Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 04:11

Don't ever tell me becareful what you wish for because somebody condescendingly granting a wish in order to fuck with you is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's why suicide exists.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 04:10

Somebody keeps synthetically molesting me and if I had a gun I'd blow my brains out right now. I never wished to be a hooker I just wanted to look like a sexy one because I had a lump in my breasts and they showed signs of breast cancer. Don't tell me becareful what you wish for.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 04:09

Today, I was finally able to say I was done with the lice that I had a week earlier. We went to my grandma's house and my cousin, who I believe gave me it in the first place, made a point of climbing all over me and my aunt refuses to say whether or not she has it. Signs point to yes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 03:58

I don't think people's memories should be blanked, I think that suicide is integral to my religious beliefs and I think that today sucks because my mom doesn't understand that medication doesn't solve my problems.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 03:56

I keep trying to acquire a gun to kill myself because I can't be told the truth and left the fuck alone and I'm just expected to be somebody else and not kill myself.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 01:36

"Ya todo resignado de no poder ni llegarte ni alejarme de ti ?"

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 09/11/2019 01:19

Today, I woke up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 3

By Ryan Jones - 08/11/2019 23:16

Today I went to my girlfriends fathers house to see her, she wasnt inside so I knew where to go. Walked into the stable in the midst of my girlfriend inserting her horses hog into herself doggy. P.s. We havent had sex in 6 weeks which was odd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 19:40

Today, My boyfriend of almost 6 months dumped me. Over the phone. Because he suddenly lost feelings even though earlier that day he had said I love you, kissed me and cuddled with me. i had already bought his expensive Christmas and anniversary gift? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 2

By DevoutOccamist - 08/11/2019 17:53

Today I returned my laptop to the store for another warranty repair. It happens so often, they know me by name.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 2

By DevoutOccamist - 08/11/2019 17:48

Today, I live on the mainland. My job is in Hawaii. Lucky, right? I have to leave my loved ones when I work there for a month at a time. When I get off work there, it's too late to call my family. While there, I'm working, waiting to go to work, or counting days until I can see my family. Now Hawaii is insisting I work Hawaii business hours while I'm home. 1PM to 10PM local time. So now I'm working, waiting to work or counting the hours until I can tuck my family into bed.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 3

By niteeshvasist - 08/11/2019 13:22

Today, my best friend started acting weirdly. What should I feel if someone, who texts me everyday, shares everything with me, with whom I can share everything, starts behaving weirdly and doesn’t text me properly, all of a sudden? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 13:08

Today, I told my overbearing family over the phone that I pulled my right oblique muscle so I wouldn't have to visit them. Later, I injured myself badly enough that I will be housebound for days. Every little move I make is excruciating. What did I hurt? My right oblique. Somehow I knew this would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 58

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 12:00

Today, I got a message from a "Private Ad" girl telling me that if I don't pay her R5000 she'll post our conversation with the pictures all over the internet all because I told her I didn't have any more money to spend on her services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 10:31

Today, the cat we got a while back won’t stop pooping in my bathroom this morning at 3:19 i was severely constipated and rushed to the bath room to only to find a nice huge sludge of diarrhea right in front of the toilet covered with my clothes she drug out oh she also stepped in it

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 9

By soma76968 - 08/11/2019 08:37 - Egypt

Today , I turned 31 and I am still the only single guy within my friends .FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 6

By gross! - 08/11/2019 05:46

Today my boyfriend and I were having some idle chitchat. He blurted out “I think it’s so weird you wash your hands coming out of your own bathroom and in your kitchen. Don’t you only do that in public? And why do you wash your sheets so much?” At least now I know to never eat at his place. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 8

By Coffee223 - 08/11/2019 05:11

Today....I went to look and buy my wedding dress with my parents....also Today, just an hour ago, my parents are going to split...FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 03:46

Today I realized it was a good thing I totaled my paid off truck that wasnt covered by insurance. Because the head trauma actually helped my PTSD.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 02:29

Today my car battery died in the rain. Messaged my ex boy friend asking if I can borrow his jumper cables. He said he could drive but told me I can go get them if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 00:49 - United Kingdom - Cowes

Today after 2 miscarriages and months of trying I found out I was pregnant. My husbands reaction? To smash up the entire house, scream at me and then tell me he was leaving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 7

By Tuesday - 08/11/2019 01:39

Last Year I was driving home and crashed into a car running a red light. Today I went to a job interview and guess who was there? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 10

By nic - 07/11/2019 21:48

Today I woke up with stomach pain and nausea. I went to work anyway but I was sent home shortly after because they thought I had the flu. It turns out, after arriving home, I just had to take a dump.

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 17

By LoserKen - 07/11/2019 15:17 - United States - Eatontown

Today I got a bill for $1000 from the lab that did my bloodwork for erectile dysfunction. Turns out I went to a lab that my insurance doesn’t cover for. I’m 37, fat, single, no friends, makes 35K a year, and apparently I have ED. Now I have to go to work even tho I’m bloated af. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 16

By "ScottishSteak" - 07/11/2019 20:17

While out with my partner, she left a bag at the bus stop. Nothing major, conditioner and chocolate. This is the third time. The others being a bag of undies on the bus and a box on johnnies in the charity shop. In the worst possible place. Thankfully nobody noticed that one.

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 11:30 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend texted me to say his boss, who I have never even met, called me a "tidy little piece". Rather than agreeing with me that it's not okay to objectify people like that, he got annoyed that I didn't see it as a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 09:50 - United States - Marion

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store bakery to buy doughnuts, which we do as a treat every month or so. Before I made my order, the clerk apologized for not having what I usually get and that I come here "all the time." She was right about my order.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 12:56

Today, I accidentally left my vibrator charging all day. When I decided to use it, I took it off the charger and without even turning it on it went to the highest setting and won’t turn off. It’s 3:30 in the morning, everyone’s asleep and somehow wrapping it in blankets makes it even louder FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 53

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 11:41

Today is the first day of a three week holiday. It’s also the third day of taking the iron that I had been waiting two weeks for my doctor to prescribe. The pills are causing stomach issues, so I can either be exhausted for the next three weeks, or stop pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 08:23

Today to get back at me for some imagined insult my teen son told his 5yo sister that 1. Santa isn’t real and 2. Monsters are real and it doesn’t matter if mummy checks under the bed because monsters are invisible to mummies and are waiting until mummy leaves the room before they appear FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 7

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend got a text from a "close female friend." The text was of her with no shirt on, and he quickly closed his phone. His explanation was that his female friends just want his opinion on how they look. I don't know what's worse, that there are several, or that he thinks I'm that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 208

Today, my wife had a shit fit because my son said I hadn't fed him. I'd asked him four times what he wanted for breakfast, and every time he said, "I'm not hungry right now." Great start to the fucking weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 105

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 774

You deserved it 4 096

Today, I’m 27 with no friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m socially awkward, and the idea of meeting people even in passing gives me panic attacks. I’ve been in treatment for years and no luck. All I can manage to do is work and sleep. I think it’s time to give up completely and just adopt a bunch of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 210

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 793

You deserved it 4 162

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 314

You deserved it 9 040