Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, when going to bed after a night of heavy drinking, my boyfriend told me he was in love with his cousin, and that she’s way prettier than me. Later in the morning, he said it was just "drunk talk." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
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Top comments
christina3466 17
He sounds like such a wonderful person.
foxwasalamb 24
drunk words are sober thoughts
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Comments (123)
RedPillSucks 31
Tenderly caress his penis, gently rubbing the shaft. Bend down and slowly brush your hair against it. Breathe your warm breath against it, and as he slowly Comes close to climax, whisper softly to him that Under no circumstances will you ever have sex with him.
ostfaiz 18
wow...revenge
worldclassrager 39
Misspoke? Let's hope so... He's drunk you might be alright
ARetardedSeal 24
Don't let that tear your mind apart
tehdarkness 21
Drunk people always tell the truth; at least now you know.
top_dawg45 10
maybe he was sending u a message that u need to change something about yourself...
doodlebug33 20
Sometimes drunk words are sober thoughts
KatyLarae 13
Drunk people says the darnedest things.
Lily_Rain77 25
to every one using his being drunk as an excuse, drunks are the most honest people on the planet. The truth just isnt always pretty.
Niedermayer_20 12
I agree with the truth is not pretty, but being intoxicated, that part, you can't be serious.
ostfaiz 18
It simply means he loves u but nit ready for marriage, now u need to find out WHY
Sathane 21
Whenever I read FMLs like this I always feel like I'm getting a very one sided short version of the real story. We're supposed to believe this guy must be a real heartless bastard yet you've been with him for a while. I'd like a follow up. More information is needed.
Niedermayer_20 12
Much agreed, there is always two sides too a story lad.