Should have pointed up so your manager looked up and then swipe the money and act like nothing happened. YDI nikkuh

So... FYL for following job procedure? Jeeze.

#93 is correct. This isn't an fml because nothing happened that was wrong.

To be honest, when you get a big tip like that. It sucks when you can't accept it. This person has been extremely generous and you have to look them in the eye and say "I'm sorry sir, but I can't accept tips." That's extremely insulting to them and a huge let-down for you.

BOSS: You are not allowed to take tip
OP: Please boss just the tip!
BOSS: OK I'll just give you the tip

dx i'm sure you would've done that.

Ooh well who's being a bitch tonight?

You wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that if it were you.

Please, it was $100 that he could have had! I feel for ya!

I'm getting tired of all the people who react like this. Are you to stupid to understand that you shouldn't take the meaning of "Fuck My Life" literally? As if people would continu to read this site when all the FML's would be like:

"Today, my wife died in a car accident. FML"
"Today, I was told I have only two weeks left to live. FML"
"Today, I found out I'm infertile. FML"

FML is about the stupid/painful/dump things that happen to people in life, which are FUNNY. That's why people read them.

Absolutely!
The whole point is that this guy was personally offered $100 in cash, regardless of whether or not it's against the rules, and had to say no. That sucks no matter who you are. FYL, man, that blows.

WTF is wrong with you? of course this is a FML. are you telling me you wouldn't not mind AT ALL if you had a chance to accept an 100 dollar bill for a tip and could not?
i'm guessing that you grew up in a rich fucking household and NEVER had to work in retail. let me tell you something, retail sucks fucking ass. i bet the OP deserved a tip after the way costumers usually treat the workers, jesus christ :/ I have a real job now, and it's ten times easier than retail, and i get paid more. :/

to the OP: i'm sorry, ,that really sucks. i was a waitress at a place where we weren't supposed to keep tips for some reason. i ended up getting a fifty dollar bill on my table for a tip from a large, rich family and tried to sneak it, but my manager was watching so i could not.
the worst part is, he put all the tips into a jar, and then used them to get improvements for the restaurant that he wanted; stuff that had nothing to do with us. he could have at least split them between the waiters, fucking prick.

So you wouldn't want to accept a $100 tip if you had the chance? Right.

"...and the manager helped me count the money."

YDI for not being able to count.

maybe the manager OFFERED to help, it's not like he needed it.
And #28: Is that even legal? I thought waiters'/waitresses' incomes mostly come from tips.

that's like at noodles and company. they have to say "we'll bus the table for you and we cannot accept tips" all waiter/waitresses have to say that when they come serve your food. it blows... my friend works there and has something similar happened.

So you're pretty much admitting to being a greedy bastard?

obvious troll is obvious

I agree with number #3. Even if your boss wasn't there, the right thing would have been to turn down the $100 and say "No thank you."
You selfish prick.

How do you know the OP didn't need that money for rent or groceries or gas? You do know what happens when you assume don't you? You make an ass out of u and everyone else including me laughs at you.

.... the manager was right there.... so why would the customer be a *rule tester*?

no #35 if the manager wasnt there

Could've been that managers have to check large bills. That's the way it works at my job. If someone uses denominations larger than $20, managers have to come check it.

But yeah, you should be an honest employee and not accept tips if it's against company policy anyway. If someone found out, you'd be out of a job and lose more than $100.

where i used to work, if a very large amount of money was paid, the manager had to count it as well to make sure it was right. probably has nothing to do with the person's math skills.

if you're 13 and have never had a job, stfu

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

This comment has been moderated.

I was wondering, how do you have time to manage multimillion dollar projects and start businesses from scratch? It must be difficult to do so considering the time that you spend touting your credentials on FML.com. Please, share your knowledge with us.

I'm just curious, is it hard to see with your head so far up your own ass?

@ #54: "Chances are, though, that the OP, like you two fags, is working in retail in part because of shitty math skills."

So I take it, being someone who's supervised multi-million dollar projects, you wear suits to work. You wear a shirt, a pair of pants, shoes, underwear, what-have-you in your day-to-day life. SOMEONE has to manage the store where you BUY clothing. Being a cashier or a sales associate can be considered an afterschool job, but the retail world goes far beyond those two positions.

And I hope you know, OP is clearly a cashier. No manager in their right mind would even hire someone with sub-par math skills as a cashier. Shut the fuck up.

Douchebag - people take whatever jobs they can get just to put themselves through school, pay rent, whatever. Don't be such a pompous ass. Being a cashier has nothing to do with your mathematical prowess.

57 - Because I have more than two brain cells to rub together, the time I spent "touting [my] credentials" amounted to less than five minutes. Compared to the years I've been working actual jobs, that's an insignificant amount of time. Congratulations on those analytical skills, though, mouth breather. Be sure your tray tallies right at the end of your shift.

61 - No manager has a choice. The only people available to work as cashiers are those with sub-par math skills. Those with higher math skills are working as engineers, accountants, etc. That's one reason those big machines we call cash registers are so ubiquitous. Here's a clue: Stuart Smalley was a joke.

Yes, someone does have to manage the store where I buy my suits. Notice I've said nothing about the managers of those stores, or any others. I also haven't said all retail jobs fall into the after-school and summer categories. And for your third strike, I've not denied the necessity of even the dumbest cashiers. The world needs shit shovellers, too, but that doesn't mean they know how to solve linear differential equations. Better luck next time.

68 - You're right. Being a cashier has to do with one's lack of mathematical prowess.

59 - Monica and Gothymama up there aren't going to fuck you because you took up for them on the internet. Nice try, though.

i find most of the FMLs interesting, but what I find more interesting are the random arguments people start within the comments, that aren't even about the FML. I can't believe that some people actually sit down and write 5 page (im exaggerating) arguments on something that is irrelevant to the OP's post to someone that they will probably never see in their lifetime.

I really appreciate being called Monica, and right about now i would usually make a joke about my penis being one of the largest things on this webpage, but i cant even do that since your ego is here. If you need to lie about what you have accomplished in your life on a website in order to sleep better at night, by all means go ahead

Dumbass. Look at 29, posted by "monicamischief." It's not all about you, fucktard.

That's nice, ItecKid. Lucky for you they have liberal arts curricula that don't require a lot of math at that prestigious engineering/science school. Keep it up, you plucky guy!

SheriffBart I honestly hope that you really do hope all of the credentials that you claim to have, because it makes it that much more enjoyable knowing that you have been arguing with a bored 16 year old Latino boy.

That's supposed to come as a surprise? You made all but the Latino part clear with your first couple of inane posts.

Cute comeback, except I'm a chick. Nice try though.

And my comment has nothing to do with sticking up for anyone. I just know a pompous ass when I see one.

you fucking prick. i'm a cashier and i can count money forwards, backwards and any other way you want. i am a cashier because i dont need a full time job because i am a student. wow. somebody has some issues.

SheriffBart, no manager has a choice? Really? In this economy, with millions of people working in jobs they're overqualified for? Did you seriously just try to make that argument?

@SherriffBart

Seriously dude, what the fuck. Every person whose job it is to take money sucks at math? Knowing what a linear differential equation is makes you a god among men? It's not fucking rocket science. It's clear you're the most accomplished professional on this site, but there's no reason to rub it in all of the peons' faces here. Too bad my liberal arts college doesn't offer any math classes above remedial high school algebra. If they did, I might sometime learn for myself about these "equations" that will let me start multi-million dollar businesses while simultaneously badmouthing what could be hardworking, dedicated kids on a blog site. It must take some complicated calculus to be successful at both of these tasks at the same time. If I had to venture a guess, you probably never had to fill the role of a minimum-wage worker who paid his way to get a fancy education like yours. Because that would mean you sucked at math from the get-go, right? I'm a little perplexed; I guess you must have started your first billion dollar project at 16.

I'll cut to the chase here. Maybe if your mom had hugged you one more time you wouldn't feel the need to be such an arrogant fuck.

hah. sherriffbart is funny.

you sir, are an arrogant prick. and fuck you, cause i worked retail when i was in PRIVATE COLLEGE...you can't get in there with shitty math skills...talk about ignorant. i don't give a shit if you are a supervisor managing multi-gazillion dollar projects or what have you, and neither does anyone else. i've had plenty of supers with the same credentials and most of them have been ignorant clueless morons. good credentials dont make you a superior person.

109 - There are plenty of private colleges you can get in with shitty math skills. It's called liberal arts. Tard.

106 - You're right, but only about my not needing a minimum wage job to put myself through school (hint: scholarships, loans and higher paying jobs). Tard.

87 - So? Chicks can't do other chicks? Tard,

88 - Good for you, sparky. Keep up the good work and you might be promoted to washing the lettuce soon. Tard.

89 - Look at the data. The highly skilled are still in demand. Tard.

107 - Glad somebody gets it.

I hope you repeatedly used the word "Tard" in your scholarship essays.

You're making all of this shit up anyway.

If starting stuff on here makes you hard, more power to you. Except, next time you try this, try finding something better on Wikipedia than linear differential equations. It's weak shit because some math whiz cashiers have heard of basic calculus and you won't be able to fool them.

@SherriffBart.

I laugh at you, partially because I imagine I am better at maths than you (well within the top 0.1%), but mainly because I am not such a dick about it. I sit down and accept the fact I'm slightly nerdy. I don't tell everyone about it, I just go out and have friends. I don't come on the internet and start laughing at people for being less lucky than me with the genes they were given. Your mathematical prowess, and mine, are through no fault of our own. We're just the lucky few. So stfu, you pompous dick. You don't deserve your brain.

And if you're gonna call me a hypocrite, I don't normally talk about maths on the internet. I'm only doing it to bring you down a notch, wanker.

bart-
"89 - Look at the data. The highly skilled are still in demand. Tard."

Look at Michigan, or any of the other auto-based states. Then tell me I'm wrong. Tell the thousands of auto workers (like my cousin, who has an engineering degree from University of Michigan - god, he must be a dumbfuck.) who are out of work and are taking jobs doing ANYTHING they can to support their family. Present me with the data, please, enlighten me, because the 150 people here who are calling your shit are obviously wrong.

If you do supervise such multi-million (or was it billion, I forget?), how is it that you have the time to mingle and advise those of us who's station in life is so obviously below you? Or are you some dumbfuck (I'm sorry, "tard") who still lives in his mom's basement at 42, works at McDonald's (as a COOK - b/c he's too fucking stupid to count money - haha), who has no real friends and spends his time trolling on the internet for responses such as this?

It may make you feel good to get all these people worked up and pissed at you. In fact, you win. But know that you're not right, and that many, many people in America are doing whatever they can to make ends meet right now.

But then again, you know nothing of this, because you're "living the dream." You dumbfuck prick.

#116 - Less than 10% of the United States is unemployed. Just think of the bottom 10% of your high school math class. In a class of even 40 students, that's the bottom 4 people, and what kind of grades are getting? Probably F's and D's, maybe a C in there if you're lucky. I'd call that sub-par math skills.

look at sheriff who got too scared of the people calling him out and had to get a new account hahaha

you're still a fuck by the way.

i hope your not talking about me cause im not sherrif. hes right but hes being an elitist pig about it.

Dear good sir, SheriffBart,

I don't know if I should ignore your ridiculous post or pity you. Considering how intricate and impressive your imagination is, I must applaud you for posting your imaginary credentials on the Internet. Surely you've had much bravado to pretend you're a successful businessman when in reality you're nothing but a poor kid, a rank amateur, who can't accept how reality has harshly dealt with you. Allow me to digress.

Linear differential equations. Such basic, basic math that I've learned before in 10th grade in Calculus AB. So you can derive first-order equations. What an amazing feat, if it weren't for the fact that almost everybody could too. Unless you're talking about partial differential equations, but then again, 1) it's basic calculus learned in every college, and 2) it's applied mostly to physics and therefore has little effect on building multi-million dollar projects and handling such ludicrous portfolios. Sad as it may be, but reality dictates that randomly drawing terminology from a calculus book does not by any means prove your significance to the world.

Pray tell me how you've developed such an interesting vocabulary and diction if you were such a successful businessman. I wonder whether it is now the trend or that you're such a rebel that compelled successful businessmen to use words such as tard and "do." Of course, despite this being a possible undermining of your credibility, I may be wrong and that it is indeed the fashion to use such lowly words to express your opinions. But then again, given the chances, I'd disagree.

Lastly, I find your claim to be laughable and incredulous by how you express your ignorance and stupidity by replying to our good friend andylink's comment. While he was taking apart your argument and implicitly insulting you, you reply that you're glad he gets it. I don't know whether this is firm evidence that you have no clue what he was talking about, or that you're sincerely glad someone understands that your claims are impossible and that you've been spending too much time on the Internet trying to build up a powerful reputation, which clearly isn't convincing anyone, and that really you need a hug from your mother to cheer your sad life up. Either way, you lose on the Internet and in real life.

In short, if you thought the above post was tl;dr, I'll summarize it in terms that any Internet user can understand: you fail.

@ TheOneAnonymous, tl;dr faggot.

no one cares about your long winded shit for brains argument

On the same boat with our friend SheriffBart, are we?

Thanks for proving my point.

I read your whole comment and got nothing out of it except for the fact that you're just another one of those pessimistic fags who thinks that a good insult requires big words.

Incorrect. You would've seen how I torn down his argument by giving proof why what he says does not add up. And how he was confused over andylink's comment.

Oh, okay. My bad. I guess I should've read the comments before your's. Egg on my face.

Just using his own medicine against him. It works.

How long does it take to count money??

I had a big jug full of pennies, plus a lot of silver change, then some bills on top of that, and counted it because I was bored.
Shit takes a while, especially if you want it done right (ie: counting over).
What a sucky job lmfao

Either way, OP, that's too bad, but you SHOULD be an honest employee, so I can't say FYL or YDI.
Now, if you had gotten in trouble for taking the money, that would definitely be YDI.
If you hadn't taken the money and some shit went down where you could have used it and you got fired because of it, that would definitely be FYL.

But just a simple matter like this isn't bad, aaaand you come off as a honest person to the customer (and your manager) anyway. Maybe he'll tell more people about you? Maybe even give you money later?* Maybe you'll get a promotion for following company rules? Maybe, if you quit, people will remember what a good person you are? This could be a great thing, my friend.

*An elderly man who's a friend of our family once offered my mother some amount of money (I forget why) and she declined and told him she wouldn't feel right and all that. He was so touched that he put double the amount in our mail box the next day.

Not necessarily.

OP is clearly in customer service, and customer service employees come and go like house flies.

And that would have been interesting applying for your next job;

Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job?
OP: I was very kind and helpful to a client, and he offered me a tip. I was fired for doing a good job.

what kind of a dumbshit are you?

That makes.. perfect sense?
Every woman loves having sex for money. Obviously.

So what are you saying that this guy should take "just the tip" instead of a tip?

This.

It's a man.

#23- yes. every woman has a price.

You ARE the worst person alive, how dare you!!!!!!111


Nah, but really, not me yo. You're welcome to try though lol, I'll tell you when to stop handing me 100s when it's enough.

you say that now...

"Because you have to show it's just part of our excellent service we all love to provide and not something that needs to be paid for." At least that's what my last store director told me.

Interesting application of the dictator game. Assuming that no one above the manager would ever find out, why not offer to split it 90/10? If the manager's rational, he'll even take a 99/1 split. My bet is that most retail managers aren't rational, though, making 50/50 or something close to it the optimal solution for the cashier. Of course, I wouldn't expect the cashier to be able to imagine a possibility beyond an even split.

Hmm. You know, what surprises me most is not finding people who use it but rather people who call it by its name. Although yes, it was a particularly nice use of it. Especially on the internets.

wtf?