Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
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Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, while watching TV at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark, nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realized she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML
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Top comments
skitzofreniks 5
Front row seating to a real life viewing of "Twister"!
Zestus 19
Wasn't there once a guy who was in the crapper when a tornado came and picked his bathroom up and deposited it like 200 yards away? Not making that up.
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Comments (257)
MasterRide 3
don't worry, I'm sure you will be fine.
tellithowitis 13
it's only a watch, chillll
wisky_fml 5
yeps u be fine
oliveindamiddle 0
Youll probs be fine. bring a bucket? hhahaha
L3Paparazzo 7
shit fast and run furiously !
largefoofighter 0
29-shit furiously and run fast
MissBunny25 0
quit your bitching and enjoy the show that will play out in front of you. few people get to look out a window as they relieve themselves. consider yourself lucky. I know I'm ******* jealous of you. as are the people who use latrines (boners), be ******* grateful, stupid bastard. -.-
oliveindamiddle 0
a lot of people do, my friend.
DoubleDose 0
and people wonder why I still use a plastic potty-training portable toilet. THIS is why America.
EatnBeef 7
it's just a watch. we get those a thousand times a year in oklahoma
spencerchu 0
missbunny that was uncalled for
robbiboyo 0
it's actually the safest int the bathroom cause the piping goes deep as hell, so when the tornado finally hits At least you'll see it, the grab the sink.
MissBrainDamage 0
it's hard to hold on to a sink during tornado weather but anyway OP quit whining n take Care of business and it'll be over with.
kaylanicole1255 1
I feel like y'all have never been in a tornado watch. My friends in NC, the OPs state, had one a week ago. Their house is now GONE! So don't tell OP to quit whining unless your going to take his place! And watch the news, Over 200 people were killed by a tornado just yesterday! I lost one of my cousuns due to a tornado in AL yesterday!!
secretxxx06 6
was it a tornado watch or warning? cuz there's a big difference
Iskaria 0
Why do people live in such high risk tornado/earthquake zones, it's so silly... it's like surprise suicide lol... it's not like there aren't enough relatively 'safe' places to live in the world. This is my way of saying YDI :)
amart402 0
North Carolina is NOT a high risk tornado area. I love here, and just last week we had the worst group of tornadoes here in decades which killed dozen in NC alone, and yesterday almost 300 people were killed in Alabama and other states, so the OP's concern is legitimate. However, nothing came from today's storms, and even if it did, I would rather have soiled my pants and gotten to safety than get blown away in a tornado.
MyDogTastesBad 0
A watch for a tornado an FML? Who the hell moderated this?
rallets 22
man shit really flew out the window :/
toastyjustice 5
I can picture it now, just like from the Wizard of Oz. A witch flies by in the tornado, some debris, a cow, more debris, and the you on the toilet ******** up a storm XD
Mindtrap 0
dude tornado watches are nothing it's like saying there's a burglar in the area when you live in the projects
GigglePony 13
Okay, no one's asked the real question...WHO PUTS A TOILET NEXT TO A WINDOW?!
mfmylifesrsly 29
I'm so sorry for your loss 75
littlemissFYL 5
the tornado won't be the only noise filling up that room mannn..
littlemissFYL 5
and #99, that was such an idiotic comment. you are really messed up in the head if you think a tornado is someones fault, and that is even coming from ME. you expect for people to leave their jobs, friends and family and move just like that? haha, well if it's so easy please demonstrate it for others and I!
HeavyMetalViking 0
Tornado watch sounds more badass than a gold watch. And you were making some Nutella to trade?
manbearpig123456 0
49 I agree it seems like there's alway a tornado watch
EatnBeef 7
you are the biggest idiot on the website. I live in Oklahoma, dead center of tornado alley. people will not just get up and leave caz of tornadoes. some don't have a choice but to live here. you talk like people are idiots for living where they do, yet you are the idiot for not understanding real life is not as easy as you think it is. gl
EatnBeef 7
I meantthat for iskaria
Naomimi_fml 6
99, you live in Northern Ireland. These rare tornados in NC are not nearly as threatening as the situation around where you live. Basically, I'm saying that almost every place on earth has it's dangers. North Carolina is probably one of the safest places in the US to live, geographically (if you go south, there's hurricanes; west, more severe tornados; way west, earthquakes). I know it's fun to argue on FML but maybe you should argue about something you know more about, hmm?
chickenfriedCG 0
144 exactly what I was thinking. Also a watch is no reason to barricade yourself in an stay away from windows. a warning would be reason to worry.
JasonJ 5
THANK YOU! Finally someone asks!
livin_plur 0
144 I was thinking the same thing!
ChrisDS11 0
win.
rocketeer_97 1
179- not exactly. here in california, we have earthquakes, but most of the time we dont even feel them. everyone on the west coast assume we have 6.8 earthquakes everyday, when truly we dont.
laurbear12 3
I like how the newest version of fml doesn't show her comment since it has so many "thumbs down"
kindlystfupls 0
you are an idiot.
kindlystfupls 0
that was for 99. ^
thepandaman 0
CYCLONES FTW! :D
jacobs_double 0
I don't know about tornado, but here in California, we risk it because we have shit to look at. Same goes for houses on cliffs here.
JenL_fml 7
201, you ever heard of curtains or blinds?
th3buhs 0
dumbass, these places happens to br nocr
skitzofreniks 5
Front row seating to a real life viewing of "Twister"!
wisky_fml 5
well the pericular theory states you are liable to compensation
Uncool_LikeYou 0
it's sad that ops first reaction was to post this on fml.. while on the toilet.. with bowel issues..
ubetrwatchBN 5
I wonder if it's the same guy that got robbed while on the toilet with violent diarrhea.
QuantumLegend 0
"Get down in the basement! hurry!" "OH MY GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE!"
Zestus 19
Wasn't there once a guy who was in the crapper when a tornado came and picked his bathroom up and deposited it like 200 yards away? Not making that up.
jerseyboy732 16
sounds like fun
Ranimal 12
What a shitstorm.
Emster689 0
not gonna lie my dad told me that his friends husband was that guy ! :P
largefoofighter 0
Hey nut up and do your thing
missy_lynn012 0
poo in a bucket and dispose of the fecal matter at a later time. problem solved :)
MC18 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Call the waaaaambulance. Take a pot.
fmart 0
tru dat
TrollsFTW 0
cheesy jokes ftw
burninnapalm 5
it's amber lambs... get it right home skillet
hunkypenguin2007 2
Wow tht was gay
mustangdude44 0
wow
tenniscrazy2 6
I live in Virginia, and there's a tornado watch here too. FYL op, hope you're ok.
borkchop1992 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
oh no a straw is gona shoot through the window and stab you in the eye!
allmidnighteyes 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How the **** do you get tornadoes in North Carolina? I thought those were concentrated in the midwest region, not the east coast.
MC18 0
Are you actually asking this question. Go find a map... then read what you just posted.
skitzofreniks 5
lol LOL
Niaa_fml 0
13 He's right. North Carolina is located in the East coast and tornadoes mainly occur in the mid-West, although NC gets tornadoes but very rarely (Less than 20 a year). There was a breakout of tornadoes this month though.
allmidnighteyes 10
North Carolina is a lot closer to the Atlantic Ocean (IN FACT, IT COMPLETELY TOUCHES IT ohmygod) than it is to Kansas. And thank you for that clarification, 28.
A7X_LoVeee 10
So you thought only the Midwest could get tornados? DERP.
allmidnighteyes 10
Read: CONCENTRATED in the midwest (because that's where most of them are because you don't see them in ******* Alaska). That doesn't mean exclusive to the midwest. I just said I didn't know there were occurrences of them that far east. HURR A DURR THTURR
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Watch the news. Yeesh.
Cnamobi 0
Obviously you don't watch the news, there was a tornado in NC on the 16th
SteelCladAngel 0
you know there was a tornado in ny state right? around a week ago... Over Seneca lake.... technically it's called a water spout but that's because it was over a lake and sucked up the water and a few years back there was a tornado that ripped through miles of woods near my In laws also living in Eastern upstate ny....
monsterguru 0
I used to live in Indiana and we had plenty of tornados, and when I moved down here I thought that there would be less then up north but apparently eery couple of years the tornados are really bad. I was surprised.
Pizzamaster 0
midwest as in oregon?
iamtwiggyme 0
We just had 3 tornados touch down in MD... I know it's not NC but things happen. (*shrug*)
xBulldogBabex 0
*facepalm*
happy2468 21
Watch out, we've got a dumbass over here
bkirby 4
Ur a dumbass. Tornadoes happen everywhere.
hubla 0
so would this be a time to put your head between your knees?
anhhai 0
Maybe not a good idea since he/she has the runs.
chickenfriedCG 0
^lol