Intimacy: Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for...

By Justme - 20/02/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 484

You deserved it 7 440

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Same thing different taste

My husband the shitgibbon

By NotYetThanks - 23/07/2021 00:01

Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 194

Damper

By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 539

You deserved it 6 844

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 11:00

Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 21:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 977

You deserved it 510

Rain check

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to leave for Switzerland for a month, to see my boyfriend whom I haven't seen for over 6 months. Unfortunately, I broke my leg three days ago and I now I need to stay home and get surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 132

Better off

By gimp. - 08/05/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 405

You deserved it 5 278

Bad timing, hun

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00

Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 178

Nice guy

By Twysted91 - 28/12/2014 03:50 - United States - Milford

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 3 211

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 675

You deserved it 497

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 16:00

Today, I just had knee surgery which has put me on crutches for 6 weeks. I fell on my ass after washing my hands after using the bathroom. Ashamed, my boyfriend and father had to pick me up. I destroyed the towel rack, ripping it of the wall. All this pain is now potentially for nothing. It's day 4 post operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 136

MrDanimal 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:14

As soon as you heal up, injure his man parts. I think that's only fair. Then ignore him for six weeks.

rachii 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:12

Sucks to be you. Oh well, find someone who doesn't just want you for sex.

Comments

NadiG7 2

Monday 28 February 2011 16:38

OKAY SO NOW U SEE WHAT HE IS REALLY THERE FOR... SO NOW DUMP THIS YAM BAG AND HEAL BETTER...

scottaldridge 0

Friday 4 March 2011 22:02

too right

WeebleSue 2

Saturday 5 March 2011 22:21

So this is now your EX-boyfriend, right?

McFMLguy2011 0

Monday 7 March 2011 9:22

I hope yuh realize that he only want sex

Wyorebel92 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:48

Good God... leave the bastard!

thetrojandude 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:54

dump him all he wants from u is booty

hall1234 0

Friday 1 April 2011 1:28

break up wit tht dude

mrty55 0

Friday 1 April 2011 4:55

give him a bj to calm his nerves

MistyLazuli 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 14:58

Dump the loser. He clearly doesn't even like u let alone love u & is just using u for sex. (& has someone on the side too by the sounds of it.)

vonne 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:18

asshole

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Today, at work, I have discovered the wonderful feeling of having a paper cut, with metal, under your nail, on all your nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 997

You deserved it 374

Today, I woke up at 6:30 this morning, but I didn't have to be at work till 11. I walked the dog, made breakfast and read for a little bit. I then woke up again at 11:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 945

You deserved it 3 044

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 4 805

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 545

You deserved it 3 348

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 735

You deserved it 3 318

Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the bus to see me rather than taking Uber, she finally did. She ended up meeting a man who convinced her that she should break up with me. She listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 357

You deserved it 1 625

Same thing different taste

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