Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you totally deserved it (842)
On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)
(0)I would have just licked the keyboard clean Or made snickerdoodles do
it
#55 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:00am by ilovewhoppers
(0)does it feel like u are wiping his ass when u use the keyboard?
#61 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:26am by 479
(0)beat him over the head with the laptop, make him wash his hands, then tell his supervisor he dropped your laptop and broke it, so u will get a new one and he will be fired
(-1)He's the person from two FMLs ago, I'll bet.
That's absolutely foul. You should tell his boss and put some disinfectant on your keyboard.
How would you know that it was a "large" dump though? Did you look? If not, it's annoying that you used an unnecessary adjective.
#4 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:11am by snickerdoodles
(0)I think the people that complain about her are actually a lot worse than anything else on this site. Especially ones that use caps lock.
#10 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:18am by redbluegreen
(0)Hm, Maybe he heard the man take a large dump? Gross but possible, also the smell might help determine how nasty it was. lol fyl
#11 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:18am by NeonBunBun
(0)Jesus tits snickers who lit the fuse on your tampon?!?! Maybe the dude had explosive diarrhea and through certain audible and olfactic cues tipped off the OP (and anyone else nearby) that the IT dude was taking a "large" dump...
Maybe the IT dude was huffing and puffing and sounded like he was giving birth.
Maybe there was a gigantic splash of water that tipped the OP off that the IT guy dropped a watermelon in the punchbowl...
FYL OP...I hope you had some Lysol at your desk...
#27 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:58am by chewbaccadefense
(+1)or maybe he just didnt wipe so there for there would be no poop on his hands so he didnt have to wash so he could get to work faster lol yuckk but hey anything is possible... and you can correct my grammar i dont give a shit...
#32 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:10am by SerenaChaos805
(+1)Olfactic is a word. It's from the plural "Olfactics," pertaining to "Olfaction" -- meaning the sense of smell.
(0)Lol this is one of the grossest debates ever...is it possible to estimate the size of someone's shit without actually seeing it?
#44 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:45am by slothlover66
(-1)Um, no. "Olfactics" is a word. "Olfactic" is not.
#45 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:53am by snickerdoodles
(0)wow does ur fucking grammer really matter that much. NO so get a life and dott be like, oh u misbspelled a word, and u need a comma in ur sentence. cause nobody gives to shits
(0)snickerdoodles your constant BITCH-NESS is more annoying than the writing, get the f**** off of fml
#74 - On 03/11/2010 at 7:08am by WeStayCrunk24x7
(0)ok i used to think snicks comments were TERRIBLY annoying. as long as she isnt complaining or talking about grammar her comments arent that bad.
#75 - On 03/11/2010 at 7:13am by angelkissezxox
(+1)@62 actually some people do give 'two' shits about grammer. The ability to be able to write a complete sentence and actually spell words correctly show people that you are somewhat intelligent and that your thoughts may be worth reading!
#84 - On 03/11/2010 at 8:43am by SeedlessMe
(0)I wish someone corrected my grammar/spelling mistakes, FML is one of the few places on the internet where I form English sentences and now I don't know it when I make a mistake.
#85 - On 03/11/2010 at 8:48am by lettertjes
(0)I think it's funy wen u type leik dis on purpose just too annoy teh grammur nazis.
#88 - On 03/11/2010 at 9:41am by anti_average
(0)subjectivity,
Perhaps he heard the large splashing sound and infered.
(surf's up!)
#89 - On 03/11/2010 at 9:46am by katmandont
(0)#10, that's completely true. I actually like having Snickerdoodles around to correct grammar, even if I spell or say something wrong. It's the people around FML that complain that are worse than anyone else.
#95 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:36am by TheAbsentOne
(0)It's not really the correcting that bothers them so much as the way they interpret it. I've noticed often a "grammar nazi" will insult a person they are "helping". it also comes off as condescending when you go out of your way to correct someone's mistakes without their request to do so.
If a person wants your help then they will ask for it. That's what I've learned in my short 20 years of living anyway.
#99 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:58am by anti_average
(0)I rarely ever comment on a FML but Snicks you're wrong "olfactic" is in fact a word meaning to smell.
To the OP call his boss and make a complaint and you should have said something to him.
(0)aww yesh snickerdudels maeke phun if mie ghramner aww
*jizz
#122 - On 03/11/2010 at 9:51pm by J3ffr3y050ri4
(0)wow.. snicker whatever the rest of your name is. sorry but you are really annoying. god . chill..
#124 - On 03/11/2010 at 11:01pm by exoticfuck
(0)with a wueston mark... irony of a grammer troll leads to feath
#128 - On 03/12/2010 at 12:27am by bezach
(0)Wow........ That's nice......well at least he was thoughtful enough to give you a present XD XD XD
#7 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:14am by TheJesterOfRippe
(0)I have to agree with snicker
your the fucked up one if you judge peoples ass droppings
#13 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:20am by flufffypants
(0)Post #9--Bet that went right over his head. "Your" going to have to be more specific.
#15 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:24am by okieraider71
(0)dude screw trying to clean your keyboard just burn it and buy a new one. or better yet make poo fingers buy you one!
@ #4 - It's his story let him tell it how it happened! I find trolls like you annoying. nuff said!
(0)Today I had to fix this pricks computer because he was stupid enough to click on a 'male enhancement' spam email. To get revenge I took a 'dump' and fixed his computer without washing my hands. FYL
(0)you could probably complain and get the guy fired, which might give you a sense of satisfaction.
#23 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:51am by troubleinharlem
(0)u guys serious, complain and get him fired? He doesn't work in a restaurant. The guy is an IT person, touching everyone's filth when he touches the keyboards of everyone.
(0)I know people at my work who don't wash their hands as well... I'll just wash mine in the kitchen and don't try to think about it too much...
And getting a guy fired for this? Grow up...
(-1)Maybe he should grow up and learn to wash his hands. Then again if this is Mexico or any Asain country Im sure it's fine.
What? Some Asian countries are ridiculously clean. I don't even know why you wrote that.
#67 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:54am by Tarynkd
(0)How ignorant could you be to say that? I'm mexican and I bet I'm smarter, cleaner, and could kick your ass anytime douche. Asian countries aren't as bad as you may think. I'm pretty sure you haven't been there, but I've visited China and Japan, and will be studying abroad in Japan beginning next month. All I can say is that I bet any person I met in my travels is cleaner and smarter than you as well.
(0)and now, OP, you're using that keyboard to type this FML... ha ha
#34 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:15am by lonely_heart_89
(-1)y don't u quit being a little bitch and get the fuck over it. they invented soap for a reason u pansy ass mother fucker
#37 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:22am by yellow_snow
(0)@36 it's dr snicks....come on now she has to throw her 2 cents in on everything...she home schooled so come on now...fml is her life...she's the fml therapist...simply put...alot of people don't like it but they just deal with her hissy fits and keep moving...sucks but that's life...I wish you could ban people lol haha
(0)He's a disgusting pig!
Keyboards and buttons are some of the germiest things out there, though. Yucko.
#40 - On 03/11/2010 at 4:33am by SeximusPrime
(0)I know, absolutly nobody on FML has ever viewed internet porn, and handled their mouse or keyboard to switch websites or videos and such. And that is direct fucking contact with the genitalia.
That's different because that would be his germs on the keyboard not random IT guys.
#70 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:56am by Tarynkd
(-1)No it isn't, you fool. Look it up instead of flaunting your ignorance. It is NOT a word.
#47 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:11am by snickerdoodles
(+1)Sorry bitch, don't get owned...http://www.wordquests.info/htm/d0001457.htm -- LMAO, you have a lot of nerve to speak of ignorance...sucks to fail at life doesn't it? oh and I hope you know that I honestly feel bad for you since this is all you have in your life. You come home, sign on, bash someone's grammar and intelligence, feel better about yourself, and then crawl into bed, hoping someone will comment you back. truely sad and pitiful...and yes, this will be my LAST post because I have a life, REAL friends (not imaginary or internet friends such as yourself), and better things to do than to argue with a complete moron who preaches from a 10th grade English textbook. I have spoken, you have been owned, and you are a FAIL. Goodnight...BITCH!
#49 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:31am by derekconekt
(0)http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index/info/view_unit/1459/
#50 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:39am by hqwoody327
(0)wow I'm gonna have to agree with snickerdoodles it is not in the Webster
latin-root dictonary therefore that word does not exsist outside of a figure of speech
#56 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:01am by bombermanpyr
(0)Webster is an American dictionary, and not everyone speaks American English.
#65 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:43am by Ecnassianer
(0)Lol Snickerdoodles, you are by far the most entertaining thing on this site. Also don't you just love how everyone says that snickerdoodles must have no life because she corrects everyones grammar, but i definately think it's pathetic to keep on at her, your lives must suck even more (yes i am aware o fthe irony that but saying this my life my suck...BAD).
#80 - On 03/11/2010 at 7:54am by Roll_with_it
(0)Oxford dictionary doesn't mention 'olfactic' either. Even urbandictionary.com hasn't heard of it.
#92 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:07am by lettertjes
(0)ha ha. Grammar is fun.
There are people on this web-site that have English as a second or third language.
My pet peeve: I hate it when people pronounce first-person, plural, possessive, "R".
(0)Sorry sweetie, but olfactic is a word. Just because it has the little red squiggles underneath it when you type it in the comment box doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the English language. :)
Personally, I trust its being used in scientific journals more so than Google/FML's inability to properly recognize it.
#115 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:30pm by theanonimouse
(0)nor is it on dictionary.com, when I googled it all I got was a that it is a figure of speech
#117 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:41pm by bombermanpyr
(0)anyways, who cares about your work keyboard.
it's probably nasty anyways. just make sure you wash your hands before you eat or touch anything on your face, regardless of if he took a dump or not.
...all keyboards are pretty fucking gross as a general rule of thumb.
(0)Or, maybe, for a change - do not shit on your hands? I mean, that is what normal people do, right? Not shit/urinate on your hands.
Why is it, that such a thing is so disgusting for you people? Because someone told you?? I wonder how many really bad things I would find in your fridges, or under your furniture, or beds...
Even if you're not shitting directly on your hands you still have to wipe and your hand is like one inch away from your butthole and that's disgusting. So you should always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. It takes at a minimum 10 goddamn seconds if you're really in a hurry. Throw some soap on your hands, rub it in, wash it off and dry. Done.
#71 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:59am by Tarynkd
(0)... He then started biting his nails, and posted that FML from yesterday.
#63 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:35am by Ecnassianer
(0)Oh, come on ! Most people don't wash their hands after taking a dump. I don't, because.. well.. I'm CLEAN. I know how to wipe myself...
(not washing your hands after peing when you're male is a big mistake, that I agree)
#66 - On 03/11/2010 at 6:50am by 4ube
(0)That's racist. I'm an Indian, and I seem to have better hygiene than most people here - Take a look at posts #29,#57,#66 for example. That's the same sort of retardness as saying every Muslim is a terrorist.
@snickerdoodles, My grammar might be a bit off, mind correcting? ;p
(0)@49 win!!!!!!!!!
so this fml is fucking gross ....and even if he didn't wipe or get shit on his hand.....if he flushed all these little particles from his shit flew up in the air and therefore he would need to wash his hands ....that's how ppl get sick cuz nasty ppl like this don't like to wash their nasty ass hands after using the bathroom period...ppl like this really fucking disgust me...everyone needs to wash their fucking hands regularly no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!
(0)Ugly "b1tch"? There's honestly no need for the "1" in place of a "I". FML obviously doesn't censor comments. You can type "Bitch" if you please. I'm surprised Snicks hasn't defended herself yet. I hope she does. :D
#98 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:52am by TheAbsentOne
(0)Today, I was fixing this guys computer at work. I had to take a dump, and it was a 'flawless victory'. I eagerly got back to work, only to have the asshole yell at me for not washing my hands. FML
#78 - On 03/11/2010 at 7:45am by yourlifesfucked
(0)You probably really don't want to know what kinds of germs lived on your keyboard even before that happened. He just added some to your collection. Unless you clean your keyboard everyday. In that case it doesn't matter either, because you were going to clean it anyway.
#83 - On 03/11/2010 at 8:42am by lettertjes
(0)Agreed #80. I love snickerdoodles. I love when people rage about snickerdoodles, although this is one of the longest back and forth I've seen.
Snick... Can I be your sugerdaddy?
#90 - On 03/11/2010 at 9:57am by katmandont
(0)ummm YDI for not having enough balls, to say can you clean ur hands since i just noticed you in the bathroom not wash your hands, way to not advocate for yourself, then go around say fml fml fml, when you can't even speak up for yourself.
#97 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:51am by jkjackson1990
(0)snikerdoodles looks like an Oliver Twist Tiny Tim love child! she looks like a 9 year old boy who shines soilers shoes for chocolate back during the war. kinda a faggy little popcorn shit small nuisance rodent
(0)ahh I hate dumb people. You say she has no life yet your taking the time to read every comment she and everyone else makes. To then try and bash her.
(0)does it really matter if he washed his hands or not its not like he wiped with his hand and besides most people dont wash their hands at home so he was probably doing what he normally does
(0)Olfactic: A descriptive term referring to the olfactory senses, or the sense of smell. The cow was right, its not a word,its a term, a descriptive one at that.
#108 - On 03/11/2010 at 2:59pm by lilbz76
(0)... you do realize that all terms are words, correct?
Just another example proving that the ability to look up definitions on Google does not indicate intelligence.
#116 - On 03/11/2010 at 5:35pm by theanonimouse
(0)OR you could stop being such a wuss and put up with a few germs. If we keep killing all the bacteria that make us sick, we're never going to build up an immunity, not to mention we're creating superbugs with all of this lysol and purell crap.
The pussification of society starts in your overly-sterlized hands.
(0)So?
Last time I checked, one uses TOILET PAPER TO WIPE THEIR BUTT.
Maybe he's not as filthy as you and doesn't get shit on his hands?
#111 - On 03/11/2010 at 3:37pm by AmbrosiaFan
(0)Ignorance would've been bliss, in this situation.
#123 - On 03/11/2010 at 10:26pm by Official_Person
(0)I just read this crap sometimes for entertainment value but it never ceases to amaze me with everyones obsession with "fucking Snickerdoodle" or grammer correction. You all are like a bunch of old bitches. Just shut the fuck up and post something funny or at least pertinent to the topic. Please!!!
(0)He did it on purpose. IT people really don't care about fixing your computer even if it's their job to do so.
Ya see doing that kind of work is the lowest level of IT. It's bitch work. Keep that in mind when you see him and smile. And be sure to clean that keyboard and mouse!
#127 - On 03/12/2010 at 12:08am by 13__Loki__13
(0)People, people. LEAVE THE DAMN SNICKERDOODLES ALONE!!! all she did was prove that she is an intelligent and share her point of view of this post. JUST because you are jealoous of her insane skill DOESN'T mean that you can refer to her like she is Sadam Husein. All you people calling her a bitch are bitches themselves.
GET A LIFE:)
#139 - On 03/16/2010 at 8:16pm by yogagirl123
(0)Oh, I'm sure the Snickerdoodles is quite an intelligent, and nothing like Sadam Husein at all.
However, I assure you I am not jealoous. Because, however much of an intelligent she may be, I still feel like her comments are a little over-the-top.
Then again, I may just be a bitch themself.
#140 - On 03/16/2010 at 9:20pm by theanonimouse
(0)#139 If I didn't believe so myself I would be disinclined to listen to you when you state that Snickerdoodles is "an intelligent" and that I am "Jealoous". You also don't start sentences with because by the way.
#141 - On 03/19/2010 at 1:51am by anti_average
(0)I think the IT guy beat you to FML, the guy who took a huge dump and forgetting to wash his hands ;-)
(0)omg your life I so fucked you can never live the same way again. lysol?
#143 - On 06/30/2010 at 12:20am by southpointchrysl
(0)one of the employers at McDonalds did that. I wash just washing my hands when she came out of the stall, and headed straight out the door without washing her hands....
