Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
elmatador615 12
I hate public restrooms so much
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Comments (110)
Qwermy 16
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
domking1315 20
The way this fml is worded is amazing
kalaynav 12
he sure as hell won't be able to make it into the bathroom then.
applebramble 22
That co-worker sounds like he's never had diarrhoea , which I highly doubt . It happens to everyone . Geez
incoherentrmblr 21
...and fooking gave it...
n3ophyt3 10
Well he will start a muzik concert
Ambient25 24
He must of had Taco Bell
Wizardo 33
#19, I know right, are symphony is now added to my phrase encyclopaedia *toot toot tooooot*
Wizardo 33
I only just re-read my comment, auto correct changed arse so I apologise to the dying GN's out there.
elmatador615 12
I hate public restrooms so much
Zwingend 15
I don't think many people like them but I'd take public restrooms over people ******** in the streets.
hahatofunny 20
It's better than ******** in a plastic bag like that one FML.
frankiero 17
Or in a plastic bag.
kolapo 8
Shut up Alex
allie2590 31
Same here. They wouldn't be so bad if people would keep their judgements to themselves.
Mirorbo 26
The judgement just amazes me too. It's something EVERYONE has to do... so why the judgement and disgust? Unless they're some sort of alien who never has a bowel movement.
airhead2015 18
At least it wasn't your boss.
TheJasonLi 13
Were you in the stall at least? If not fyl :/
parism143 28
Public, workplace restrooms generally have stalls, yes, but even so, still pretty ******* embarrassing.
cmitchell52 7
Depends on the country and how modernized the building is. For the U.S yeah it usually, hardly in the Asian countries. Can't say for the UK I've never been there. Not to be a smart ass :P
Mauskau 35
#50, we're as advanced in the UK as the US is. Every public toilet has stalls or cubicles, and sometimes they're fancy ones that shut you off from everyone else. Sometimes there is just the one toilet, but they tend to be like those disabled toilets and have the sink in there with the toilet. Most of the world has cubicles, and I've been to some poor countries.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
You made me picture that scene in Bridesmaids!
zoepie 7
When nature calls dude. Sorry OP
DenBriZel 31
Your poor butt! And your poor co-worker's nose!
buckeyed 20
I'm not sure why he's so surprised about a person farting/pooping in the bathroom. There could have been a lot worse places to do it! Sorry though OP. Not a fun feeling.
MidnaLink 33
Two words come to mind: "Loud" and "Stinky".
adyb 12
What about the word "natural"?
MidnaLink 33
Ha. I meant for the OP. Good catch!
RedPillSucks 31
@39 what about "lugubrious" and "bombastic"
neutralize 12
"Arse" and "symphony"... two words I thought should never be in the same sentence, until now.
Metallica36176 16
I know. This FML was beautifully wrote and left a very detailed image in the mind. xD
Lillias_fml 19
Google Mozart's "Leck mich im Arsch" masterpiece. People make art out of these two words.
thenewgirl29 20
That's (shitty) OP.
taterrtots 25
stop.
cometkeeper00 3
yea, I'm so glad for the most part people stopped this specific stupid thing.
GEBEH 14
isn't (....) supposed to be additional/optional information to the existing sentence? because "that's op" isn't a very good contribution.
Cynical_1 26
Oh...like it's never happened to him. People can be so self-righteous.
weveallbeenthere 30
that's funny as shit. lol
bethers_ 22
No. No it's not.
puppie406 23
Did you just