Today, a man asked about fishing in the river that flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML
Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML
Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
Today, I was so happy to be divorced from my asshole husband, I threw my ring off the bridge near the park where we met. As I was walking away, a diver surfaced, yelled, “I think you dropped this, miss” and threw the ring back at me. I can't catch a break today. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
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Top comments
Volcan_fml 22
Who the **** makes their husband cry in public?
woainishamu 21
If he cries over his dick size, he needs to learn to grow up.
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Comments (96)
woainishamu 21
If he cries over his dick size, he needs to learn to grow up.
Iamevil123 16
Oh the irony...
SokDek 14
Sounds like there isn't too much "growing" going on though...
interesting33 36
Hey I think it sounds like it is something much much deeper. And to be honest if it was a guy saying something to a girl about that then the reactions would be completely different. The wife sounds somewhat abusive.
PrimeRuler 2
Crying is over the top but the OP said he ALMOST cried so he actually didn't. Anyway, making jokes about a guy's meat is like making a joke about a girl's weight. Classless. But everyone seems to take this less seriously because of double standards against guys.
LSJEK88 1
I'm sure he wanted to cry because he loves his wife and feels like he failed her. That is why this is sad. F that man's life.
TogeBara 12
ever thought that maybe he knew she was serious and that he was crying over the fact that he thought he married someone he loved that turned out to be a colossal bitch?
blackman100 20
I see what you did there
fareith 15
He probably went straight to Subway to buy a $5 footlong.
Volcan_fml 22
Who the **** makes their husband cry in public?
ileenefudge 29
Apparently that lady.
zandalee 19
She's a total bitch.
JACKxRAWR 22
Some people forget that abuse can go both ways. OP wasn't to know that though so it's really not his fault.
Shoot_A_Glock 6
I thought you were hot but then you ruined it by saying what you did.
JACKxRAWR 22
#64, she's mediocre at best. :3
daner10 5
64 and 79- you guys are total pricks. How Is she "mediocre" I mean you must be as blind as a bat.
awalsh317 5
yeah that's really shitty
Grauncho 27
I guess he has two things in common with a baby.
ironichalibut 24
He also poops himself? Where's it say that? Oh.. I think I'm getting it now..
CoolRainbowdash 15
It said that he ALMOST cried. I feel bad for him.
Grauncho 27
And babies don't ALMOST cry?
shadowedpixie 19
That's actually kind of sad...
ironichalibut 24
It's not the size of the fish, it's the way you season and present the meat.
AbstraktThoughts 13
It's not about the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean ;)
whiplash2289 19
though it's really hard to cross the Atlantic in a dingy.
mattuti 8
I may not have the biggest boat in the marina, but I do row the hardest.
mackdeezy 22
She must be controlling at home, and he must not know how to deal with it. FYL OP.
cmayer 20
Poor guy. I get the feeling his wife says mean things like that pretty often.
vegasdragon 7
Wow, poor bastard. Not gonna lie though I prolly would've laughed.
Ariet 20
Hahaha, if I were you I'd laugh too. :P
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Either she has a tendency to humiliate him in public or he is really super sensitive and can't take a joke. Either way OP, lesson learned. To be honest, I would probably have laughed too, that was a classic burn.