Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
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Top comments
sirpantselot 22
They seem to have spent an ironically long time looking at you...
Original_Outcast 23
No miss I wasn't staring at your breasts, I was making sure you weren't drowning!
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Comments (64)
Original_Outcast 23
No miss I wasn't staring at your breasts, I was making sure you weren't drowning!
Not_Impressed13 9
I see you brought your own flotation devices!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
"Will you blow up MY floatation device?"
ironichalibut 24
"All hands on d-e-ck!"
fishstick557 14
Just tell your supervisor that she looked like she was in distress so you kept an eye on her
groovycrazyjoe 18
can't just gawk at people it's weird
THuD29 4
Wear sunglasses next time
sirpantselot 22
They seem to have spent an ironically long time looking at you...
wlddog 14
Yet another reason to wear sunglasses on the job.
annie_nk 23
Big ego or just stupid?
JACKxRAWR 22
"Of course he was looking at me. Gah, haven't you noticed how fabulous I am?"
goose12321 11
Stupid most likely.
wlddog 14
Why not both? (Got the idea from a Taco Bell commercial)
trivel64 16
good job
ChenEighty 20
I feel like if he doesn't want you looking at him, you shouldn't save him if he actually starts to drown. But hey, maybe I'm just an asshole..
RodzillaX 30
I was going to say the same exact thing. Let them suffer.
ironichalibut 24
Just because you're a lifeguard doesn't mean you can ogle all the swimsuits. Next time run in slow motion, then everyone will think you're in slow motion instead of just staring.
Julianne_sings 10
Some people will do anything to cause drama. If you weren't staring at them, they would probably have complained that you weren't doing your job.
antonimos 12
You can't win :(
attitude_angel 15
Well maybe you do and you just don't realize it...
cutiepie292929 18
Omg. Then they will complain if they are drowning and you don't see them
Futacy 30
*Sigh* the things people do to feel wanted...
karlcolt45 19
she must have been feeling self conscious about her breaststroke