Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, my stepson told his class that I beat his mommy. I did beat his mommy… in Pokémon. He left that detail out, and now his entire school is treating me like a monster. My wife thinks it's hilarious, and says it's her revenge for me winning. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
This would have been de perfect opportunity for the HiV gag. After kicking the kid off, when the mother starts screaming say "your son just bit me, and I'm HiV positive, and walk away bleeding all over the floor
The_Water_Ninja 9
kids these days... you would think they knew this information
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Comments (166)
The_Water_Ninja 9
kids these days... you would think they knew this information
Damian95 16
Sure I mean... I wanna be, the very best, that no one ever was.
mb2_native 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
True enough eh haha. I, on the other hand, keep hoping it'll make its way to playstation but that ain't happening :(
MzZombicidal 36
I'm not really surprised he didn't know that, to be honest. With how he seems to be being raised, it's like the world caters to him. He bites a stranger in the leg? "No big deal, Mommy's going to get the bad man in trouble for upsetting her precious angel." If I were OP, I would have shown them the damn bite marks and threaten assault charges on that little bastard and his terrible excuse for a mother.
botanistjessica 24
Can you really charge a young child for assault? Serious question.
ShadowNinja445 12
Yes, #80, you can file assault charges on an underaged child, though the parent will be the one to appear in court.
JACKxRAWR 22
That little shit and his mother SHOULD have to go to court.
astralvagan 20
#86, if we are being technical, it would depend on the state that they are in.... Some states allow as young as 12 to be tried alone, as an adult.... But that it usually only in serious felony cases
XanderJayNix 17
80 - if you can't press charges on the child, I'm sure you can probably sue the parent on loss of income due to their poor parenting skills.
Slasher2977 19
Sony and nintendo almost had a partnership, however they had a falling out in the 90s , you have a better chance of the obama administration getting something done than pokémon on playstation
NostalgiaFreak9 41
Kids have always been this poorly behaved.
helloimclaudia 30
Sometimes, you can't win. Some mothers are way too overprotective
ineedalogin 19
Sometimes the kids are way too stupid
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Or both are too stupid
ZeroPath5 16
He could have shown the bite mark. Even if the boss still didn't know who started the fight, it would have been worth a try, but I'm pretty sure he would believe the kid bit first instead of the employee kicking first
kamikrazy 6
It shows bad parenting. Unless stupidity can be passed down through genetics.
SexPot143 13
Cameras are everyones best friend. You can see who started it. Too bad that kid is a little piece of shit. I feel bad for a lot of kids these days, they are gonna **** up our future badly
d4m4s74 12
This would have been de perfect opportunity for the HiV gag. After kicking the kid off, when the mother starts screaming say "your son just bit me, and I'm HiV positive, and walk away bleeding all over the floor
Nutz101 7
Calm down there Satan
ViviMage 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cept she might take that seriously and sue for the danger your fake HIV put her son in and charge you for real medical testing on a disease you never had to transmit. I know, he bit the OP, but you gotta think like a due happy American here!
JACKxRAWR 22
Dude, OP could've just strolled off into the sunset. How the **** would they find him? ;)
Octwo 16
He could stroll wherever he wanted, if you read the FML you'd know he was at work. Not that hard to find out who he is.
nix1993 41
#69: You can't sue someone for having HIV, nor for it being passed on via what would legally be classed as an assault (doesn't matter how old the child is, you couldn't legally blame OP if theoretically a virus was passed via means beyond his control). If this woman has raised her son to be such a little shit that he'd bite a stranger because he didn't like something he was told, then she pretty much deserves whatever it might cost her. It might make her realise that she needs to teach her kid some manners. Or, you know... human decency.
UnluckyGenius 21
#69 Sue* you dumbass, if you are going to insult americans be smart about it.
horneyhic 15
No then your accually lieing to cause trouble say something like "might wanna get ur kid tested for HIV" then they can never say u lied if they try to sue
Brandon_NW 9
Haha goooood
friedpwnadge 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Find a better job I guess. That really bites, when you get to the teeth of the problem it's not just the consumer who is always right but in your case a fundamental lack of responsibility in management.
Narutosuns2fan 12
You went a little overboard with the puns there, #4.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
There is no such thing as "overboard with the puns." You must be new.
fuckedPriceless 17
I like it only because his avatar makes it look like Zoidburg is saying it.
Alihb 16
Find a better job? It sounds like OP works in a game store. I would love to work in a game store! Think about it. All day you're talking about videogames, thinking about videogames, and making money for video games!
friedpwnadge 25
I only made two puns though. :c
chanellgymnast 17
What a brat of a kid and some parent! Damn!
Beva_fml 15
Jeez, like it was your fault.. maybe the mom needs to raise a kid that's not such a little brat.
Xeserx 8
Kid used "bite" OP suffer suspension. Attack was very effective.
Pleonasm 35
must...not...correct...battle text system...
Mossears133 15
Kid used bite. It was super effective! OP became suspended.
RpiesSPIES 27
Parasol Lady Dumba** wants to fight! Parasol Lady Dumba** sends out Stupid Kid! Foe Stupid Kid used Incorrect Information! It was not very effective... OP Used Facts! Foe Stupid Kid is unaffected by Facts... Foe Stupid Kid used Gouging Bite! Critical Hit! OP is trapped with an Injured Limb! OP used Leg Whirlwind! Foe Stupid Kid returned to its owner. For Parasol Lady Dumba** used File Complaint! It's Super Effective!!! Critical Hit! OP hung on using his Focus Band. OP was hurt by Injured Limb! OP fainted. OP paid out near-job-loss to the winner. OP is out of useable energy... OP whited out.
turkturkington 13
Being a kids' worker - you need to push INTO the bite... They can't breathe and automatically stop. Works every time and looks less violent to stupid parents than kicking them off.
football98_fml 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
and thats another reason that ps3 is better than xbox
Xeserx 8
Ps3 isn't all that. Lacks good game.
Pwn17 25
Why are you bringing the PS3 into this? Pokemon is Nintendo, their consoles are what should be brought in here, regardless of whether it's better.
Narutosuns2fan 12
I have and love both consoles equally, but this isn't the time or place for a stupid argument over which console is better. This is about Nintendo, so please shut up about ps3.
mb2_native 15
10, your comment lacks way too much common sense... So I'm going to point out that Pokemon, is exclusive to Nintendo and no other console. Although like I said commenting to #1, I hope it does, but it won't :(
Alihb 16
No, youre wrong Both consoles are great, but you can't deny the fact that PS3 has better exclusives
MidnaLink 33
football, at least with ps3 you don't have to pay for your psn, unlike xbox where you pay for xbox live.
Zomg_Okay 26
10 - Yup! PlayStation is better than XBox because PlayStation doesn't have Pokémon either. Wait, what? 88 - You don't have to pay for XBL either. You can play games without it, just not online. Besides, PSN is becoming mandatory for online gaming next generation anyway.
DKjazz 20
Now wait a minute. I thought we weren't going to talk about this here?
MidnaLink 33
92, with psn you don't have to pay to play online, just for PS+.
Meettitan 14
Xbox live is $60 a YEAR. If you can't afford that stop playing video games right now.
Zomg_Okay 26
101 - You *will* have to pay to play online with the PS4. That was my point.
Treveyon56 14
Wait you guys pay for Xbox live. I have been getting it free for about a year and a half now.
astralvagan 20
I have to wonder not what is wrong with kids these days, but why the parents let their kids do whatever the hell they want? I'm willing to bet that that kid will turn into a bully also
Cazz91 21
I'm surprised the company backed that customer up considering that kid technically assaulted the worker. I understand that it was just a kid and OP probably could have used a slightly less violent alternative but its a reaction to an attack regardless of who it was that i'm sure some people would have reacted the same way. Child or not, they have to learn at some point that behavior is unacceptable and its a shame that mother is too stupid to do anything about her precious angel that can't do any wrong. Everyone says its the mother being overprotective. I disagree. That's a poor excuse to use for her when she probably knows better on what her kid did and didn't bother to proceed with consequences just so she didn't have to deal with the ugly side of retaliation from her spoiled brat kid.
Narutosuns2fan 12
You've hit the subject on point there, 36.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
Holy run-on sentence, Barman. o.O
gracehi 31
What run-on sentence? There were some very long sentences, but I didn't see any run-ons. And who is this bar man of which you speak? Sounds like a fellow I'd like to meet.
summerguy97 16
Don't say kids/parents these days are bad. There have always been terrible parents and children throughout history.
astralvagan 20
#93, while this is true, today's younger generation is incredibly spoiled.... Let's take today's generation and give them nothing but pay phones and rotary phones and see how long it takes them to get bored...
azisles02 17
I would actually write a letter to the stores HR department. If there is video of the child biting the OP, then they have a valid case of self-defense. In a case like that, they should also reimburse you for lost pay. If HR turns a blind eye & the video evidence exists, maybe get OSHA involved since their not looking out for the welfare of their workers.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
Actually, 93 is right. Kids have always been spoiled brats, the internet only makes it more obvious these days. Just because technology improved over the years, that doesn't mean only kids today are spoiled and poorly behaved. A kid today begging his parents nonstop for an Xbox 360 is really no different than a kid in the 90's begging his parents nonstop for a Sega Genesis.