By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft
The Top
By Anonymous - 24/10/2018 14:00
One weird technique
By NotYourTracy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis
By Username - 10/10/2011 03:30 - United States
By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia
By drew the short straw - 15/12/2018 13:30
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
Tipsy
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville
An FML Photo captioned by hoperpq. Well done!
By hoperpq - 28/02/2017 09:36 - France - Paris
By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville
By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00
By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau
Something smells fishy.
By Anonymous - 19/04/2017 22:00
Move!
By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 19:11 - Italy
Pile on
By BoCoMoGal - 13/05/2017 04:00
By sciencetime - 10/12/2016 11:33
By INside - 02/08/2011 04:52 - United States
So similar
By StillLoveMyDogs - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By smart move there - 16/05/2012 16:10 - Ireland - Naas
By AgentKoos_99 - 11/10/2016 07:52 - South Africa - Johannesburg
By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill
Busted
By douchetard - 26/03/2009 07:37 - United States
By Bg2466 - 15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh
Carded B.
By Anonymous - 20/09/2019 12:00
Busted
By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States
TOO SOON
By tipsyone - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Malmö
tipsyone tells us more.
OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!
By Anonymous - 08/11/2017 19:00 - United States
Loyalty card
By fuck you sis - 12/10/2019 16:00
Keywords
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)