Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, while watching TV at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark, nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realized she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML
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Top comments
skitzofreniks 5
Front row seating to a real life viewing of "Twister"!
Zestus 19
Wasn't there once a guy who was in the crapper when a tornado came and picked his bathroom up and deposited it like 200 yards away? Not making that up.
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Comments (257)
xoohsoaddictedx 0
@2: lmao, love the comment. op: well if the tornado hits atleast you'll die knowing you did what you had to do.
curegrrrl 0
Take a pot, some clean undies & some wipes and take cover. I think I would rather shit myself than die or be injured.....gross but better than a 2x4 through your chest or broken glass in your eye. Just sayin...
chickenfriedCG 0
good idea . except it's only a tornado watch not a warning so really it would be best to go ahead and take a poop then return to your life until it becomes a warning.
Bellacanfixit 2
I hope you're ok OP, I've noticed that everyone on FML has diarrhea at the worst of times, lol.
redbluegreen 40
Is there ever a good time for it?
allmidnighteyes 10
Yes. fmylife.com/miscellaneous/15922476#c_10374423
sara117 0
Hey look at the bright side, at least you can see it coming
CitrusGirl 0
1- supposedly one of the safest places during a tornado is the bathroom. 2- it's a watch, not a warning. 3- If you think you're in danger of death I'd hope you'd have better things to do than go on FML
jmayinc 3
if his life was in danger and he had the runs...going on his phone and posting an fml isnt going to take any longer than it would if he just shit. its called multitasking. im sure if it was the runs it was still flowin after he posted it lol
CitrusGirl 0
Except it says "at this moment." Normally I assume it was written after, but the phrase "at this moment" leads me to believe it was written during the incident.
sonangedemusique 2
#20: Bathrooms are only safe if they are interior rooms. If they have outer walls and windows, they are not safe. just fyi. :)
iamtwiggyme 0
#120 - Just because someone says "at this moment" doesn't mean that it's actually true. It could be written in the present tense for a more dramatic effect.
79DrAwkwArD97 0
Why don't we not pick someone for making an observation when the OP is clearly confused between a tornado watch and a warning... Texas is perpetually under a tornado watch and it's not a big deal... Therefore the OP was in no immediate danger from the window in front of him and he can finishes his explosiveness without concern...
79DrAwkwArD97 0
seriously... autocorrect can suck something... *nit pick* and *finish*...
rachrhodes1 0
lol sux r4 yhu!! lmfaoo
oliveindamiddle 0
tornado!? guess it's time to RUN. hahahah. hilarious.
mustangdude44 0
ur in a shitty situation
Cnamobi 0
Lmaooo!!
mustangdude44 0
i know it just came to me
mustangdude44 0
ur in a shitty situation
itsmisskay 2
Who the heck has a window in front of their toilet!
Sprocket 5
I also have a window there.
docscientist 9
I knew you could be counted on to solve that mystery.
FreebirdIII 1
hope the window is to the north or east.