Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying, "Stay!" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying, "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said, "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
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Top comments
Confused77 3
That's ruff..
aatas187 8
Either that was a rather hairy/ugly child or you are in desperate need of an eye exam. Good for you on being dog friendly though.
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Comments (133)
Confused77 3
That's ruff..
aatas187 8
That was a pawsatively purrfect pun.
ILoveMyArm 15
Mutt we do these puns? I hope the girl wasn't a bitch about it.
Sfaizi24 17
#10. Dogs don't purr. I think your having a ruff time.
tacojauns 45
#46 what are you barking about?
WhoopWhoop321 18
Do you not know how to spell rough?
Ainarr 29
Do you not know what a joke is?
BradTheBrony 19
Here's the joke. And your head was way way way WAAAAAAY down here.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Hahaha! 57's comment made me laugh so much harder than the puns themselves. You must be new to this site. Oh the stupidity.. So funny.
sonnyrosa 32
Sit Boo-Boo, sit. good dog.
jagex2121 4
Honestly, I thought the woman was gonna eat the treat
WhoopWhoop321 18
Whoops! Sorry, I only caught on to the pun after I posted the comment. So the people calling me stupid were'nt kidding, were they?? I have my blonde moments. Anyway, glad it made you laugh.
Han1156 23
Eyes, making fools of us since the beginning.
friedpwnadge 25
Sometimes I think Canadian stereotypes go too far but then this happens.
aatas187 8
Either that was a rather hairy/ugly child or you are in desperate need of an eye exam. Good for you on being dog friendly though.
CallMeWindSock 24
Those kid leashes just scream "poor parenting skills", don't they?
lzmo 20
Hahahahaha
isallwaysme 27
why do people feel the need to post comments like these?
persianninja 23
If its funny (which it is) then keep it to yourself don't just post it
shyeahh_fml 19
Hahahahaha
theonlyone1 7
I can say the same to you
redmane 21
Insightful.
Yummiez 14
RedPillSucks 31
I wanna know what the womans response was.
Jasmeent11 15
Same here.
jsp16 24
Went something like this "Yes Jill, you can have one. Sit Jill, sit!" Or op got punched in the face
shyeahh_fml 19
There might be another FML from the woman's perspective...hopefully.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Well...the kid could have the treat too couldn't she? A lot of kids go through that phase. In any case, I don't think there's a smooth way to talk yourself out of that one. FYL OP.
Enslaved 36
Today, my mommy took me to get a Happy Meal. I got a Beggin' Strip instead. FML
little_one 20
You never know she could fallen off the wagon and started eat cats treats again... They are similar.
jojj351 12
but that's im-paw-bible! how can you confuse a girl for a dog?
aatas187 8
No! Bad dog! We always finish our puns after thinking them through.
RandomPenguin 13
I think he means 'improbable', but I read it as 'in the bible'.
Llama_Face89 33
I think he meant im-paws-ible. imposible.
EverestMelting 23
Always double check OP, always double check.
tiernang 21
Maybe she was part werewolf? But seriously OP, did she laugh or complain to your manager? I hope she had a sense of humor.
aatas187 8
Anyone else see #11's head smashing into the keyboard during the last sentence.
aatas187 8
Ok I'll go back to my hole now
sonnyrosa 32
Well, now I do.
kaybee41906 13
Today, I went to the drive-thru with my mom. The person working there thought I was a dog. FML