Your everyday life stories

Lenwolf - 17/02/2017 09:01 - Romania - Bucharest

Last year the gossip girls in my class let everyone know i hooked up with a girl during a school trip. A year later the same gossip girls turned the story around and made it look like I lied and that nothing happened. Like the fact that everyone knew about the hook up wasn't enough. FML

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rodrigomramalho - 15/02/2017 19:05 - Brazil - Santo Andr?

Today I said to my girlfriend how beautiful she was. She replied me with: "I have to poop". FML

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sigh - 15/02/2017 21:01 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today I had to make a film with my friends for my final grade. We decided to get two done at one time. I was patient and acted for hours while filming my friends other films, they had me make mine in under 30 mins and constantly ruined shots deliberately. The film is terrible FML

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- 15/02/2017 07:37 - Sweden - Skellefte?

Today, my puppy finally shut up while we were driving home from the vet. I thought that maybe he'd finally gotten used to riding in the car but no, he was just wery busy eating his own vomit. FML

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blah - 14/02/2017 21:20 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband told me he wants to be a stay at home parent. This wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't complain regularly about being an adult. We both work the same hours usually. I do all the cooking and cleaning because he says he's too lazy. I say he's too irresponsible. He says he's not. FML

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Roommate issues - 14/02/2017 18:47 - Canada - Cambridge

Today I've officially lost count of how many times my new roommate has left the lights on both outside and in rooms he's not even in, for no apparent reason. I'm not looking forward to seeing the electricity bill. FML

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bad mujer - 14/02/2017 16:31 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I cried while watching Planet Earth, not because a cute animal died but because the herd of caribou was just so beautifully large. Maybe this explains why I'm so incredibly single. FML

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ugh - 14/02/2017 16:02 - United States - Athens

Today I had to call 20 restaurants because even though I reminded my boyfriend to make a reservation last week, he didn't. Did any restaurant have a table? Of course not. Did he bother to make it up to me? Hell no. FML.

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Anonymous - 14/02/2017 00:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my Valentine's Day plans consist of a court date. For what you ask? Domestic violence. The irony is not lost on my public defender. FML

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- 13/02/2017 11:37 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to visit my 97 year old great grandmother at her assisted living home she's in as I do twice a week. When I walked into her room she already had a visitor. Another member of the assisted living community going down down down on her. I can't unsee what I've seen. FML

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AustrianCow - 13/02/2017 14:34 - Austria - Linz

Today, my boyfriend told me about his nightmare. Apparently, he dreamt that my dad forced him to give him a blowjob. FML

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Laxayuck - 13/02/2017 08:06 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today I'm having a colonoscopy. I have to drink 4 glasses of laxatives. The first glass has just taken me an hour to drink and I threw up in my mouth several times. 3 more to go. FML

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- 12/02/2017 23:07 - United States

Today, I snuck out to go to a party, while taking a shortcut to through the woods that divide my two neighborhoods, I accidentally stepped on a skunk. Now I have to sneak back into my house and pray I don't wake my parents with this putrid smell. Fml

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Why mom - 12/02/2017 19:52 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my mother is refusing to lend me the car for my road test. I have to pay $50 for a cancellation fee and wait two weeks to get my license because she wants to go to yoga. FML

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MovingEitherWay - 12/02/2017 18:20 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I got my rejection letter from college. Instead of my stepbrother getting my room when I leave for college, I am supposed to move out of my room and into his room come August because "It's only fair." FML

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DoggieBag - 12/02/2017 13:01 - United States - Flemington

Today, after dropping $400 on treating my family to a meal for my birthday, I came home, opened the leftovers, and found someone else's. It was one of the few times I didn't pack my own leftovers at the table, because I figured with a high-end restaurant there wasn't anything to worry about. FML.

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PandaGoats - 11/02/2017 23:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I was petting the neighborhood cat that hangs out at my friend's apartment sometimes. We went inside and I started to pet her cat. I forgot he wasn't fixed and so he sank his teeth into my arm because he hates that cat and I smelled like him. FML.

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magen - 12/02/2017 02:00 - United States

Today, the family I babysit for spells and says my name correctly more than my friends. FML

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- 10/02/2017 19:47 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I got my yearbook. Turns out, they took a picture of me dancing at the first school dance of the year without me knowing. My tongue was sticking out and I looked like a chicken. FML

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- 10/02/2017 18:27 - United States - Delanson

Today, my astronomy class is taking a well-hyped trip to an observatory. Coincidentally, tonight there will also be a lunar eclipse, a comet, and apparently full cloud cover. FML.

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anon - 11/02/2017 05:49 - United States

Today, while working at a daycare, one of the toddlers started pitching a fit, threw his head back while I was holding him, and gave me a black eye. Needless to say, he's hard-headed. FML.

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Anonymus - 10/02/2017 10:02 - Estonia - P?rnu

Today I was taking a shower when suddenly my boyfriend rushed in, sat down on the toilet right next to me and took the stinkiest dump of all time. It was way too cold outside so I couldn't open the window. I almost threw up. FML

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Kitty_Litter - 09/02/2017 21:56 - United States - Bismarck

Today, while using the bathroom, I sneezed and dropped my phone in the cat litter box. Good news: I didn't break my phone. Bad news: my cat had just used the litter box. FML

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Nonnie Mus - 07/02/2017 15:32 - United States - Charlottesville

Today I learned that it costs slightly less than a million dollars for an inexperienced, unqualified person to buy the position of Secretary of Education in the United States. FML.

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- 07/02/2017 14:09 - Panama - Panama

Today, I dropped my phone and my first reaction was to try to catch it with my foot. I had no shoes on and ended up kicking the phone on a corner which hurt like hell. Additionally, my phone got launched into a wall. Now I have a swollen foot and a broken screen. FML.

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- 07/02/2017 07:12 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I have crippling back pain which can only be relieved when I lie down and remain motionless. Unfortunately, I do not get to sleep very often due to my vast amounts of school work, so lying down results in me falling asleep for hours, which puts me behind in school, making me sleep less. FML

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Rolex - 07/02/2017 15:08 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my friend walked in late to a lecture. I waved at him, asked my other mates to make space and he merely greeted and walked to a different seat. My row and the row behind me laughed. FML

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Anonymous - 06/02/2017 14:48 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was emailing a picture of my time sheet to my employer so she could run payroll. I didn't notice I accidentally sent her a nude until she emailed me back saying she needed to speak to me next time I come in. FML

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- 06/02/2017 14:30 - United States - Miami

Today, while shopping, I overheard a small child comment to her mom "look at that old lady". I was the only person around. I'm 47. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML

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Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

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Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

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Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

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Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

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Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

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