Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, when going to bed after a night of heavy drinking, my boyfriend told me he was in love with his cousin, and that she’s way prettier than me. Later in the morning, he said it was just "drunk talk." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
christina3466 17
He sounds like such a wonderful person.
foxwasalamb 24
drunk words are sober thoughts
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
RocketmanWelbz 17
Looks like you need a new man
Niedermayer_20 12
Clearly people can't be that pathetic... :-)
jkmcatra 7
One way to avoid that would be to not get in bed with him until you're actually married.
tonyfan00 38
He was drunk! I'm sure he was not aware of what he was saying/doing. Don't get too hung up on it. :-)
Epikatz 22
Why do people always say "if they were drunk, they were telling the truth."? I say stupid, untrue stuff all the time when I'm drunk, because I'm not thinking, because I'm drunk. Alcohol isn't a truth serum.
cherrio27 25
How romantic
SomeHumanBeing 9
Well he was drunk so he probably had no idea what the hell he was saying
Frank_3xxx 6
Marriage is the end of romance. Maybe he just wants your relationship to be like it is forever? Most married couples dont cuddle anymore. Trust me......
rissburns 9
Did you punch him, if he was that drunk he wouldn't remember it anyways
WolfyGrace 24
He's drunk. He probably doesn't mean that, in fact he most likely doesn't even realize what he's saying.