Nearly FMLs

By crazymom - 17/02/2017 11:54 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 12 year old brother was calling my sister fat just to be an ass, so i asked him if i was fat he responded with "well your not fat because you eat to much, your fat because you had a baby" i've recently lost some weight and was starting to feel good again.

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 33

By Ontofailexam - 17/02/2017 11:06 - Latvia

Today my english teacher tried to humiliate me. She failed. I tried to humiliate her. I nailed it. She called our school principal and complained about me. Now I can't take her classes anymore and i have exam in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 87

By NoLife - 17/02/2017 08:37 - United States - Katy

Today, I had a dream about having sex with a guy I like. In the dream we were just about to do it, when he stopped because he was too nervous and I was nervous about getting an STD. I can't even have him in a dream. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 20

By Lenwolf - 17/02/2017 08:01 - Romania - Bucharest

Last year the gossip girls in my class let everyone know i hooked up with a girl during a school trip. A year later the same gossip girls turned the story around and made it look like I lied and that nothing happened. Like the fact that everyone knew about the hook up wasn't enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 14

By rodrigomramalho - 15/02/2017 22:05 - Brazil - Santo Andr?

Today I said to my girlfriend how beautiful she was. She replied me with: "I have to poop". FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 43

By sigh - 15/02/2017 22:01 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today I had to make a film with my friends for my final grade. We decided to get two done at one time. I was patient and acted for hours while filming my friends other films, they had me make mine in under 30 mins and constantly ruined shots deliberately. The film is terrible FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 07:37 - Sweden - Skellefte?

Today, my puppy finally shut up while we were driving home from the vet. I thought that maybe he'd finally gotten used to riding in the car but no, he was just wery busy eating his own vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 40

By blah - 15/02/2017 04:20 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband told me he wants to be a stay at home parent. This wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't complain regularly about being an adult. We both work the same hours usually. I do all the cooking and cleaning because he says he's too lazy. I say he's too irresponsible. He says he's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 39

By Roommate issues - 15/02/2017 00:47 - Canada - Cambridge

Today I've officially lost count of how many times my new roommate has left the lights on both outside and in rooms he's not even in, for no apparent reason. I'm not looking forward to seeing the electricity bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 23

By bad mujer - 14/02/2017 22:31 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I cried while watching Planet Earth, not because a cute animal died but because the herd of caribou was just so beautifully large. Maybe this explains why I'm so incredibly single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 34

By ugh - 14/02/2017 22:02 - United States - Athens

Today I had to call 20 restaurants because even though I reminded my boyfriend to make a reservation last week, he didn't. Did any restaurant have a table? Of course not. Did he bother to make it up to me? Hell no. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 60

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 09:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my Valentine's Day plans consist of a court date. For what you ask? Domestic violence. The irony is not lost on my public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 699

You deserved it 6 058

By Anonymous - 13/02/2017 17:37 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to visit my 97 year old great grandmother at her assisted living home she's in as I do twice a week. When I walked into her room she already had a visitor. Another member of the assisted living community going down down down on her. I can't unsee what I've seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 60

By AustrianCow - 13/02/2017 14:34 - Austria - Linz

Today, my boyfriend told me about his nightmare. Apparently, he dreamt that my dad forced him to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 20

By Laxayuck - 13/02/2017 09:06 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today I'm having a colonoscopy. I have to drink 4 glasses of laxatives. The first glass has just taken me an hour to drink and I threw up in my mouth several times. 3 more to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 13/02/2017 06:07 - United States

Today, I snuck out to go to a party, while taking a shortcut to through the woods that divide my two neighborhoods, I accidentally stepped on a skunk. Now I have to sneak back into my house and pray I don't wake my parents with this putrid smell. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 363

By Why mom - 13/02/2017 02:52 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my mother is refusing to lend me the car for my road test. I have to pay $50 for a cancellation fee and wait two weeks to get my license because she wants to go to yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 33

By MovingEitherWay - 13/02/2017 01:20 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I got my rejection letter from college. Instead of my stepbrother getting my room when I leave for college, I am supposed to move out of my room and into his room come August because "It's only fair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 46

By DoggieBag - 12/02/2017 19:01 - United States - Flemington

Today, after dropping $400 on treating my family to a meal for my birthday, I came home, opened the leftovers, and found someone else's. It was one of the few times I didn't pack my own leftovers at the table, because I figured with a high-end restaurant there wasn't anything to worry about. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 41

By PandaGoats - 12/02/2017 06:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I was petting the neighborhood cat that hangs out at my friend's apartment sometimes. We went inside and I started to pet her cat. I forgot he wasn't fixed and so he sank his teeth into my arm because he hates that cat and I smelled like him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 46

By magen - 11/02/2017 14:00 - United States

Today, the family I babysit for spells and says my name correctly more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 208

You deserved it 540

By Anonymous - 11/02/2017 01:47 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I got my yearbook. Turns out, they took a picture of me dancing at the first school dance of the year without me knowing. My tongue was sticking out and I looked like a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 58

By Anonymous - 11/02/2017 00:27 - United States - Delanson

Today, my astronomy class is taking a well-hyped trip to an observatory. Coincidentally, tonight there will also be a lunar eclipse, a comet, and apparently full cloud cover. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 23

By anon - 10/02/2017 17:49 - United States

Today, while working at a daycare, one of the toddlers started pitching a fit, threw his head back while I was holding him, and gave me a black eye. Needless to say, he's hard-headed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 22

By Anonymus - 10/02/2017 09:02 - Estonia - P?rnu

Today I was taking a shower when suddenly my boyfriend rushed in, sat down on the toilet right next to me and took the stinkiest dump of all time. It was way too cold outside so I couldn't open the window. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 30

By Kitty_Litter - 10/02/2017 04:56 - United States - Bismarck

Today, while using the bathroom, I sneezed and dropped my phone in the cat litter box. Good news: I didn't break my phone. Bad news: my cat had just used the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 38

By Nonnie Mus - 07/02/2017 21:32 - United States - Charlottesville

Today I learned that it costs slightly less than a million dollars for an inexperienced, unqualified person to buy the position of Secretary of Education in the United States. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 20:09 - Panama - Panama

Today, I dropped my phone and my first reaction was to try to catch it with my foot. I had no shoes on and ended up kicking the phone on a corner which hurt like hell. Additionally, my phone got launched into a wall. Now I have a swollen foot and a broken screen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 15:12 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I have crippling back pain which can only be relieved when I lie down and remain motionless. Unfortunately, I do not get to sleep very often due to my vast amounts of school work, so lying down results in me falling asleep for hours, which puts me behind in school, making me sleep less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 34

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 145

You deserved it 27 109

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 864

You deserved it 3 746

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 541

You deserved it 4 388

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 483

Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 82

Today, I could easily be any man's dream wife. I'm pretty, smart, devoted, earn well, cook great, keep a clean house, and raise amazing children… but I chose to marry an asshole who keeps hitting me for little to no reason. I'm too scared to raise my kids on my own in this world, or else I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 237