If you don't want the very rare decent guy, pass him over here.

My wife asks me to call her my slave in bedroom. I’m not comfortable due to the mixed race dynamics, especially with a lot of my family in Louisiana having a questionable and unpleasant history. Sometimes there’s another dynamic which may be why he doesn’t want to treat you like that. If there’s a history somewhere in his past life or family, convictions can make him feel shitty. Kinda about on par with a woman who has been sexually assaulted to ask her partner to simulate sexual assault. Doesn’t make a decent person feel good. Might want to at least ask why, and if something doesn’t feel comfortable, explore alternatives.

Dirty doesn't automatically mean degrading. You can definitely say absolutely filthy stuff that doesn't demean the other person. There's a wide variety of stuff each person is comfortable with sexually, and there's no reason to basically reverse kink-shame anyone simply because they're comfortable with different things than you are.