The Top

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Crushed

By Danielle - 02/08/2020 08:08

Today, I was disassembling a tent after a week of camping when I felt a crunch under my bare foot. I lifted up the tarp I was standing on to find a now squashed mouse. Mice are my favorite animals, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go camping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 542

Fill those slots!

By Anonymous - 05/06/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 123

Tight fit

By Paul - 21/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm having a difficult time in the bedroom. I'm 59 and the 40 year-old hot blonde I'm seeing is so tight, she squeezes me out almost every time she "gets hers." It sucks having to practically start over countless times before I can finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 307

In all my days…

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 08:01

Today, I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown, and poured my heart out to a doctor, who seemed to be well over 60. She looked at me, flabbergasted and said, "I never met anyone with that many problems!" Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 255

Networking

By grant - 07/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 207

Merry Christmas!

By Tree of life - 23/12/2025 03:00

Today, I bought a Christmas tree and carried it up three flights of stairs alone. I finally got it inside, only to realize it was too tall. I tried trimming it, but now it’s crooked, shedding everywhere, and leaning like it gave up on life. I hope the greenish marks on the ceiling won't be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 325

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 639

Don't assume

By Anonymous - 24/01/2023 04:30

Today, after I went to Mexico for its museums, when I try to share my experience with other guys, they all think I went there for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 284

Terms and conditions

By fishyrael - 11/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Gregory

Today, after being slammed with an unexpected ER visit, a $1000 vet bill, and my roommate moving out with 36 hours notice, all in the same month, I just barely had enough money to cover rent. Then a subscription I didn't know I had charged me $310 with zero communication. They won't give my money back. Fuck you, Noom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 156

Move on

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 09:00

Today, I bought a guy I’ve liked for months a Christmas present and expressed how much he meant to me. He said, “Lol, thanks.” He then went on a date with another girl. Apparently, being loving and caring towards guys gets you used and rejected. My lover girl era is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 556

Quiet quitting time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 04:00

Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 125

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 12:00

Today, my dad insists he knows best when it comes to DIY, since he is a big mathematics professor, while I am a mere labourer with dozens of City and Guilds qualifications. He owns one hammer, an unopened screwdriver set, and a wood saw with a broken handle, but sure, he knows better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 83

Love thy neighbour

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 177

My finest hour

By Christine - 01/01/2026 12:00

Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 77

Protect your pipes

By Sam - 03/01/2026 03:00

Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 64

The love boat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 16:30

Today, I boarded my very first cruise, in order to relax and unwind for week-long vacation. However, when I got on the ship, I found out that I get seasick REALLY easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 163

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 22:00

Today, my daughter learned a new phrase: “Sleep Paralysis Demon.” It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining, she sobbed for almost 15 minutes, and that's a very long time when the tears and screaming are constant and without a pause. The neighbours knocked on the door because they were worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 72

Interesting dilemma

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 04:00

Today, I learned that as much as I try to save my money, it always just slips through my fingers. After rent, I got paid $280 yesterday, $85 went out on my gym membership, $95 went out on my internet, $125 went out on my Hello Fresh. I have to choose between half a tank of petrol or breakfast/lunch for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 864

Third wheel

By sammy - 11/01/2026 20:00

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 286

I'll see you in court

By UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 67

Handle with care

By Frankly - 26/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my dad and two of his hunting buddies started a true crime podcast. It's as bad as you can imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 124

Peace offering

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 03:00

Today, after a silly argument, I decided to walk up on my boyfriend naked, but instead of a cute reaction video, I got a video of him yelling at me to grow up, get my ass dressed, and to stop trying to manipulate him while he’s angry at me. The argument was over the Lego we’re building together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 587

Smooth

By Jank - 30/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, on a third and hopefully eventful date, I tried to be smooth and pull out my date's chair for them at a restaurant. I misjudged the distance and ended up pulling the chair out from under them completely, causing them to fall. The rest of the date was spent apologizing profusely. No third base either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 602

Impulse purchase

By Gary - 17/01/2026 03:00

Today, I wanted a Stranger Things flashlight, but I saw they were out of stock at Target so I ordered one on Mercari. The Target website later got more in, so I paid double the original price with shipping included. I’m done online shopping for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 481

Trapped

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized I'm in a horribly toxic marriage. My wife offered to let me sleep in, and my first thought was, "This is a trap, in thirty minutes she'll be yelling at me for being lazy." I tested it. Yup, it was a trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 78

We're on a break

By col - 04/09/2020 01:56

Today, my girlfriend of almost 3 years told me we needed a break, and that we could try again at the end of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 161

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 185

No fun

By Get your kink on - 23/01/2026 03:00

Today, I asked my husband what he'd think of a threesome. He said, "The fun wouldn't be worth the stress, it's a drama bomb waiting to happen." What a bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 661

So lonely

By majestic09 - 17/02/2023 10:00

Today, I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, and I feel like the only person I can talk to who actually listens is my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 167

Work harder

By hank - 06/07/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every time I go out with my friend, we get approached by girls. He’s taken, so he’s offered to be my wingman. Every time the girls find out he’s taken and I'm the single one, they tell us how they were only interested in him. I’m working my ass off trying to improve myself, and these are my results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 147

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 109

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 371

Random

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 690

You deserved it 2 910

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 8 386

Today, my widowed mother told me she's been seeing a guy for the last 5 months. No problem. But now she insists on calling him, "New Daddy." I'm 37 and she lives across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 99

Today, because of my anxiety, which causes me to procrastinate, I left an assignment until the last minute. I got 18/40 and it was a 'must pass' to complete the unit. I don't know whether to just say fuck it and drop out now, or continue and do the final exam for this subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 992

Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 279

Today, I joined a beginners' painting class to finally try a new hobby. I was doing fine until I went to rinse my brush, dunked my entire hand into a cup of blue paint water, then spent the rest of class with one blue hand and a painting that looked like a potato in a storm. The instructor said it had “character,” which I assume was out of sympathy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 94