Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, it was insinuated that my only other female co-worker is seeing the guy I'm seeing. He bashes her all the time to me, too. Now, I wonder what he says about me, to her. FML
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Top comments
briedis 0
If you like her the way she is, what's the problem?
shananigans 0
Is it just me, or does anyone else REALLY wish people could post pictures with their FML submissions, because every time I see one of these "I was mistaken for someone of the opposite gender" I get really curious about what the person actually looks like...
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Comments (143)
effmalife 0
so?? and hellz yea first again! but dayum i gotta get off my computer and go to school =p
DemonicFatty 2
u all r idiots. OP is a girl. not a boy.
JacksonCampbell 9
And of course, you're not an idiot at all....
briedis 0
If you like her the way she is, what's the problem?
danyfuckinheatle 0
your gf is a blimp. well I guess that it's mire cushion for the pushin.
JacksonCampbell 9
Blimp? Dude, she's a Zeppelin!
MRSMOJORISIN_fml 0
Omg I love led Zeppelin :)
drewnewton 0
I don't think he means the band
EatUrGreens 20
#118 hurrdurr
AdamRock 2
WELL THEN...
reset_button 0
So you're gay, but haven't realized it yet - what's the problem?
Hong_Kong 0
YDI for having a hulk-az girlfriend. #4 was a hilarious spoof of #2. Props.
T_Young96 13
Dick you are.. Relationship you should never have
hiandbye 0
teheheh DUMP HER
3daysgrace 0
more like, fyck her lyfe :D
Atropos_fml 0
I had to read this like, three times just to get it. But I don't see how it's at all an FML.
ZleveL 0
because the only thing attracted to the poor guy is a mammoth! how could you not see that?
frosting1012 0
ur a reatard
luvtheknot 6
Learn to spell RETARD before you call people one you douche
SadinSherman 16
You shouldn't call people retards or say something is retarded,it's offensive.
lizard399 0
#114 oh geez.. You're ridiculously p.c.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
114- Unless you're calling a mentally handicapped person a retard (which isn't funny and I'd never do that), it's not offensive. The word "retard" means "not functioning properly." No reason to be politically correct about it, there's nothing offensive about it. You're not making fun of mentally handicapped people, just basically saying someone is an idiot.
parism143 28
#133 - No, it's actually more like calling someone 'gay' or a 'fag'. That's terribly offensive to someone who actually /is/ homosexual. You just don't call people that, got it?
Thoureau 0
How can you be sure that they weren't talking about you? I also really don't get why people just openly talk about others like the referred to person is deaf. I guess I might've been guilty of that, but that's still a retarded thing to do.
xtfauthorx 0
Everyones sort of guilty of that your sombrero is very cool btw
BiNeko 12
Maybe because they said it's a girl and OP's NOT a girl...? Just sayin'.
enormouselephant 15
Loved your comment until you wrongly used the term 'retarded'. You're doing what that couple did, blindly talking about others when they could be right in front of you.
0o0o0 9
OP is a girl.
Inspired22 11
This is definitely an FML. Who wants to hear someone trash talk someone they care about? When you care about someone enough, it might as well be you.