Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Same thing different taste
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Not a cheating!
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Kim
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Running commentary
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Dad priorities
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Top comments
Jakil_Spectre 0
Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL
ThinkingPunkLove 0
That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
Jakil_Spectre 0
Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL
mojomojo_fml 5
This has nothing on mine. My dad went WITH me. And got Magnums. I'm a guy and the cashier was a really cute chick. I'm guessing she didn't know we're related. FML
platypuscatrat 0
YDI for having a dad with a penis.
Lilianna_fml 0
@6: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's funny. You could have gotten lucky- she may have wanted to try to turn a gay man straight.
beepmeep 0
uh@"YDI for having a dad with a penis"
reyemrein 0
it would be slightly less akward if you were his son instead of his daughter.
opendaz 0
Your dad RULES! talk of Players @ 40 something.... xD
FBIWarning 0
lol you walked into that :P
yayclaire 1
well now you know what's happening tonight!
homiecat 0
hahahhaa woww thats silly
Atreyu_Love 0
That's why he's wrapping his willy ;)
lokita13 0
Now u know wat type of condoms he uses
arienh4 0
Which is really, really useful. /sarcasm
blushy 14
at least you know he's beig safe lol
f_my_life3 0
this isnt even that bad fool.
samusfox 0
Well, what kind did he ask for?
ThinkingPunkLove 0
That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...
mattmag 0
He's just trying to save gas. And he's helping control the population by using birth control. He sounds like a pretty environmentally aware dude.
kissiy6 15
ughh.. that's so disturbing :P! Did you get them for him :O!