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 767

You deserved it 1 296

estrelladam_fml tells us more.

estrelladam_fml 1

Friday 11 March 2016 21:04

Hi, it's OP there. I'd like to give you more details because I always like to know what's behind a story. I didn't register before today, and in fact never thought i'd be published. My father doesn't live with me, fortunately. He lives in a house divided in two. The other half is occupied by his brother, who pays the bills (and isn't very happy about it!). He is retired and has no debt. He doesn't pay for the house insurance either, and managed to get his taxes lowered, though he still complains about it. He buys a lot of books and newspapers, which is fine for me, because after all, he does what he wants with his money. But I'm bothered because he doesn't pay for anything in the house, which is deteriorating. Every time I try to talk to him about he complains that he has no money and that I don't understand. It's very frustrating for me because I have to pay for myself everything he's not, and I earn far less. Besides, as he lives far from me, I have to pay for travel and accommodation every time I visit him. Well, that's the story behind my FML. Thanks for your comments, some made me laugh

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 363

By con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 014

You deserved it 10 310

con135 tells us more.

con135 12

Tuesday 13 January 2015 15:38

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

As a treat

By Undercooked - 24/09/2013 19:08 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 109

You deserved it 4 782

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 528

You deserved it 3 601

By fired - 17/09/2013 04:36 - United States - Barnesville

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 086

You deserved it 99 122

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 11:07 - United States

Today, I was tending the cash register. I scanned a lady's items which totaled $89.68. She paid with a $100 bill. I gave her $11.32 change. She angrily gave back the extra dollar and complained about "schools nowadays". I'm an AP Calculus student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 50 051

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 12:32 - Netherlands

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 1 910

Just in case

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 07:39 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 432

You deserved it 5 166

By Dumbass - 20/06/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 710

You deserved it 3 745

Gross out

By meg the mighty - 01/12/2018 15:30

Today, it's been three days since my husband decided he really wanted to try the Surströmming Challenge. I can still smell that shit all through my house, even with all the doors and windows open after the stupid bastard took one smell, vomited, and dropped the can on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 504

You deserved it 294

By Sad preggo - 24/01/2017 14:00

Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 749

You deserved it 778

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 190

You deserved it 2 042

By Just_Me_88 - 18/08/2012 05:09 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 358

You deserved it 3 581

Just_Me_88 tells us more.

Just_Me_88 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 3:02

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.

By Satan's Lil elf - 14/01/2019 14:00

Today, I broke my mirror off going to the drive-through at McDonald's. Even the cashier watching was like, "Fuck, dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 1 906