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Friends for life

By Esther - 25/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 175

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 121

That's capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 04:59

Today, I went to see three houses to buy. For the past year I've been trying, but investors swoop in and buy the house cash to turn around and rent it. I just want my first actual home for my family, but one of the houses I was going to put an offer on already has a cash offer on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 113

Set up

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 16:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I got set up to go to prom with my friend, her man, and his twin brother. The twin I was set up with has decided to start talking to me over text, and proceeds to make racist jokes and acknowledges the full-on racism. My friend who's going with the brother? She's black. I'm stuck a whole night with this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 125

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 15:00

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, whom I just signed a year lease, broke up with me, exactly a week after my best friend's funeral in my last year of college. I can't afford to live in our apartment alone. I'm going to have to drop out and move in with my sister states away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 152

Uranus

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my body couldn't seem to decide whether I had constipation or diarrhea, so it decided to split the difference by making me push my turd out painfully for ten minutes, then let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 75

The more the merrier

By ._. - 01/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 487

Forever alone

By Perry Winkle - 03/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, all I wanted was to spend some time with my husband, since we're always very busy. He couldn't be bothered to put down his video game. Guess I'm forever alone, even in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 155

Addicted to mid

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 00:00

Today, the Gen Z at the office introduced me to this book series from "#booktok." I thought why not, and i just read it. I ended up reading all three books in a week and obsessing over the series while the Gen Z didn't move past the first one. The series isn't even that good, but I'm stuck now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 337

Fun times

By jfjfjdh - 10/05/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 140

Everything must go

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 126

Nasty

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 22:00

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 102

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 856

You deserved it 1 865

Beater

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a private dealer my parents had recommended. On my way home they called to tell me that their car broke down. They bought it last week from the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 80

Rave on

By Pain - 25/11/2025 22:00

Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 835

Logan?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 00:00

Today, I got scammed and lost thousands of dollars, but my best friend would rather post on Instagram than reply to my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 853

Go team!

By Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 343

Picasso in training

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 176

Talk saucy to me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 20:00

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 388

It's all too much

By Ken Solo - 16/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had a coworker shout profanities at me and say he was going to punch me in the face. HR tells me they have a no tolerance policy, and I needed to stop being passive aggressive. He's the active aggressor with anger problems, but who isn't being reprimand, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 116

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 333

Weight watcher

By depressedkiwi - 15/07/2020 08:01

Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 703

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 419

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 126

Buzzed

By Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 117

I'll give you something to mope about

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired from my low-paying, depression-inducing job. At least now I have a "real reason" to be depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 132

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 215

Bled dry

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 15:00

Today, my ex-husband stopped paying his child support so when I phoned to threaten him with lawyers, he didn’t care. Apparently, he lost his job months ago and has been paying me out of his savings, but now he has absolutely nothing left I can take away from him. Now I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 538

What?

By Anonymous - 23/07/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my hearing is average for a 60-year-old. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 135

Isn't she lovely?

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 12:00

Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 138

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 60

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 011

You deserved it 158 387

Random

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 499

You deserved it 9 697

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 771

You deserved it 46 235

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 335

You deserved it 4 031

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 997

You deserved it 834

Today, I let my best friend know how I feel about him, since I have developed feelings for some time. I let it all out, hyperventilating and crying, yet relieved that I finally got it off my chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I appreciate it and you’re a great friend, but you’re kinda too homely for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 166

Today, a week after my girlfriend of 6 years checked herself into a rehab program 5 hours away, she called me and said I was too much of a toxic enabler and not good for her mental health, so she ended it and I have to move out before she gets home. I was going to propose when she came home. I’m completely broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 135