Your everyday life stories

Onlysaneman - 31/01/2017 19:00 - Israel

Today, I was reprimanded by my supervisor for leaving the work area unattended. I left the area, while he was present, to complete a task he had previously instructed me to do. The area was only left "unattended" because he fell asleep. FML

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It's high school all over again

Targeted - 01/02/2017 01:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I finally made a good friend at work. My boss has given me a file note saying my friend and I are not to have our lunch break together. Apparently, others feel left out. FML

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Anonymous - 30/01/2017 18:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, today my coworker with no talent finally stopped singing around the office because she has a cold. Now she clears her throat loudly and snorts, trying clear her nose every few minutes. FML

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Ugly shopgoer - 29/01/2017 15:09 - United States - Warren

Today, while in the checkout aisle at the grocery store an adorable baby stared at me for roughly twenty seconds and then started screaming. I have a face that scares babies. FML

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still my best friend - 28/01/2017 20:18 - United States - San Diego

Today, I told my dog he was adopted. He bit me. FML

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Flu - 28/01/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend told me not to come over to stay the night because I'm sick with the flu. He's the one who gave it to me. FML

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Anonymous - 28/01/2017 07:10 - United States - West Columbia

Today, a couple of regulars who everyone hates waiting on came into the restaurant when we were slammed. They sat at the only dirty table in my section and demanded to be served immediately. To top it off they took the tip off the table claiming it was theirs. FML

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Anonymous - 27/01/2017 14:00

Today, my boyfriend told me to come over so we could spend the night together. He called when I was almost there, telling me he was going bowling with friends. He said he'd be back in 2 hours and that I could stay at his house until he got home. Its been 5 hours and he won't answer his phone. FML

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JRG - 27/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out that my wife has been using her vibrator almost every day. We haven't done anything intimate in 8 months. FML

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Donwon - 26/01/2017 20:00

Today, I still haven't gotten my 2015 tax return. After months of hassle and 40+ hours of work, I finally found my mistake. How far off was I? A mere $29. At least the IRS is thorough. FML

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no it's not - 25/01/2017 16:19 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, I finally told my mother that I have severe depression. Her response was "Well, it's probably because you have such a messy room." FML

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dunnoifitsworthit - 25/01/2017 00:34 - Canada - Vancouver

Today was my birthday, my boyfriend took me out to see a movie I didn't want to watch and we had dinner at a fast food restaurant. For his last birthday, I got him a $200 knife and took him out to a fine dining restaurant. FML

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PhoenixChick - 25/01/2017 07:02

Today, it's my 35th birthday. Today I'm also going to a job interview as a housekeeper for a wealthy couple who went to the same college I did. And I'll be lucky if I get the job. 21-year-old me did not see this future coming. FML

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Anonymous - 22/01/2017 12:00

Today, I am losing my dental insurance. I actually had the thought that I know lots of people lacking teeth that still seem happy, accepting the situation. FML

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stressedbride - 22/01/2017 08:00

Today, I got a call from the tailor I asked to alter my wedding dress a month ago. She's sick in the hospital and will be unable to do my dress. My wedding is in 25 days. FML

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- 21/01/2017 18:00

Today, I had a fight with my sister, who lives with me. The reason? She demanded that I made her a steak pie at 9pm, after she had already eaten dinner. She's 20 and has been crying in her room ever since. FML

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Aurora - 20/01/2017 20:00

Today, I missed a meeting for a show that I am performing in. I worked for months on my piece before the audition, and was ecstatic when I found out I was accepted. Yet, because this meeting slipped my mind, a final list of the acts has already been put together and I am not on it. FML

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Anon - 20/01/2017 16:49 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, like everyday since Monday, I have tonsillitis and a chest infection. I sneezed and got blood all over my pillow, enraging my cat so much that she scratched me in her haste to run away. FML

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- 20/01/2017 03:08 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I loaded up one of my favorite apps to read some colorful stories and experiences only to find that the only things that actually works on it anymore are the incredibly annoying ads. What is this app you ask? FML..

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thatonebikeguy21 - 20/01/2017 01:03 - United States - Topeka

Today my girlfriend broke up with me the day after I took her out on our first and only date, I had to build up my confidence for years to ask her out and it ended with a text. So long confidence it was nice knowing you. FML

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angry bartender - 19/01/2017 22:54 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, while serving a table I was asked if the vodka cranberry cocktail this lady ordered was an actually vodka cranberry cocktail. Of course I said yes. She then pushes it away and tells me she's allergic to gin and she can't tell the difference. I know 100% it was vodka. I made it. FML

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- 19/01/2017 22:28 - United States - Hotchkiss

Today, the new girl sat next to me in English. Yesterday I turned 16, but my friends and I joked I was turning 10. She must've misheard us, because she, being dead serious, asked if I was 12. The whole class started laughing. The worst part? I'm average size and the girl asking is 4'3''. FML.

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Kelps - 20/01/2017 00:18 - United States - Malden

Today is my birthday, it's also Trump's inauguration. FML.

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Mr Stinky - 20/01/2017 16:17 - Australia - Granville

Today, while on my way home from work, this guy sat in front of me on the train and he smelt soooo bad. It's peak hour and there are no other seats on this train. Oh and to top it off, the train has stopped due to a red light signal, FML.

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Everyone - 20/01/2017 16:13 - Australia - Petersham

Today, Donald Trump becomes President. FM(and all our)L

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Anon - 19/01/2017 23:53 - Australia

Today, i saw a sonogram of my pregnant child and found out that it belonged to my boyfriend's dad FML

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Developmental - 20/01/2017 12:21 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I RSVP-ed to the other department's award ceremonies next week because their department is giving me an award. My department, on the other hand, have yet to promote me, a promise from a year ago. FML

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anonymous - 19/01/2017 23:01 - United States - Norcross

Today, i went to the store to buy some condoms. once i got to the checkout line and got to the front the i realized that the lady at the register was my gf mother. #fml

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- 19/01/2017 22:30 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only time I've been told "Happy Birthday" is in emails from places I shop online. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we got the IQ test results back, which show our daughter is on the high end of the genius scale. This confirms what my wife and I have long feared: our 6-year-old is FAR smarter than we are. No wonder she wins all the arguments we have. FML

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Today, I severely underestimated how strong I am when I attempted to dunk a basketball into a miniature basketball hoop at a swimming pool. I made it, but in doing so I made it fall over, despite the cinder blocks placed on the base specifically to prevent that from happening. FML

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Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

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Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML

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Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML

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Today, I discovered that my contract start date is exactly 2 days outside of the furlough date. Meaning instead of taking 80% of my salary, I'm only getting 40% (thanks to the company). This would be fine if I hadn't just moved countries to get this job. FML

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