By meetrasan - 18/03/2013 00:01

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 525
You deserved it 4 436

meetrasan tells us more.

meetrasan 1

I'm OP. My husband couldn't hold his liquor over a few beers if his **** and balls depended on it. It's been a topic of arguments for a while already and this is the final straw. But it's kind of a funny situation if you think about it, that's why I posted it. To any stupid people that are going to ask how can he afford to go out drinking, read my other comment. And I KNOW someone's going to ask how could I afford a computer or a phone to post this, and my answer is: I don't buy a new computer or phone every day, shit head. I could sell my computer, but you try going without easy internet access in this day and age. We'll survive.

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Top comments

boborules 7

That's a damn sHAMe.

210 19

Comments

mkcherry 14

If you live somewhere where its below freezing this time of year (canada for example) you could put the meat in a cooler in your trunk and it would keep. Or just put it in a box and ask your neighbor to store it for you. I wouldnt let it go to waste! Ice is pretty cheap if you can afford that I would put the ham in an ice bath with a metric shit ton of salt to keep the ice from melting. Here are all of the really cheap recipes with ham I could think of off really quickly so hopefully you don't get bored and can use it up before it spoils. ham and eggs. (scrambled or fried eggs) or you could thinly slice the ham, line a muffin tin with the ham slices, crack an egg on top and bake. cuban sandwiches (hot sandwich with tosted bread, cheese, ham, spicy mustard and pickles) pasta salad with cubed ham (cold pasta, italian dressing, olives, cheese cubs, shredded carrot, broccoli) ham and deviled eggs (mix shredded ham in with egg yolk mixture and stuff back into the whites cold ham sandwiches (ham, lettuce, tomato etc) baked ham (throw some honey or brown sugar on the top, bake and serve with potatoes, pasta and sauce, vegetables) bake some sweet potato biscuits (really easy), cut biscuits in half fill with ham and bake again until warm: eat with butter and honey Ham and vegetable soup. (potato, carrots, celery w. thyme/rosemary). Ham fried rice: peas, scrambled egg, carrots, and cold, cooked rice, thrown in HOT pot with a little oil. . quiche! (eggs, ham, green pepper, cheese: like a denver omelette) pizza (english muffin, french bread, biscuit dough topped with cheese and pineapple from a can. ham and cheese muffins, (just a plain muffin recipe or mix with no sugar), or even better corn bread muffin mix or use or roll out some canned bread/biscuit/croissant dough and fill with cubed/sliced ham and cheese, roll up and bake. pea and ham soup (made with gold split peas) Hawaiian brand bread rolls and ham. stuff hawaiian rolls with sliced ham and bake until gold brown.

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Enslaved 36

The food budget is gone. ALL those things you listed (phew what a list!) are more things that would need to be purchased. For now OP will need to settle for a hand sandwich, which is just the meat in the hand since there's no money for bread!:P

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buckdharma 36

Ham is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. There's, um, ham kebabs, ham creole, ham gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir fried. There's pineapple ham and lemon ham, coconut ham, pepper ham, ham soup, ham stew, ham salad, ham and potatoes, hamburger, ham sandwich... That's, that's about it.

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Enslaved 36

That scene from "Forrest Gump" made me sad because Bubba didn't mention-- Curry shrimp! ):

5 0
TiddleyMoney 7

holy ****... I didn't even try to read that novel...

13 3
curlstar 6

I only read the beginning of your cookbook, but correct me if I'm mistaken. Wouldn't the salt encourage the ice to melt rather than preventing it? Isn't that why people put salt on icy roads?

4 0
fdupagain 11

Salt to keep ice from melting. Ha ha. All, that will get you is salt water! Maybe store the ham in that to cute it.

2 0
YepThatsMeee 23

Apparently a cuntload of meat is more than she can eat

16 1
Twitch5253 4

find a way to keep the ham, get rid of the hubby !

1 4
mrcool4847 10

Sell whatever you posted on here with

2 18
Misskayfoyer 14

Slice it up and fry it like bacon. :9 you know like 'when life gives you lemons...' 'When life gives you ham...attempt to make bacon, even though its the wrong part of the pig'

8 3
my_name_is_earl 9

Cook all now and just put it in ziplock bags.. It shouldn't spoil if cooked

2 16
PandaKitteh 20

But maybe not him ;]

4 10
Jharrist89 12

I think it's time to find a new ham... I mean man!

2 1
jbuckets_404 38

When my relatives in Detroit suffered through that week-long East-Coast power outage a few summers ago, the entire neighborhood had a big grill-out & picnic before their food spoiled. It might be time to remove & hide the cash and all credit, debit, & ATM cards from your husband's wallet. Best of luck to you!

2 1