Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (3372)
On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (1014)
On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States
Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (1007)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (3011)
On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (867)
On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (2813)
On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (1295)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (3812)
On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (3291)
On 03/07/2012 at 6:14am - work - by Jake (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML
I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (2336)
On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (48333)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (2432)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (4865)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
