Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
meetrasan tells us more.
I'm OP. My husband couldn't hold his liquor over a few beers if his **** and balls depended on it. It's been a topic of arguments for a while already and this is the final straw. But it's kind of a funny situation if you think about it, that's why I posted it. To any stupid people that are going to ask how can he afford to go out drinking, read my other comment. And I KNOW someone's going to ask how could I afford a computer or a phone to post this, and my answer is: I don't buy a new computer or phone every day, shit head. I could sell my computer, but you try going without easy internet access in this day and age. We'll survive.
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
lolasains 7
He should have bought bacon.
boborules 7
That's a damn sHAMe.
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Comments (183)
lolasains 7
He should have bought bacon.
thesubconscious 9
He obviously was extremely hammered to not have bought bacon
gotaplanstan 28
@49 I told you homeboy u can't touch this!
DefiningDivine 13
Allister, He's ready for you. If you didn't get the reference, then go ahead, thumb me down. I'm begging you.
boborules 7
That's a damn sHAMe.
ladyLALAA 29
That was not very punny!
euphoricness 28
That wasn't very punny No but seriously, there was no pun in that
KayleeT 9
Are you stupid?
Shadowvoid 33
I thought it was a ham shame...
sacrosanct2 23
#2 trying way too hard
that_band_nerd 22
Have you seen your picture? But yeah, of course he's the try hard, totally not you. .-.
143dav 8
That sucks OP. Usually I would make a comment pertaining to starving kids in Africa but no one should have to eat so much ham, NO ONE
JimSweatshirt 6
Except starving people maybe...?
21jason 9
Yeah they might enjoy it
doctorhook86 25
3: In any given part of Africa, there's like 50% chance the local people are Muslim. Ham isn't halal, so Muslims wouldn't eat it. The More You Know!
ocramavaf 15
if you're hungry enough you just say **** religion, eat the shit out of that ham and deal with the man above later.
404wan 19
Thats... Really not how it works in islam.
dashizam 10
You're broke and he can still go out to drink?
meetrasan 1
That's why I said "FOOD budget" dear. Our disposable income's small but it's enough for a lightweight to get wasted on. And trust me: he's a lightweight.
ThatsMyPie 20
The glorious OP has spoken!
cyanidesandwich 21
First time i've seen an OP comment on their FML
DudeEvil 22
48, go to menu, then 'the follow-up'
alycion 39
While I get budgets and disposable income, if a major appliance needs to be replaced and my husband did dumb things with money while drunk, I'd pretend like there was no disposable income until things got fixed. When I first got married, my husband would have been good for what yours did even sober. So we made an agreement to lock down all unnecessary spending if something major came up, even if that something major had to go on credit. It kept us from the money spiral that situations like yours caused. Took us a few times to learn to do that though.
chosha_fml 27
Clearly you CAN'T afford for him to get wasted, because he makes stupid money decisions when he does. :/
doodlecloud 27
Totally agree with 118. Budgets are flexible, they change depending on your needs, and at the moment your need is 'money for fridge freezer' not 'money for booze for idiot husband'. Very surprised how many people have thumbed up 20. Even if your husband hasn't done this kind of thing before, you kinda deserve it for being irresponsible and 'budgeting' money for luxuries when you currently don't have enough food or anywhere to store it.
sofiery 9
Erm, she said the money WAS for food.. Is food a luxury now??
Ponponpon_fml 5
Precisely one metric **** load.
Snackycake 20
I hope someday that will be a real unit of measurement.
TheRandomIndian 17
I forgot, is that more than one metric shit load?
nikininja 4
No no, it is more than a metric shit load but less than a metric **** load.
SuperDanielNL 23
It's at least more than one metric crapload.
doctorhook86 25
A metric cuntload is 0.1 of a metric fuckton(ne), right?
gc327072 31
What about a shit-ton, though?
WhyAmUHere 19
Slightly under one metric ****-ton.
DeadPixel4 29
But more than a metric shit ton
theamazingone_12 7
salt it, that's what people did before refrigeration
eastsidesoldier 7
K
melons 44
Perhaps that's why they're broke...
melons 44
Hmmm, that was intended to be in reply to number 4.
HortonThelephant 15
I do not like Green Eggs with Ham, I do not like them, Sam I Am
ladyLALAA 29
I do not like them with a fox!
red_headforlife 15
I do not like them in a box!
sammyf89 13
I do not like them with a mouse!
Kallian_fml 21
I do not like them in a house.
kc1997kc 9
I do not like them here nor there.
djinnsnme 19
I do not like them anywhere.
Catkam623 27
Would you? Could you? in a car?
SomeRandomGuy15 18
You do not like them. SO you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and you may I say.
AndersHolmvich 2
Best thread ever...
Soloman212 28
I always found it strange that my mom had me read that book when I was learning to read, when we're Muslim... I digress; This thread is winrar on an epic scale, like the kind that would range from a mouse to a whale.
sens3sfailing 25
Fact:Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham on a bet that he could write an entire book using less the 50 different words. He won.
chosha_fml 27
I do not like them on a bridge. I do not like them in a broken fridge.
fdupagain 11
I do not like them in a drunken brawl, I do not like them passed out in the hall.
2035 9
He just wants one huge sandwich...
MizzKilljoy69 11
"the fridge broke so i ate everything"
ksurf 10
Haha! Hooray for Friends.