By UsedForSurgery - 28/10/2017 01:30
The Top
By deuceaddict - 03/11/2017 21:00
Comedy gold
By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States
By cjw - 06/03/2013 00:07 - United States
By cjd - 23/03/2012 14:23 - Canada - Montreal
By ENDmySUFFERING - 21/07/2016 15:25 - United Kingdom - Southampton
By Grosssss - 15/07/2016 16:08 - United States - Harrisonburg
Mr Burns
By ScarletBuckeye - 09/07/2016 16:38
But he's only 5
By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00
Milking it
By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/06/2016 06:11
Be careful what you wish for
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Frisco
By Jayde - 04/02/2012 05:12 - United States
By LucyLollipop - 16/05/2016 19:16 - United States - Davis
LucyLollipop tells us more.
Channelling GG Allin
By dudeyouarefired - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
By Owww - 10/07/2018 19:00
Mix up
By Trew Love - 03/05/2016 06:25 - Canada - Fort Saint John
By cousin of the groom - 07/08/2018 01:30
By Chipper - 09/08/2018 03:50
By ScratchCatPower - 19/04/2016 19:04 - United States - Trumbull
ScratchCatPower tells us more.
Heyo. OP here! Yes, my parents always told me not to talk with food in my mouth... Haha. Though in this instance, since I always thank my bus driver, I figured I should just thank him despite the fact that I had a mouthful of candy. Didn't turn out the way I expected. Also, very true, #2. I probably should have savored it. Alas! The candy! Tis lost forever, a true tragedy indeed. ;-;
Kinky
By huskynick - 18/06/2020 05:05
By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 13:43 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 20:30
Sore
By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 20:01
Thanks!
By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States
Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?
By ET. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
Hello?
By SBae - 14/03/2016 15:49 - United States - Uniontown
And they same romance is dead…
By celticschick - 31/08/2020 16:59
Empathy
By m0r0n - 24/09/2020 01:17 - United States - Cleveland
m0r0n tells us more.
My first FML ever published, thank you! I did have extreme empathy for the patient, I held his hand and told him how sorry I was. I had recently been divorced after leaving a 17 year marriage, to an alcoholic, only to be diagnosed with breast cancer a few months after. I don't think I'm unattractive, I just seem to get the wrong kind of attraction. Fast forward, I am now cancer free and maybe someday I'll find that special someone. Thanks for your votes and comments!
By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia
Keywords
Hey guys! OP here, thought I'd add to the fun. So, I live in a dorm-like building. I rent a room and share the kitchen, bathroom, living area, etc. It sucks, but it's affordable and it's what I've got till my car is reliable enough to move farther from my work. This place is off campus though, so the people who live here are more druggies, welfare recipients, and some really weird people, with a couple normal ones in the mix. Also, the walls are paper thin. The neighbor/roommate in question is a 46 year old, toothless guy with no job except for prospecting in the local rivers and streams occasionally. He always keeps his door open, yawns and burps louder than anyone needs to, and plays a lot of music. Including but not limited to "My Heart Will Go On," and the Chippettes' rendition of "Let It Go." Those songs. Every day. Multiple times a day. So I guess I can be grateful he was blasting "All I Want for Christmas is You" instead of the usual, but still. He also likes to watch hentai with the door wide open and the volume up. I honestly don't mind Christmas music when it's Christmas! Except I've been working retail so it's grinding on my nerves more now. Oh well. Thanks for all the sympathy! I loved reading all the comments, they've made my lunch break a little more interesting.