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Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you totally deserved it (1097)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

More FMLs?

carnivore's life also sucks

GreatAim also deserved it

Comments

(+4)

90% ? Well I suppose you could be a zombie.

#1 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:25am by Apocalyptus

(+5)

or a prostitute

#6 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:30am by no1askdu

(0)

How the heck does being a prostitute figure in to this?

#9 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:52am by Passerbye

(+5)

through the miracle of humour, the receptors for which you seem to not posess.

#14 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:23am by organisedchaos

(+4)

#14 I am giving you +2 internets for your awesomeness, so now you're up to 145 internets.

#23 - On 09/23/2009 at 7:24am by HahaYDI

(+1)

Braaaaaaaaiiiiiinsss....

#26 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:15am by Subtext

(0)

haha he has 10% doubt that he's living

#37 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:31am by z3r0ram

(-3)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

at least 90% sure you're alive? you're pathetic attempt at humor failed miserably.

#58 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:36pm by missmollylynn

(+2)

And your pathetic attempt at being cool also failed miserably. Seriously, the OP was just joking.
and OP, that FML made my day(:

#61 - On 09/23/2009 at 9:25pm by Monie_Madness

(0)

your a fucking idiot

#70 - On 09/24/2009 at 1:43pm by Shanx

(+1)

You're*

#71 - On 09/24/2009 at 6:00pm by Monado

(0)

Call in the Ghostbusters!!!


Either that, or who isn't almost a zombie on some mornings?

#84 - On 02/01/2010 at 12:58pm by musiclife

(0)

:O Zombieeeeeeee

#2 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:25am by NdnStlkr

(0)

90%? Okay, that got me laughing. Try another site based on the fact that one is utter rubbish :P And throw rocks at their servers whilst you're at it.

#3 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:26am by Faithful_Jewel

(+1)

90%'s not bad. Most people have no idea they're alive so good for you!

#4 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:26am by Disturbed425

(+5)

In Soviet Russia, Credit Report Kills You!

#5 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:29am by untoldfame

(+1)

HAHA Excellent

#42 - On 09/23/2009 at 12:58pm by PhysOptGuy

(+1)

epic win XDDDDD

this FML is excellent, btw. a good story and funny delivery. *double thumbs up*

#60 - On 09/23/2009 at 9:17pm by diet_otaku

(0)

so, you're 10% dead. no biggie.

#7 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:35am by twistedluver101

(0)

I'm not dead. I feeeeaaallll happyyyyy!

#64 - On 09/23/2009 at 11:39pm by gothymama

hey I would check on that if I were you. if someone was using your info and really did die I feel sorry for you. do you know how much paper work your going to have to do?

#8 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:35am by heyhookers

(0)

they ment financially...

#10 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:54am by kingkash

(0)

Very funny post, I hope you get it all worked out.

#11 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:54am by BenignScientists

(-4)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

90% of me says this fml post sucks

#12 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:06am by lol_u_loser

(+1)

It seems you're only mostly alive. Now mostly alive, means slightly dead.

#13 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:13am by Hackle

(+1)

True, its better then mostly dead

#27 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:25am by miyon

(+1)

"To Blave" means "To Bluff"

#43 - On 09/23/2009 at 1:00pm by PhysOptGuy

(+1)

:D Princess Bride! I love you all for those references!

#46 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:39pm by Sun_Kissed18

(+1)

Ome! Thank you! I was totally thinking of PB! :) this made my day ^^

And OP- you might wanna get that checked out... I hear being dead (even just "slightly") is bad for your health. :D lol

#52 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:08pm by MandYy

(0)

should have gone to freecreditreport.com.

#15 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:25am by muffinsareyummy

(0)

wich costs $15 a month >.>

#83 - On 12/07/2009 at 2:49am by Juggalette_623

(0)

FYAL (Fuck Your After Life)
I love the way this one was worded and good luck with the credit bureau. If they don't fix it for you shamble up to their door moaning "brains... braaaaiiiins"

#16 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:36am by EMR

(+1)

If you'd gone to freecreditreport.com, you'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

#17 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:43am by valuemeal2

(+1)

so are you gonna go for that lide insurance $ or what?

#18 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:51am by KillU2009

(+1)

then who was credit card?

#19 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:51am by lolbethanyxx

(0)

You, #19, are a genius.

#25 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:10am by lo1337a

(0)

why thank you #25. ^___^

#55 - On 09/23/2009 at 7:08pm by lolbethanyxx

(0)

I hope your a zombie because I'm telling ya I really don't want to go to work anymore. I'd rather just kill zombies all day every day in real life.

#20 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:02am by 24788

(-1)

You're only 90% sure you're alive?

#21 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:44am by MiniatureMayhem

(+1)

wooosh.

#22 - On 09/23/2009 at 7:17am by Stormx

(0)

The good thing is they can't tax u

#24 - On 09/23/2009 at 7:51am by rocker8877

(0)

Well I call 90% of your story is a lie anyway.

#28 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:30am by itsallbs

(0)

Could be worse. We found out that our ten month old has a house and a car. That was a lengthy ordeal.

#30 - On 09/23/2009 at 9:25am by alwaysalady

(+1)

Nice to be ahead in life, eh?

#47 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:34pm by AAAAHHHH12

(0)

I wish my son came with a house and a car! On second thought, I had a completely natural delivery, so no I don't!

#66 - On 09/23/2009 at 11:43pm by gothymama

(0)

i am 90% sure you should leave everything to me in your will just incase the credit report is forseeing the near future.

#31 - On 09/23/2009 at 9:41am by Flamersplamer

(-1)

your 90% sure your not dead...not funny. your an idiot

#32 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:05am by Th217

(0)

I'm 90% sure you're an idiot also. And to be precise, he should be 50% sure that it's not true since being dead is only half of what he mentioned.

#34 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:08am by BaghdadAssUp

(0)

I think he's only 90% sure about having credit. I'm pretty sure he's still alive, unless he's really, really boring

#33 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:08am by RatIsKing

(0)

haha that is truly an fml

#35 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:18am by prospekt1

(0)

Dammit! Not another one! You'll never take me alive, zombie!
*grabs a shotgun*

PS Ouch. That sucks.

#36 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:19am by blastvortex

(0)

YDI for not realizing your own Death.

I would say FYL, but apparently you have no life

#38 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:48am by 1337_RoXxXor

(0)

WOOT ZOMBIE

#39 - On 09/23/2009 at 12:14pm by 17xVampx17

(0)

Hahahaha this is good humor. Great post. We need more FMLs like this, I'm getting bored.

#40 - On 09/23/2009 at 12:54pm by PhysOptGuy

(0)

HAHA excellent.

#41 - On 09/23/2009 at 12:56pm by PhysOptGuy

(+1)

Today I went online and checked MY credit report and discovered I have $66,666.50 in student loans. FML.
I'd say being dead might just be better! Live of the grid ;)

#44 - On 09/23/2009 at 3:02pm by graciedacie

(+2)

Vegan zombie says GRAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS

#45 - On 09/23/2009 at 4:31pm by f_u_u_f_f

(0)

Lmao. This was epic =]

#48 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:42pm by ilovesk8rs107

(0)

Lol well the bright side is dead people don't have to pay taxes!

#50 - On 09/23/2009 at 5:47pm by Fingers0689

(0)

YDI for being 10% sure you're dead.

#51 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:00pm by hbgoddard

(0)

maybe he's like bruce willis on the sixth sense.
he's dead, he just hasn't realized it yet.

#53 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:14pm by morglyt

(0)

I wonder what has to happen to turn that 90% to a 100%...hmmmm? ;)

#54 - On 09/23/2009 at 6:33pm by anglicdvil524

(0)

ROFL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

#56 - On 09/23/2009 at 7:58pm by mommmma

(0)

WIN.

#57 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:20pm by PurpDOODE

(0)

your 90% sure that you aren't dead?

#59 - On 09/23/2009 at 8:41pm by bugmenotmofo

(0)

Atleast you've got a good sence of humor :)

#62 - On 09/23/2009 at 9:37pm by lz11

(0)

Haha, you do have a good sense of humor! These people can be asses, ignore them.

#63 - On 09/23/2009 at 10:19pm by valentinegirl_14

(0)

That sucks.

#65 - On 09/23/2009 at 11:41pm by xxMiiNii

(0)

haha it's funny because she clearly not dead oh yess

#67 - On 09/24/2009 at 2:23am by Andyangels27

(0)

lucky!!!! i'm only like 85% sure i'm alive right now.

#68 - On 09/24/2009 at 3:31am by pmk138

(0)

I didn't exist outside of a place I lived 7 years ago on mine. You may want to call the social security administration to get that straitened out. Could be someone stole your id and then died or the ss department messed up and reassigned their number to you when you were born.

#69 - On 09/24/2009 at 9:55am by vixnbrianaf

(0)

Time to max out your credit cars and stop paying your bills!!!

#72 - On 09/24/2009 at 8:43pm by galad2003

(0)

Well... you could look at as a way to get a 'fresh start' - I guess...

#73 - On 09/25/2009 at 12:15am by Psychomaze

(0)

90% precent sure...FML WIN; lol!

#74 - On 09/25/2009 at 12:52am by zeldaiam

(-1)

At least 90%?
THAT ISNT FUNNY.
Did you really think that was funny? If you do you are an idiot.

Fact.

#75 - On 09/25/2009 at 2:24pm by littlegirl12

(0)

#75. Actually, it *is* funny.

Fact: Your friends probably call you Dwight Schrute behind your back.

#78 - On 10/04/2009 at 10:29pm by JmfDiver

(0)

F-R-E-E that spells free credit report.com baby!!

#76 - On 09/28/2009 at 9:55am by swimmer07

(0)

are you positive? cuz those things are almost never wrong! ;)

#77 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:00am by AdamGD

(0)

Haha I love the last sentence of this one!

#79 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:28am by DynamicDave

(0)

This should go on MLIA

#80 - On 10/18/2009 at 12:52pm by lolgrrrl

(0)

Funny!!!

#81 - On 10/31/2009 at 9:06pm by haligi

(0)

90% sure. Lol, nice.

But that sucks.

#82 - On 11/17/2009 at 7:40pm by RandomCommenter

(0)

Rip lad

#85 - On 04/26/2010 at 12:11pm by trilluno

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