Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 14/02/2020 20:03

Today my girlfriend told me I compliment her too much and that's the reason she feels nervous about our relationship and now all of a sudden can't make a decision on if she wants to be with me... FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 4

By "Tamryn" - 14/02/2020 17:33

The only Valentines action I got was a trip to my Gynecologist. It's the most action I've had in ages...

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 7

By "hholly.h" - 14/02/2020 11:10 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

I messed it up with the boy of my dreams because my depression flared. He thinks I'm psycho now and I don't know what to do... and it Valentine's Day

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 9

By sexless newlywed - 14/02/2020 05:37

Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. Not only did I buy my brand new husband everything he loves and wanted, I made a full delicious dinner and was ready for anything he wanted. What did I get? A big fat nothing. He didn’t want to do anything but play his Xbox. Sexless marriage, here I come.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 13

By Sick of being Sad - 14/02/2020 04:04

Today marks 4 months since I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital 2 hours from my home. I’m lonely... FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 8

By yeah ok - 14/02/2020 02:30

Today my friend stopped speaking to me. We were having a discussion and I said that I didn’t believe in magic. She became irate and screamed that she couldn’t be friends with someone so unaccepting of her lifestyle. She “became a witch” five hours earlier after reading about it online. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 23:22

Today, I told my crush that she was the best girl I had ever met. She responded by saying that some guy named Dave is the best guy she's ever met. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 20:25

Today yesterday my husband got home from work, cooked tea, got told by both kids they didn’t want fish fingers, so he threw the food against the wall, announced “I am so fucking done” and stormed out. This morning I got an email, he emptied our accounts, flew to Germany and isn’t coming back FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 8

By "El Sayer" - 13/02/2020 13:23 - United States - Saint Paul

Today I got fired. I didn't come back to work after a hospital visit. Granted it was a quick check up. Sure.. But it was at 4:30. I finish work at 5:30. Its an hour away.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 12

By "El Sayer" - 13/02/2020 20:20

Today my gf got a text.. About her valentines plans. With someone else. She told me she was working and even asked to for some money to get some food...

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 08:00

Today I was eating dinner and watching anime and got too excited and accidentally spilled hershey milk tea all over my 1200$+ Acer gaming Laptop fully modified.... gone with a cup of tea...FML..

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 68

By "El Sayer" - 13/02/2020 00:10 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my gf of 7 years. Joined a crossfit gym. Now ex gf

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 26

By "eboniaj" - 13/02/2020 02:19

Today I got the results back from my bloodwork and I'm 13 weeks pregnant not only am I on the pill (yes I take it correctly) but me and the guy I'm dating always use condoms (yes it's his baby). Oh btw he and I aren't even officially together and he gets deployed to Kuwait on the 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 23:23

Today I propose that if a socialist win November is that me and my mom moved to Japan ( we’re both Republicans ) apparently she would rather stay in a socialist society i’m living with an idiot FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 16:26 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today I got an e-mail from our school board our daughter is supposed to start jk in September . They want her to go to a school and hours walk from my place. They said there is nothing I can do .I just missed sign up for her preschool by one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 26

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 21:09

Today I missed the birth of my first child because my evil twisted mother in law told hospital staff I was her daughters stalker and had made threats against the baby. So while my wife was crying to know why I wasn’t there I was miles away being treated like a criminal by the local coppers FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 6

By Kj Archer - 12/02/2020 20:01

Today, My new housemate just complimented my handheld showerhead, especially how great it feels on his face and scalp. I don't have a handheld showerhead... I have a douche though.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 9

The accused

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was walking out of a restaurant when I was rushed into the parking lot. Apparently, they thought I was leaving without paying. Turns out, the horrid mom in the booth next to me told her kid to grab the cash I’d left on the table. The cops didn’t let me go until we watched the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 19:23

Today, I use to like a guy and he knew I liked him because my cousin decided to tell him. 2 years later I found out that him and my sister are going out..., FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 18:21

Today, I was putting on my underwear and felt them wet and cold. As an orrible stink reached my nose I realized my male young cat had pissed in 'em. Guess he won a free ticket to the vet to lose his masculinity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 12/02/2020 17:14

Today my cousin failed his electrotechnics exam at post-secundary school and my grandpa said in front of half of my family "Oh, c'mon it's not that hard, even XY passed that one" ...I am XY and nuclear physics student ...FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 7

By Jalen Glover - 12/02/2020 07:15

Today, Just wanted to play 2k after a long day at work come home to to a smelly cat box and no pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 23

By "Gary Smith" - 11/02/2020 23:25

Today my wife called, as I was driving home after a 12 hour shift, she asked me to pick her up at a house across town, it seems the guy she was with all night was asleep and she didn't want to wake him...FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 9

By Kbhjwm - 11/02/2020 22:36

Driving to work on the interstate. Interstate traffic was coming to a stop just as I’m slowing down. A box truck hits my front passenger door. Pushing me into the emergency lane. He got out a said “sorry I was trying not to hit a truck “ yep I got hit because he was trying not to hit someone else.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 11/02/2020 20:49 - Norway - Haugesund

Today, whether it's food or drink (or saliva), the size of the mouthful, how long I chew, how slow or quick I swallow or how I position my head or tongue, I literally can not swallow silently. It's a loud, wet clicking noise and it annoys me so much I can't eat unless I listen to music or the tv to drown it out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 11/02/2020 20:34

Today, I dropped off my 2 young boys to my MIL. We stood outside her door in freezing cold for 10 min before deciding she wasn't home. My 2 year old starts screaming cuz his hands are so cold as I load them back in the car to find a backup sitter. I was an hour late to work at a school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 5

Confused life

By Anonymous - 11/02/2020 14:00

Today, I took in a homeless friend who I have feelings for. I spent almost 600 dollars to get him back on my feet and gave him my bed and anything he needed. I wanted to spend 2 days with my boyfriend, and my new roommate told me he wanted my car to visit some friends. excuse me for having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 71

By Decibell - 11/02/2020 17:34

Today I developed a stomach ulcer. This was caused by the meds I took for a severe jaw dislocation. I discovered this ulcer when I threw up blood... And dislocated my jaw again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 4

By Adi Yarroll - 11/02/2020 16:35

Today, I found out that I have a cold. I was supposed to go on a first date tomorrow... Which already got postponed because my date was sick at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 2

By cilla - 11/02/2020 01:37

I asked my husband to return the bounce house we bought from amazon because the air pump didn’t work. I also bought some throw balls for the kids to use in the bounce house. My husband returned both the bounce castle and the balls in the same box. Now I lost $24 for the balls.

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 19

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 635

You deserved it 1 736

Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 137

Today, I invited my best friend of 15 years to my birthday party. He wants to bring his girlfriend of a year along, because she feels "threatened" by our friendship, and thinks "He’ll cheat." I'd already put the deposit for the venue and it costs $50 per additional guest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 333

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 559

You deserved it 3 444

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 102

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly and ride my bike to work for the first time. I made it approximately three minutes before getting my shoelace caught in the gears, sending me crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of uncoordination. Now I have a sprained ankle and a newfound appreciation for cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 335