Nearly FMLs

By Rolex - 07/02/2017 14:08 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my friend walked in late to a lecture. I waved at him, asked my other mates to make space and he merely greeted and walked to a different seat. My row and the row behind me laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 20:48 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was emailing a picture of my time sheet to my employer so she could run payroll. I didn't notice I accidentally sent her a nude until she emailed me back saying she needed to speak to me next time I come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 20:30 - United States - Miami

Today, while shopping, I overheard a small child comment to her mom "look at that old lady". I was the only person around. I'm 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 48

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 20:21 - United States

Today, I got a text message from my landlord telling me that I need to get him rent by 4pm or else I have t days to get out. I'm just over a month behind. My bank got hacked, and I start a new job today so wont have no money for nothing not even gas. fml

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 54

By Internet - 06/02/2017 17:08 - United States - Richmondville

Today, my mom still refuses to admit she has an addiction to amazon. She literally hasn't gone out to physically buy groceries for weeks because apparently waiting several days for it to be delivered is more "convenient" than just going out and buying what you need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 35

By simonm02 - 06/02/2017 15:31 - United States - Kissimmee

Today I was called up the front office of my school because "Some body brought something for me" running possibilities through my head I realized someone might have turned my missing phone in and I ran to the office only to find that my school police officer wanted to "Touch bases with me".

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 11:35

Today, my bike needed service so I took my scooter to college. Due to the slippery road, my scooty slipped and got dragged across the street Now I have to get it serviced too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 35

By FuckingPeople - 06/02/2017 10:20 - United States - Batavia

Today, I met the stupidest, most ignorant and most annoying person I've ever met in my life. This wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't a co-worker at my new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 833

You deserved it 467

By ifeelgross - 06/02/2017 09:24 - United States - Arkadelphia

Today, I was masturbating and the person turned their face right as I was about to finish and thought, "That looks like my cousin". I came. I've never felt more dirty in my life. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 70

By We_would_love_2_help_but - 06/02/2017 08:41 - United States - Southfield

Today I flagged down a group of 6 cops because my car had just been stolen. They were on ten speeds and even though I was watching my car drive away around the block all 6 could do nothing. Also, I match the description other the girl did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 18

By DepressedandBetrayed - 06/02/2017 08:24 - United States - Sacramento

Today I learned that the one friend I trusted enough to discuss my depression with was telling people about it behind my back. I don't know who they've told and how long they've been telling people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 23

By can'ttakemuchmore - 06/02/2017 08:03 - United States - Salem

Today, I have realized my fiance is interested more in sports than me, in any way. We've been together for over 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 35

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 05:44 - United States - Midland

Today, While riding BMX at a skate park, I felt my chain come loose. I looked down for a split second, however that's all the time it took for me to crash into a young scooter kid. Not only breaking my nose and elbow, but both his arms. That poor boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 03:07 - United States - Morton

Today, I finally had to admit to myself that I can not have gluten. after eating pizza with my husband I've been down all day in pain. First no more liquor now no more gluten... FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 31

By Meee - 06/02/2017 01:34 - United States - Chicopee

Today, I finally started feeling better after a week of being sick and nauseous. To make me feel better my mom told me she was going to buy me stuff to help me feel better. She came back with a pregnancy test.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 27

By blueyes - 05/02/2017 22:41 - United States - Lansing

Today, I paid for a month membership on a dating site only to find out that I'm literally being ignored by guys from every corner of the planet. I can't get my money back. I guess now at least I know how ugly I am. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 21

By merp - 05/02/2017 22:37 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, my unit is on holiday in a resort in Guatemala. I thought I lost my drivers license. While looking for it in my bag, I needed to fart. I bent down & silently farted a smelly one without knowing that there was a Guatemalan worker behind me that picked up my license. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 42

By fanny12 - 05/02/2017 20:44 - Slovenia - Maribor

Today I've lit up a candle (the glass kind) and after a while I wanted to put it out. I didn't succeed the first time, so I blew harder and got a splash of wax right in my face, all over my eyes and on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 59

By just my luck - 05/02/2017 16:10 - United States - Tampa

Today, after being sick for about 6 weeks, I finally feel okay and go on it to work. 2 hours into my shift, I trip and fall bruising both my legs, my elbows, and rip open my shin. I'm in to much pain to say and I'm sent home, FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 13:44 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend called me fat not once, not twice, but 3 times.

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 48

By cheftastic30 - 05/02/2017 07:48 - United States - Elkview

Today, I'm severely sick with bronchitis, just three weeks ago I had a two week case of the flu. I'm starting to think my own body hates me.

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 19

By vetworksucks - 05/02/2017 07:38 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, after a long day at work, I came home desperate for a shower and tossed my dirty scrubs onto the bathroom floor. My youngest cat came running into the bathroom and immediately squatted on my scrubs and started pissing. Now I know who keeps peeing my bed. Probably. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 07:03 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, I started my new job at the place my sister has been working for years. I overheard a child telling my sister that she expected me to be pretty like she is. The child then denied saying it when I asked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 06:41 - United States

Today, I went to my English class expecting an exam for finals week after some time being sick. To my horror, I misunderstood the schedule of my classes' exams and was unprepared for the whole day. Embarrassed, I tried to explain to my teacher what happened through laryngitis and a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 26

By ThanksForYourService - 05/02/2017 05:58 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, I angrily honked at a car that turned abruptly left in front of me, cutting me off on a busy road. Then I noticed it was part of a funeral procession... turning left into a veterans cemetery. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 208

By captain roger - 05/02/2017 04:59 - United States - Ottawa

For the past two days I've been asked if I'm a guy or a girl: the first was by a little kid who I not so kindly told to get lost. And the other was by a woman who Walked into the ladies restroom and looked at me And had to stop and make sure she was in the right one. I'm a girl. Seriously people.

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 50

By wow lol okay - 05/02/2017 04:58 - Canada - Corbyville

Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year has cheated on me.. i stopped counting how many girls there was after I opened up the 9th message. I was willing to talk about it, but then I found out he was stealing my weed too.

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 73

By HB - 05/02/2017 04:56 - United States - Brighton

Today, my boyfriend made me dig change out of the change jar for cigarettes. He then bought his ex/baby mama and her husband, with which she has a new baby, a $70 Japanese delivery dinner.

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 04:41 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard and it hurt. I just got my septum pierced last night. nothing like cleaning boogers out of your nose with qtips. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 04:15 - United Kingdom - Livingston

Today, my current girlfriend of 2 years bumped into my emotionally and physically abusive ex girlfriend who proceeded to tell her that I'm a horrible person.. what's worse I think she believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 22

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The Top

Today, I adopted my second dog. When I called to tell my mom about it, she sternly told me that I was not allowed to get any more dogs. I'm 28 and own my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 547

You deserved it 1 034

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 091

You deserved it 39 671

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 4 341

Today, my math teacher decided to give everyone in the class candy. He skipped me, and when another student pointed it out, his response was, "I don’t like her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 611

You deserved it 381

Today, my mom sold my watch collection on Vinted. I've spent over 15 years on the collection and I don't even live with my mom. I'm still wondering how she got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 144

Today, you could think I was hosting a festival. Main event: Aunt Flow & The Zits. Preceded by: Mopey & the Munchies. After Party with: The Bloats and The Farts. Whoever hasn’t left by then will have to see The Bloody Underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 378