Your everyday life stories

- 04/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I passed up a trip to Virginia with my dad so I would not fail school. Now my brother gets to go to colonial Jamestown. I am a history nut. FML

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- 04/02/2017 10:59 - United States - Columbus

Today, a crazy homeless lady was sitting on the floor at my supermarket crying hysterically because she just stab her best friend in the head. Havent found the friend yet. FML

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- 04/02/2017 09:51 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for suspicious lump under my armpit. He decided to do a breast examination just to see what's going on. After minutes of rubbing and poking my boobs he says "Okay were gonna have to send you for an xray cause you have the lumpiest breasts iv ever felt in my life" FML

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- 04/02/2017 23:32 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, at the end of a bachelorette party I travelled three hours to, the unintoxicated bride-to-be didn't even say goodbye or thank me for coming. When I said goodbye I was completely ignored. FML

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Don't Be That Guy

Anonymous - 04/02/2017 10:31 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, on my way home from work, I wanted to listen to music. The sound was unusually quiet so, thinking my headphones were breaking, I turned the volume up as high as possible. In actuality, my headphones were only half plugged in. Everyone in the subway had to listen to my loud music. FML

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Doc_Riddle - 04/02/2017 00:53 - United States - Tacoma

Today, after driving over 5,000 miles from Buffalo, NY through Norfolk, Nashville, Amarillo, Las Vegas, San Diego, And Crescent City I was on my last 300miles on my way to Tacoma, WA, I was rear ended south of Portland on an off ramp waiting in line to turn right. Hello $6,543 repair job. FML.

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I hate needles. - 04/02/2017 02:13 - New Zealand

Today, the music class I picked at school requires you to be having musical instrument tuition from a specific program. You have to pay by a certain date or you can't take the lessons and have to drop the class. I missed the due date, and I now have to take sewing classes. FML.

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- 03/02/2017 23:10 - United States

Today, a small child took one look at me, yelled "Ew, gross! Look at that girl's face!" and proceeded to make vomiting sounds in the middle of a crowded store. FML.

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hitchhiker - 03/02/2017 22:36 - Brazil

Today,i just finished paying a long maintenance on my daily car,new alternator,belts,tires,oil filters and a full tank of gas,just as i was reaching home from work one of the pollys on the engine broke off,seazing the engine on the spot.... and leaving a milkshake of broken parts inside... FML

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Any guesses? Probably related to his penis.

SomeRandomDude - 04/02/2017 04:00 - Germany - Budenheim

Today, my mom and I taught an elderly neighbour how to use Skype. Now she won't stop telling everyone his "hilarious" password. FML

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- 03/02/2017 20:34 - Canada - Moose Jaw

Today, my best friends girl told me their infant son liked me because I am "Fluffy" FML

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unlucky college student - 03/02/2017 17:01 - Canada

Today, I slept in and missed my assessment test in college. Had an allergic reaction to Nair on my face. And my bank stole 72.50 out of the 75 dollars a friend just gave me for my birthday and left me with 9 dollars for for the next week until payday. FML

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CrazyWifeAsIf - 03/02/2017 15:36 - United States - Aurora

Today, My husband still believes that I don't know how " to talk," so he refuses to acknowledge my presence. It's been two days now and I still being ignored by him.FML

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Kurloz - 03/02/2017 22:17 - Norway - Arendal

Today I was marching with my marching band in the streets. It was nice till we was going to stand at ease. Then a friggin clown showed up, and of course its my duty to stand completely still with my head looking forward with no sounds. The clown decided to play on my tuba and leave fast. FML

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Pityme - 03/02/2017 21:14 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I've suddenly realised why my peripheral vision is so good. It seems that I still haven't completely got over the incidents of school bullying and subconsciously expect every random stranger to beat shit out of me. I am 27. FML

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viktuuri - 03/02/2017 00:02 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I found out that my fiance, due to being deadass drunk, has completely forgotten about the night we first met. That was the night I fell in love. FML

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- 02/02/2017 20:51 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was asked to work Valentine's Day. I had no reason to decline. FML

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Whillzworld - 02/02/2017 21:40 - United States

Today my mother took me to work and traded my rental out due to services needed. She got out all my stuff and after looking through the car she found a pair of panties I seems to have lost from a hookup a few weeks ago and I'm now being yelled at FML

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Bored As Fuck! - 02/02/2017 20:48 - United States - Asheville

Today, I let my mom drive me to class so she could use my car because hers is messed up. Got out of class at 20:03 (8:03PM). It's now 20:48 (8:48PM) and she still isn't here.... Everyone is gone. FML

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Mr. Emu - 02/02/2017 20:06 - United States - Ocean View

Today, my friend told me that he had gotten STD from having sex. The girl he had sex with was my crush. FML.

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- 02/02/2017 18:46 - Canada - Barrie

Today, the medicine I took did in fact stop my cough...by making me puke for an hour. FML

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moops - 02/02/2017 16:43 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, my boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me because he was jealous of my dog that I had for about 2. FML.

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hurtverybadly:( - 02/02/2017 19:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while walking down the hall in school, right after phys. ed, with my shoes in my hand, I try to put them on while walking. I fall back and landed on my ass. I now have a severely bruised tailbone. FML

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feelingstupid - 02/02/2017 13:47 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I meant to say I really admired Fredrick Douglas (prominent African-American scholar), but instead a said I admired Stephen Douglas (white politician who wanted to expand slavery). This was in a video for the black student union. FML

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over it - 02/02/2017 22:00 - Australia - Ryde

Today, and for the last 9 months, my extended family continue to tell me how good my ex-girlfriend was and how stupid I was to break it off. Knowing how much they liked her, I decided not to tell them the reason I broke up with her was because she cheated on me, twice. FML

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Playing hard to get

Anonymous - 01/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I got stood up for the second time. By my interviewer for Princeton. FML

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anonymous - 01/02/2017 06:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I was at the mall when i heard the guy behind me make a disgusting sexual comment about me. I whirled around and went to punch him. He dodged it and I accidentally hit the security guard standing behind him. I got pepper sprayed. FML

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fireass - 01/02/2017 21:24 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I looked at the container of lotion I have been using to treat my itchy, irritated and burning skin. Turns out it has peanut oil in it. Peanuts give me an itchy rash. No wonder it feels like I am sitting on a fire. Yep, I've been putting it on my asshole. FML.

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nananananana - 01/02/2017 03:13 - United States - Waynesville

Today, a dear friend of mine got mad at me for not supporting her during a hard time. Her hard time? She bullied a kid into suicide... But I'm the bad guy for refusing to associate with her anymore FML

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Timetoclosemyfbaccount - 31/01/2017 23:24 - United States - Portland

Today, I realized I have a Facebook problem. When I get overwhelmed in thought while working on my computer, my instinct is to open Facebook and zone out. While handwriting a to-do list? You guessed it. I started writing "Facebook" out when I paused to think about my next task. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

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Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

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Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years has been communicating extensively with his ex, who lives out of state, for over 6 months. She booked flights and a hotel nearby in a month and invited him. He didn't say no. FML

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Today, I finally decided to go talk to my upstairs neighbour about the loud banging noises he makes every single morning around 8 a.m. It worked. Now he starts at 7 a.m. FML

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Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

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