Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, while watching TV at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark, nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realized she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML
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Top comments
skitzofreniks 5
Front row seating to a real life viewing of "Twister"!
Zestus 19
Wasn't there once a guy who was in the crapper when a tornado came and picked his bathroom up and deposited it like 200 yards away? Not making that up.
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Comments (257)
sruss 0
if it's a WATCH....not a big deal.....now a WARNING...you can FML it
itzthomas 0
This isn't a FML, it is clearly only a watch. OP grow up and stop being such a baby.
enonymous 8
Tornado watch is exactly what you should be doing enjoying the view of a tornado while violently ******** your lower intestine out.
bamfxd 4
I'm sure a tornada won't pop up in the next few minutes. Chill dude.
babymaee 0
very true. forget what I said.
babymaee 0
you better make that ish quick.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Grab a bucket, run to the basement, and hope for the best. Sounds like a shitty situation though :P
xXshadowrollerXx 6
If a tornado came and struck your house, I don't think it'd matter where you were, except for the basement. If you're gonna be such a girl about this, the FML might as well as been, "Today, there was a tornado watch in my area. I'm scared. FML.
Cnamobi 0
But I am a girl.... O_o
jmayinc 3
just because youre a woman doesn't mean youre some pathetic helpless soul. being a woman def isnt a reason for bitchassness.
lalalaleah4 0
Do you always bring your computer with you in the bathroom? Or was this just a special occasion?
Cnamobi 0
Always, I actually refer to poop time as "reading" lol, and its just a tablet so its not like I have my laptop lol :)
jmayinc 3
fml isnt just on computers...he could simply be on his phone
SteelCladAngel 0
um...theres this neat little thing someone invented it's called a cellphone or maybe an iPod or an iPad or any other device that can connect to wifi
lalalaleah4 0
I know everyone! I have FML on my iPhone, but even if it IS a tablet, if you were in this situation, wouldn't you be trying to figure out a plan instead of writing an FML?
SteelCladAngel 0
they take a few days to get posted....
lalalaleah4 0
good lord. never mind.
MyLifeRox20 0
You have a big window in your shitter? I'm sure your neighbors find that awkward
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
Seems like a design flaw if you ask me. I don't think I want to be on the toilet and have my neighbors wave at me while they're walking their dog.